oldwoodcutter

Had a thorn laying crossways inside my finger joint for the past week, after it stopped hurting I’ve just left it there, I’ll admit that I didn’t try a calpol thing but I tried everything else short of cutting my own tendons through.

I thought I’d do a few press ups the other morning, managed a few but it took me the rest of the day to get back up onto my feet again

I have thought about getting back and my foreman and lads are keen, but as above, I don’t want those John The Baptist types putting vids all over fb as that’s one bit of publicity I don’t need. Could start again in a fortnight, see how it is.

I’ve put everything with a 2 stroke engine in my spare bedroom. In the middle of the night they’re about 10 feet from my head, as the crow flies.

My dealer serviced my tw230dhb over a year ago , while it was having new chassis rails put on at their depot, so no mileage or traveling , a jaw dropping £594.69

As the one legged limbo dancer said - I stand corrected [emoji846]

Seems like there’s plenty of government money to be handed out to the p.a.y. e. employees who get the virus, but if we get it or when we have lock down, I think we (the self employed) can look forward to nothing except seeing what the inside of our houses look like during daylight hours.

I took a big dead one to bits last year chipped all the branches. A dead monkey puzzle is just about the most viscous thing a tree worker can deal with. My trunk was so dead it was useless for anything except firewood, and the branches lethal before and during chipping. I think we’ve all still got the scars.

I just wish they wouldn’t keep saying the elderly are most at risk, I may have to cancel that 6 week luxury 7 seas cruise

After many great engineering minds have looked at my just out of warrantytw230dhb spout end chute, the threads failed months ago, the square holes rounded off up there, and tw recommend buying whole new spout I noticed my lads have finally cured the flap jumping or dropping every 2 minutes. Modification no 23 hailed as a success with a big thumbs up .

Latest thinking is uk doesn’t need farmers anymore, cheaper to import everything , rather than handing out grants and handouts to them for anything and everything. A business friend of mine, who can’t claim much back in his line of work, nevertheless has a 6 month old bmw 7 series that he decants 20 litre tubs of red into every week, which he refills from his village garage when he goes up in his old van. I couldn’t help but have a good natured laugh with him when I dropped into his yard as he was juggling an oversized funnel in one hand and a full tub of red over his other arm trying not to scuff the paintwork.

A woman was visiting her husband in hospital, but couldn’t find the right ward. She poked her head in one ward full of men and noticed a young man masterbating feverishly on his bed. Shocked and stunned she told the doctor, he said don’t worry he’s got a disease where his scrotum constantly fills with semen, and if he didn’t masterbate 5 times a day,his scrotum would burst under the pressure. In another ward , still trying to track down her old man, she sees a nurse giving a blow job to someone in the first bed. Again she sees the doctor in the corridor and voices her shock but the doc explains that this second man has exactly the same disease as the first one . . . except he’s in BUPA .

Who doesn’t sit up a bit straighter, and glances down to make sure their belt is on when there’s a cop car on their tail. And when stopped my heart sinks as in my door mirror I see him walking towards me looking very mean. Being pulled over is an occupational hazard of being a tree surgeon driving a double cab transit tipper within 10miles of the local pikey reservation. Luckily it’s a few words of advice or a routine enquiry rather than consistently being 2 tonne overweight, that has aroused their suspicions.

Keep my Whitby on my bench which I’ve had since the 70s not much blade left now but it still keeps a phenomenal edge. Opinel in truck, had that for years too, don’t ask me how no ones nicked it yet.

Dennis Lee at Fakenham, does everything and has everything in stock

Just a few years ago, we were treeing in what was a fairly modern development of nice houses, but where the householders parked off road at right angles in a nice line, rather than by their front doors. My climber casually stuffs his old truck in one of these unallocated slots, as open space was at a premium, and a short while later mr BMW X5 comes chugging in and blocks the truck in, sits in his X5 for a few minutes, obviously fuming, then goes to a house and slams the door nearly off its hinges. All on the ground saw it, and surmised what would happen. This climber was, and still is, always of a very volatile disposition, of the bare knuckle variety, so much so that my lads are always a bit wary of him, they don’t make jokes that could be taken the wrong way in his hearing, or ask him personal questions of any nature, however amusing they think the topic is. So the job got finished, he puts his stuff in his truck, and goes and knocks on the door , which is ignored for a good few minutes despite knocking at intervals. The general consensus is that x5 will be dragged out from his door by his hair, or at the very least sustain severe internal injuries before, during or after BMW’s shifted. But he kept his cool by simply asking if he could move it please, which he did. I took the opportunity to go over to his truck and said how well he handled the situation by showing, what to him, must have been enormous restraint .

Someone asked , windfall are trees or branches that have fallen to the forest floor. Windblown are a completely different kettle of fish, those trees that have blown over and are hanging up on others, silently waiting to kill you, at best.

£800 ? charity or not, I wouldn’t feel guilty about adding a zero to that figure.

Of course it can go against the grain when you see the nice little earner you’ve priced up has been done by someone else. I occasionally mutter crack on to myself when I drive by one, but it’s always going to happen. It may have been done worse than your own standards, or better come to that, but you will almost certainly have done the same to other tree companies in your area, more than likely without even knowing it. I generally try and be philosophical, and look forward around the corner to when I do hit that big pay day again

I have resisted the temptation to buy a 500i as my 462 seems perfection itself. For the big stuff I still have the big boy, my heavily ported and highly tuned 660 .

Why not also do a little bit of fencing then you could call yourself Midges Utility Fencing & Forestry.

We were on £380 a day, 40 years ago with a fordson major, a big trailer, and a telephone linesman’s harness.