PeteB

A family are driving home following a bin lorry when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. Embarrased, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry, that was an insect." To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!"

Hey Josh! Talk to jez Smithers at Salean, he will give you an honest answer.

Where is the depot Ian, I'll take a look.

On Friday, I was delivering a replacement QuadChip to a Plant Hire firm based near to Selby. As I arrived, the owner is on one phone to the Police and on another phone to one of his delivery/collection drivers. The driver is on the M62 near to Pontefract, following a Cabstar towing a QuadChip which he recognises as their stolen one. The Cabstar goes to exit the motorway, followed by the delivery lorry (towing a plant trailer and mini digger). At the last second, the Cabstar swerves across the chevrons and back onto the motorway. The delivery guy daren't make such a maneuver towing his load and the Cabstar carries onwards. The delivery driver may be mistaken and it isn't their stolen machine, but if anyone spots a Cabstar towing a QuadChip in that area, please contact Peter Bagguley at GreenMech on 07774 282481 so that this may be checked out. I have been told that an Arborist 150 has been seen near to Castleford on a Travellers site - can anyone confirm this? There are three on our register listed as stolen.

Like most "original" suppliers, we record who it goes to 1st, thence forth it can be a lottery. If we know of its subsequent owners, this is noted. If someone reports a loss, the dealership network gets a "round robin" email, making them aware of serial number. If any potential buyer asks for the history, we will give what we have, freely.

A while back, a customer of mine rented a GreenMech woodchipper to a new customer and took copies of his I.D, credit card etc and all seemed good. The payment for the first week went through etc. The gentleman then stopped answering his phone and subsequently, it was discovered that all was false and the Police subsequently caught him. He has a history of doing this and has already spent 4 years at Her Majesty's pleasure for a similar set of circumstances. The woodchipper recently turned up at a dealers for a service etc and has been impounded by the Police. The chap who took it to the dealer got it of a "gent"after it was advertised on an auction website. The buyer paid cash and admitted it was a "bargain", now, he has no chipper. The case is to go to Crown Court soon and the accused is likely to do more stir! Why don't people ring and ask about a machines history? Why are they surprised when the "bargain" suddenly appears less so? Please, Please, PLEASE, ask questions about the provenance of a used machine, if it checks out? Pay for it using a secure method, if you sell something and a cheque, bank draft etc is offered, ring the issuer before handing over the goods,!!!

Let him eat free his mouse then you use his to randomly click on things while he tries to navigate around the screen!

Rodgers in Honley, near to Huddersfield will deliver as will Chippendales of Leeds.

Typical Yorkshire man Clarkey, you've been spotted!

Ha! I was going to Trent Polytechnic to do interior design and got a job as a labourer doing tree work. That holiday job lasted 17 years!!! That summer ended and GreenMech had an opening.... You are all true, spose. Tom passed a workshop apprenticeship to do this games thing! And that got up my nose. Pip is a big lass who isnt at all physical, wants to dance? Where did that shweppes cone from!

Anyone else struggling to get the children to chose some sensible subjects at school or college? My daughter has chosen Psychology, Dance, Drama and Music as she is going to be a dancer or an actress in a Soap Opera and my lad is going to college to do a BTec in computer games! I cannot get it through to each of them that they are being daft and unrealistic and the stupid ex-wife thinks that it will be okay! She thinks that their dreams will come true! Two years time, they'll both have a nasty shock about life!

A while back, I saw an advert which had a postcode, chucked that Google Eath then looked around. Very few trees and no properties in the area looked anything like those in the add. Not concrete proof I know, but it was giving a big clue..... I do know of one chap who did buy one from there, gave his credit card details and drove up! No such address! No woodchipper around.... I found a stolen machine the other day too. The new owner was aghast that his ebay bargain wasn't genuine and that cheap chipper was suddenly expensive! Please remember this, if it is cheap - there is a reason! It is either knackered, or someone else's! Check the numbers match with the original supplier, importer, manufacturer!

