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Making the news today....


Mick Dempsey

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33 minutes ago, kevinjohnsonmbe said:

I can't find the exact thread where Big J complains about West country roads - there were too many search results 😂

 

But I think this guy is a distant cousin of J's (watch the vid, don't bother with the journalism - it's Cornwall Live so it is shite at its very best:

 

https://www.cornwalllive.com/news/cornwall-news/man-campervan-says-rubbish-cornwall-5761383?fbclid=IwAR1rItnQj5E_96mhY4hY92eNYiDWRf0pGo4hiyEXeOxPq1N-eynUQcH62Mk

 

That popped up on my Facebook feed yesterday, but I'll admit that I didn't watch it. 😄

 

I had a mare of a day around Barnstaple yesterday on the stupid mediaeval farm tracks. A total of about 1/2 mile of uphill single track lane reversing (because it's nearly always faster for me to do it than to determine whether they can or not). I ended up cross cambered in a pull-in at one stage too, drive wheel in the air. Fun times.

 

Added to that was my tractor driver moving the forwarder, who missed the turnaround spot just past my site and somehow shoehorned a 55ft long rig (trailer and tractor) all the way to the top of a very narrow lane. Fortunately the house at the top were really friendly and we got turned in the field. That was an unnecessary 1 1/4 mile walk to find a lost tractor. 

 

I am fully aware that I should have realised what life would be like, working in this backwater that the 20th century somehow missed. It doesn't make it any less ridiculous though.

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19 minutes ago, Big J said:

 

That popped up on my Facebook feed yesterday, but I'll admit that I didn't watch it. 😄

 

I had a mare of a day around Barnstaple yesterday on the stupid mediaeval farm tracks. A total of about 1/2 mile of uphill single track lane reversing (because it's nearly always faster for me to do it than to determine whether they can or not). I ended up cross cambered in a pull-in at one stage too, drive wheel in the air. Fun times.

 

Added to that was my tractor driver moving the forwarder, who missed the turnaround spot just past my site and somehow shoehorned a 55ft long rig (trailer and tractor) all the way to the top of a very narrow lane. Fortunately the house at the top were really friendly and we got turned in the field. That was an unnecessary 1 1/4 mile walk to find a lost tractor. 

 

I am fully aware that I should have realised what life would be like, working in this backwater that the 20th century somehow missed. It doesn't make it any less ridiculous though.

I had a beauty on Sunday. 
 

The ubiquitous narrow high side lane and a ‘visitor’ in a BMW. As 2 more cars pulled up behind him, from the same party, you could see the relief on his face as he gesticulated that I should reverse because he was 1 of 3. That got quite funny as he frantically waved 3 fingers at me. 
 

His attempt to reverse literally the 2m (compared to the 1000m I knew I’d have to go) to the spot where we could pass was both painful and hilarious to watch. 
 

I just smiled as he hurled insults as I passed. 
 

Soon be back to ‘normal.’

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23 minutes ago, kevinjohnsonmbe said:

I had a beauty on Sunday. 
 

The ubiquitous narrow high side lane and a ‘visitor’ in a BMW. As 2 more cars pulled up behind him, from the same party, you could see the relief on his face as he gesticulated that I should reverse because he was 1 of 3. That got quite funny as he frantically waved 3 fingers at me. 
 

His attempt to reverse literally the 2m (compared to the 1000m I knew I’d have to go) to the spot where we could pass was both painful and hilarious to watch. 
 

I just smiled as he hurled insults as I passed. 
 

Soon be back to ‘normal.’

 

It is just painful to watch some people trying to reverse. It's not just the tourists either. The chap that hit me a couple of years ago when I had the 4x4 Sprinter lives in the valley where I met him, and chatting to his landlord we concluded he'd won his licence in a raffle.

 

I just go with the principle that if I'm dotting about in my Berlingo, I'm going to be able to reverse quicker than 99% of the people I meet, so rather than watch them weave around awkwardly, I just pop it into reverse and suck it up. 

 

I actually have to laugh sometimes (out loud) out how ridiculously awful journeys can be. Moving the forwarder yesterday, it was only going 4 miles as the crow flies. Shortest route through the lanes is 7 miles. It's about 12 miles via Barnstaple. I went through the lanes and the tractor went through Barnstaple. The tractor actually beat me. 

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4 hours ago, kevinjohnsonmbe said:

I think there's more to this than may immediately be apparent:

 


A rubber fetishist takes to the streets in a 'gimp suit' in an attempt to challenge stereotypes and raise money.

 

@the village idiot Is that you?

