Dave Martin

Apart from being a professional layabout, womaniser and generally very good at telling other people what to do I was in the petrol station business from the age of 18, self employed from 21 owned from 1 to 4 at any one time, did several knockdown rebuilds so I suppose the answer is retail and property speculation, both of which are the biggest casualties of the current recession

£15 a cube sounds verrrrrry generous Dave.

I have had and burnt quite alot of tree of heaven and its good firewood.

Actually I have seriously been considering selling `decorative logs`. I have logs in my house which are left to crack and age and just look pretty.

I still light both of mine in the evening Jon ... my house is one of those thats colder inside than out.

And your two penneth worth is much appreciated Joy. Your post has highlighted allot of the options that I am debating. As I have mentioned before I have been an employer in a previous business and it was always my policy to pay people what they were worth from minimum wage to a good salary with a company car to lock them in, but lets face it we all know that more often than not employing someone creates many problems but its a business that I would like to keep going but cant afford to devote so much of my time to.

Thats right Steve, my turnover ( only started selling last November ) does not justify a full time member of staff but I have come to realise that I am spending to much time on logs and not enough time on trying to earn a serious income. I operate my Firewood business from home and have invested a fair bit into it in the way of a building and machinery etc. and I am confident that it will be a success and earn money up to a certain level but everyone keeps telling me that labouring chopping logs is not where my talents lie. I feel that it will soon be time for me to pull back from the physical side of the logs a little in order to concentrate on other things in addition to marketing the firewood better..... and also Steve when you comment on your age I am older and no one works at the pace that I do and for as long

Its the Queen who does it for me with that cute girlish smile.

My son has been helping me as and when needed prior to going to university but the time has come when I seriously need to look to employing someone on a more serious basis over the winter months or maybe even before. They will need to be able to drive a delivery truck and operate splitters and saws. It might be full time or maybe just three days a week. I am based in the midlands, what would you suggest as an hourly rate? How many employees do you have in your Firewood business? AND I am aware that this is when the trouble start

Which village was that ?

Put some pics up Jon

Good grief, you must be hard. We went to my sons boxing instuctors sixtieth at the Crib in Ripley and had to interrupt a fight to ask directions and then duck under the flailing fists outside the door to walk in

Storage is not a problem cos I have lots of space but with stock coming in weekly they should never be empty for long. As for emptying I only sell in Barrow Bags so thats not a problem.

Teachers & Cops: These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, boy, are these funny!) 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed. 3. Your child has delusions of adequacy. 4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...) 5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them. 6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together. 7. This child has been working with glue too much. 8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell. 9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.. 10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week. 11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others. 12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead. These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: 1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through." 2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while." 3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document." 4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired." 5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you." (LOVE IT) 6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?" (MY FAVORITE) 7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?" 8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket." 9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?" 10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop." 11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven." 12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center ) 13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?" 14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can." 15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail." AND THE WINNER IS.... 16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

or better still

I made the same mistake last year by stacking sycamore to close together in the vented bags and they developed a white mould.

Takes ages to season though.

Would Broomfield in Derby not be closer?

Whilst I have no experience of this I was always told to use a cigarette to make them let go.

I sell quality ( grade 3&4 hardwoods ) unseasoned at £150 for 10 Barrow bags.

I would describe it as dribbling out now Jon .... I think its just about had it for this season.

My wood burns and my competitors doesnt

The secret to treating hay fever is to start taking the medication about a month or so before you expect it to start and then keep taking it throughout the season whether you have symptoms or not. It is useless to take it once you are sneezing. I use Beconase nasal spray EVERY evening and that works for me.

Every so often I like to watch `Harvey` seems to make it ok to talk to myself

Whilst its not a film The Sopranos was a true work of art.