Dump the quack and go to a chiropractor, osteopath or some such. I slipped 2 discs many years ago and the occasionally still give me grief. Quack always said pain killers and anti-inflammatory tablets, this time I went to a chiropractor and he told me that it wasn't a muscle but discs and trapped nerve, and manipulation was the key.

A woman,who is a massive country and western music lover decides to have a tattoo of her C&W Heroes,Johnny Cash and Kenny Rogers done on each inner thigh.This she has done,proudly comes home and shows the artwork to her husband. He looks for a while,then says "It looks nothing like either of them". Rather miffed,she storms into her local pub, drops her jeans and panties and asks the first fella she sees "Who do you think these look like". After studying the tattoos the bloke says"Well, im not sure about the left and right ones,but the one in the middle is definitely Willie Nelson."

It would tow your QuadChip too! I regularly towed a 1928 which is best part of 1.5 tonnes with ease.

I had the TD4 van as a rep's express! The GreenMech tow tug did 140k miles in 3 years before the front drive shafts rebelled and a change in my circumstances enforced a change. Faultless upto that point but Landrover servicing was ruinously expensive! I would have another!

They don't put bay windows in an outhouse!

GreenMech gives a two year warranty, conditional on correct service regime and using recommended service items which you may source yourself. One cannot definitively say how long any blades last. My guys used to rotate the GreenMech blades little and often hence the wear pattern was good and our overall blade life was incredible. I had one for 3 years and then another for 2 years before we finished and we never brought any blades. The third machine had reversible blades and we usually got 2 sets a year. The GreenMech machines did more hours too as they were better to feed. Being mounted in a cup, the round blades also caused less consequential loss should a rail clip or such go through. A surface mounted flat blade could explode and come out via the wrap or take out the shear bars! I had that happen twice and it was an expensive noise!

Mick Aston, has died aged 66. TV presenter and archaeological expert in several fields has died. Best wishes to his family, and those who knew him. Time Team 1994 - 2011

Good tool, we sold a rook of them a while back. Best advice on the individual hand brakes was to rotate the lever on the hub so that it is horizontal and cable in through the cover. Think about converting the head to utilize other cutters too, as Laski cutters where an expensive casting against Vermeer or Rayco. What are people's opinions on the Multitip version?

Love the Marina on steroids! Very much like something Gerry Marshall would make go!

Lost! !!! When you mean inwards, do you mean hoses towards the operator so he has a view or away, so he cannot see them bashed?

A QuadChip 160 belonging FairFax Plant Hire in Selby was very recently stolen from premises in the Rotherham area from the company that had the machine on hire. I believe that it was stolen from a locked building in a locked compound and the serial number is 12227.

I like the genre of entertainment that fuses skill, dexterity, dare devilism and humour. STOMP is another group of players that are good.

The list below is where you will see GreenMech machines exhibited over the next couple of months. June 19th - 20th. Lincolnshire Show, Grange de Lings, Lincoln, with Chandlers Farm Equipment. June 20th - 23rd. Royal Highland Show. Royal Highland Centre, Ingliston, Edinburgh, EH28 8NB Present in the Forestry Arena and with Gammies. June 26th - 27th. Norfolk Agricultural Show at Norwich with Bartram Mowers July 22nd - 25th. Royal Welsh Agricultural Show at Builth Wells with both Beddoes and Cambrian Plant July 24th. T H Whites open day at their new depot in Timsbury. Manor Nursery, Stockbridge Road, Timsbury SO51 0NB Hampshire July 26th - 27th. At the Border Union Show. Springwood Park, KELSO. TD5 8LS Scottish Borders July 27th. Mid Devon Show with MST. Hartnoll Farm, Post Hill, Tiverton*EX16 4NG The Mid Devon Show July 31st. Yealmpton Show with MST. Kitley Lawns, Yealmpton, Near Plymouth. PL8 2NN Home Page | Yealmpton Show