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Get it all the time were I live people coming to farm shop, had 1 how just kept pointing finger to get me to reverse which I took no notice of then she went to drive closer, at which point a reach for ignition key and switched off then got lunch box out of bag at sat it on dashboard as it was 1 o'clock instent result. Then I found out why she did not want to. 

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1 hour ago, woody paul said:

Get it all the time were I live people coming to farm shop, had 1 how just kept pointing finger to get me to reverse which I took no notice of then she went to drive closer, at which point a reach for ignition key and switched off then got lunch box out of bag at sat it on dashboard as it was 1 o'clock instent result. Then I found out why she did not want to. 

I had similar two days ago. Car coming the other way, she stops, I stop. All she had to do was back back three metres and we could both have passed. I'm only in the Corsa van, but I've just come round a blind bend.

 

Anyway, she starts waving her hand at me like she's the queen, telling me to go back. The only back she gets is mine, up. One finger. She looks furious, and waves harder. This time she gets one finger on each hand. Then, she gets out to shout at me. Only problem is, she's not put the handbrake on! She scrambles to get back in.🤣 I was in tears of laughter. At this point, I though '**************** it' and reversed back, crossing over the blind corner into a farm track the other side of the road. She pulls across in front of me, still furious. Luckily, she's such a poor judge of space that she's left enough room for me to get down the side of her. I say luckily, because I would quite happily have shunted her car out of the way when she tried to block me in.

 

On the same blind corner, last week, this happened. Woman driver (fact, not opinion 🙄) came round the corner too fast bit fast, and then pannicked. Instead of the brakes, she stomps on the accelerator. Kickdown did it's thing, the traction control performed superbly, and she almost managed to get past my old man coming the other way (who'd stopped dead as he saw her coming round the corner.

 

I always wondered why all these dozy bints who can't drive needed a 4x4. She almost made it past!

 

 

2021-08-01 16.30.19.jpg

Screenshot 2021-08-11 at 15.49.34.png

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6 hours ago, Big J said:

 

That popped up on my Facebook feed yesterday, but I'll admit that I didn't watch it. 😄

 

I had a mare of a day around Barnstaple yesterday on the stupid mediaeval farm tracks. A total of about 1/2 mile of uphill single track lane reversing (because it's nearly always faster for me to do it than to determine whether they can or not). I ended up cross cambered in a pull-in at one stage too, drive wheel in the air. Fun times.

 

Added to that was my tractor driver moving the forwarder, who missed the turnaround spot just past my site and somehow shoehorned a 55ft long rig (trailer and tractor) all the way to the top of a very narrow lane. Fortunately the house at the top were really friendly and we got turned in the field. That was an unnecessary 1 1/4 mile walk to find a lost tractor. 

 

I am fully aware that I should have realised what life would be like, working in this backwater that the 20th century somehow missed. It doesn't make it any less ridiculous though.

Not just bad down here J, wifey is at M5/M6 interchange around Brum, 1 hour to move 6 miles 🤯. Whilst she’s on domestic travel, wouldn’t want to try and run a business under those kind of conditions. Guess it becomes ‘normal’ if yome forced to get used to it?

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3 hours ago, woody paul said:

Get it all the time were I live people coming to farm shop, had 1 how just kept pointing finger to get me to reverse which I took no notice of then she went to drive closer, at which point a reach for ignition key and switched off then got lunch box out of bag at sat it on dashboard as it was 1 o'clock instent result. Then I found out why she did not want to. 

One of my funniest experiences....

 

Narrow lanes, I’m driving wife’s little car, meets peroxide blonde puma in a shiny new (what do they call that little hairdressers Land Rover?) Can’t remember. 
 

She gets all animated with the wavy finger thing because she doesn’t want to pull in to the edge and risk hedge rash, I pull in and say come on through, you could get a bus through there, she’s aving none of it. 
 

It was only when she said you can move that shitty little car, I’m not scraping this that caused the hackles to really go up. 
 

I politely suggested you could get a bus through there and questioned her suitability / eligibility to be driving whilst physically standing arms spread in the space she needed to drive through. 
 

Her husband said nothing. Son got out of the back and puffed up like a bantam. That’s not going to help...

 

Eventually, after several drivers indicated her stupidity she ‘squeezed’ through. 
 

2 cars behind her there actually WAS a bus and he glided through easily as well 😂

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in a lorry I met a guy driving a Jag  who entered the narrow stretch of road rather than pulling up where it was wider ,  and he insisted I went back ...which I did as it was not far and easy ...but very slowly ....and then left him ...juuussstt enough room to squeeze by which he was not happy about and as he was next to me I looked down on him from my open window and said ..." be careful not to scratch my lorry "  he really went off on one and called me a fat c..t  ( I am about 10 1/2/ stone and 5.10 )  he went even redder when I laughed at him !!

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