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Every single morning!


Mick Dempsey
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3 hours ago, Mick Dempsey said:

The middle of the night pee is the part of it I suppose.

You try and fool yourself that you’ll get back to sleep quickly, rarely happens of course.

I get up in the middle of the night for a pee, I'm back asleep before I'm laid back down. I hate being tired and not being able to sleep.

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So arrived at gate to right of way leading to wood. Unlocked and closed it behind me, all good. Get down to wood gate 60 yards away passing neighbour who is clearing manure pile with two spreaders. Friendly waves all round. Go to get out of cab of tractor where the **** did I put the gate keys. Just used them, not on cab floor, not in pockets, not in little cubby hole under seat. Rats must have dropped them by gate so walk  60 yards back search all round - no joy. Must have left them in cab after all 60 yards back to tractor another search no joy, back to gate again still no luck back to tractor get in cab thinking wtf do I do now? Another search and aha hiding behind the third service levers on the mudguard ??? how did they get there?? Nonchalantly get out of cab to unlock gate trying not to look at neighbour but you just have to don't you and yes he and his two lads all laughing their round objects off. Oh to be young again and have all my faculties back.

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I often wake up filled with anxiety.

I go downstairs and raid the fridge.

All the time trying to get to the bottom of my fears.

I return to bed and lie there wide awake trying to work out the source of my current anxiety.

Then the alarm goes off.

Repeat.

   Stuart

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6 minutes ago, Ty Korrigan said:

I often wake up filled with anxiety.

I go downstairs and raid the fridge.

All the time trying to get to the bottom of my fears.

I return to bed and lie there wide awake trying to work out the source of my current anxiety.

Then the alarm goes off.

Repeat.

   Stuart

It’s your chipper. 

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  • 1 month later...

I think it will only get worse with age. Probably belongs in jokes but here goes.
Old lad gets up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, on his way back to bed he wakes the missus up and say’s ‘do you know the lights come on automatically in the bathroom?’

She replied’ you daft bastard, you’ve pissed in the fridge again haven’t you?’

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