PeteB

Just a bit of fun, a goody pack to the owner of the eldest GreenMech around.

Just a bit of fun with a goody pack to the person with the eldest GreenMech woodchipper! I'll post again in the "Machinery Section" too.

I think I have....marmite was better!

Been there, done that! Twice! Had the snip! Now playing at the fun bit again.... Kids are in their teens, I'm divorced, skint, demoralised.... Life goes on ad infinitum.....

Greenmech – 50 years of manufacturing on the same site. The Turner family have been manufacturing on the same site for 50 years, making a range of equipment for the groundcare industry and GreenMech was formed 20 years ago. We are justifiably proud of being a manufacturer and we are, once again, throwing open our doors for interested people to come and see what we do and how it is done. The event is an all day visit to GreenMech, with a period spent in the GreenMech Training Centre with a powerpoint presentation, a factory tour, demonstrations of the goods we make and a buffet lunch. Although the factory produce GreenMech woodchippers, the focus is on the manufacturing process and how woodchippers are built (our way)and less on the woodchipper sales although you may be able to buy one on the day if you require. As per the previous visits, spaces are limited, so please request your place(s) with GreenMech, contacting Hazel Honeybourne at [email protected] or contact your local GreenMech dealer as they might be attending as well. The day is anticipated to take from about 10:00 up to 15:00 or so and will be on the Thursday May 16th 2013. If you have any special dietary requirements or wish to view a specific machine, please advise when booking your place.

I'd go for the GreenMech:sneaky2:

Once locked my bro in a cubicle while I had a pee, he shouted "Peter, you effing w@#$&£ r, let me out this effing bog before I effing kill you!" Just as my rather proper father walked in! That meant that there was two annoyed people I had to deal with! Fair play to Asda for public relations.

Try Browns at Leighton Buzzard. Ill pin the number up for the hire desk in a short bit...

Abley put Dean. But price is always going to be the first question. "Is it within the pool I have available?", "Does it work?" "Is it value for money?" "Can it be supported by the seller?"

List price on CS100 with 18hp is £4, 550 + vat! Have a squabble with your lical GreenMech dealer....

My missus is thinking of keeping a couple of pigs, possibly a couple of sows and having a batch of piglets to rear as produce. Anyone got any good tips and advice? Pig rearing courses? Food? Fencing? Shelters? Area needed? Paperwork? Vets bills? Suppliers? All info gratefully received! Anyone in Nottinghamshire, Leicestershire, Derbyshire or Lincolnshire we can visit for hints?

Turner Groundcare at Chester have a demo QuadChip for sale, or I can bring a 150 up, I might be able to find a 1928 road tow in the network too. PM me or ring my mobile 07774 282481

I watched my girl walk slowly down the aisle. My heart beat faster with eager anticipation, my knees went weak with the glorious thoughts of the future, my eyes watered as she reached my side and reached out to hold my hand, my voice faltered as I said "get that trolley here, Stella is 3 slabs for the price of two!".

Parts cost what they cost I'm afraid. I just parted with £400+ for pads all round and new discs on an 18month old Hyundai IX35, she has only done 65k:confused1:

Get on Bath! Take it to the Frogs!!!

Sweet! That wench of mine is going to be embarrassed but the kid's will have a right laugh in the shops at the weekend!

Is that a chicken legand?

Every tine we build a batch of 130, they all get sold! So have to wait again....the 150 is the top seller so dealers tend to get that for a demo machine and let us support on others! Apart from the engine, bonnet and associated electrics, they are the same platform, opening, rotor etc. Enjoy the demo!

The two machines do a very different job. The material to be put through a chipper needs to be "clean", ie, no stones, nails, muck, soil etc. So it will do heavy shrub prunings, hedge cuttings as well as tree waste, although you might have to use a fork to get the stuff to the rollers. Generally, a shredder does not really like big timber, branches etc but is good for stuff which you wouldn't put through a chipper! Those Pezzolato machines with the conveyor in-feed and discharge are good provided you don't want a mobile unit to drag about all day everyday or are going to hand feed it as that would generally be a pain. They are ideal to feed with a swing shovel and grab or a small 4in1 bucket, provided you are sure that there is nothing nasty in the heap. Remember, these machines are a green waste shredder and not a metal shear or rock crusher! if you treat them like that then the costs go upwards and quickly too. It is at this point that I point out that GreenMech do a fine machine called a Combi. It is a conventional woodchipper at the back and a shredder chute on the side, this enables you to chip the chipable and shred the shredable without any fuss. Brilliant for general landscaping work or for Local Authority grounds maintanence type of work. Go to our website to see the details. GreenMech | specialist and multi-purpose machines for arboriculture, forestry and groundcare contracting services EcoCombi ECM150MT35 | GreenMech

Late response I know.... The Arborist 130/150 range is going very well thanks....we recently had a product recall on a certain number after an engine cradle became detached and the engine sagged into the radiator. Because no daily checks were being done then when the water disappeared from the radiator and the engine went bad. As a precaution - all in that batch of engine cradles have had new cradles sent out to be fitted under warranty. Apart from that, it is a top performer with some really good features such as wide opening, vertical feed rollers, quiet engine, intelligently set up and under 750kgs without removing anything or with no fluids in it. Try it, you'll love it. The 130 is only available as a petrol.

I was going to make a gay joke, Butt bugger it!

I will shortly need to change the bearings on my TW 18/100, it's only a small machine but the shop wants about £450 + vat (not VAT registered) and it's a 120 mile round tow trip: Take it to Outdoor Power Tools in Derby. They are GreenMech dealers but, historically, theybused to be Timberwolf dealers and still look after Timberwolf machines.

LIDL JOB INTERVIEW Jennifer, a manager at a local Lidl store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes she found four people who were equally qualified. Jennifer decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job. The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Jennifer asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?' The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning. 'That's very good!' replied Jennifer. 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man. 'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.' 'Excellent!' said Jennifer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply. 'Well, out at my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'. Jennifer was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said. Turning to Wally, the fourth and final man, Jennifer posed the same question. Old Wally replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHOEA.' 'WHAT !?' said Jennifer, stunned by the response. 'Oh sure', said Wally. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already **** myself..' Wally is now working at a Lidl near you!

My mate from up the street just came round banging on my door, shouting: "Can I use your phone quick? There's Jimmy Saville just been run over down the road and he's bleeding to death." I said: "What's wrong with your phone?" He said: "The camera's **** on mine...."

I've a "project" with new muktifuel 330, rear mounted Atlas a mid mount winch and strong sub chassis in the brambles where she has slept fo some 15 years! Cab well rotted now, hut a TK cab available which is good and undercover. I must do something with it....