Depression

[Boy]

After the death of my mother 7 years ago I had depression pretty much continuously for  6 years. Worst period in my life. Couldn't/ didn't want to do anything, everyday was like living in an old faded colour photograph life being dull and  having no point or reason to live. Getting a good diet and regular exercise be it pulling weights or my favourite walking the dog helps more than you will know. I've been 'free' for  year now and still have down days now and then but they are no where near the depths of what I went through. Just hang in there and it will go away. 

[Boy]

Thank you Big J! It's been a hell of a ride but all seems well now. The hard part is that its a personal thing and what works for one of us doesnt have the same effect on someone else. This forum is a great way for us to open up about problems to people we may consider as being mates. 

[dan blocker]

Not sure why I clicked on this thread?. Lost a real good mate several years ago and I didn’t see it coming. The fact that you blokes Big J and Boy and others are posting on here is a big start to addressing your issues. I’ve got real “pissed off” a few times but was it depression? I’m not qualified to say however I probably know myself better than any body else, except my misses who knows me real well, and can read me like a book, and knows what I’m thinking before I do?.
Big J it seems like the weather is a big factor in your shit days, haven’t exactly picked a good area to relocate to. Especially for your line of business, timber Harvesting and extraction isn’t exactly a walk in the park in slippers is it?. You blokes create mud when there hasn’t been any seen for centuries?. You appear busy though and pushing on with more kit so it can’t all be bad.

The biggest thing chaps is to talk to others about any issues we have, don’t bottle it up, one day the bloody cork will pop?. Posting on here is one step from a tel call to a mate or even better a face to face?.
I had no idea my mate had any issues, I hadn’t seen him for a couple of weeks and the last thing I said to him was we’ll meet for a brew and catch up?. He left a wife and kids? It turns out my mate was a right selfish twat after all wasn’t he?

[eggsarascal]

I started this thread and I can tell you without any doubt you be would depressed wherever you were living/working. One occasion when I was suffering I had nothing to worry about, nothing!, I still fell into a dark place. All I could do was sit it out. It's a Bastard.

 

Try to keep your chin up J, I know it's easier said than done, but with a bit of luck it will soon pass.

Edited October 30, 2020 by eggsarascal

[djbobbins]

Mine is a mix of work and personal stuff. Worst time I had was about 8 years ago - I’d been on a secondment to Germany, moved the wife and kids over there, then the company pulled the rug on it only about six weeks after the family moved.

I’d moved to that job from a role I really liked, thinking it was the right thing to do. I ended up moving back to the U.K. into a job I wasn’t experienced enough to do, had no team and a manager who was useless. Blamed myself a lot for things that weren’t of my doing.

I got through that but only after another person at work dragged me into a different job. In the intervening 8 months I’d lost nearly 3 stone and been prescribed by my doc for sleeping tablets and Prozac. The only reason I didn’t do anything daft was because I didn’t want to leave my wife with two young kids. Fortunately the new job worked out, I got back to being able to sleep and enjoying what I did. I stopped the Prozac after about 7 months.

It’s hard to find the right words to describe it, but the best way I can think of saying it is that since then I feel like I’ve “broken the seal”. I haven’t been back on prescription meds, thankfully, but I have a heightened sense of what could happen and in a way I think that some issues which I would have brushed off 10 years ago will now cause me stress and sleepless nights. In turn that’s a bit of a vicious circle - waking up at 3am and worrying about work means I’m tired and sub-par the next day - so more risk of mistakes, forgetfulness etc.

Not sure any of this helps you folks out there - but although exercise helps a bit (walking, cycling sometimes) I also find mindfulness really helpful. We had a big of a mantra at work - getting to the end of the day and consciously reflecting on:

- what went well?
- what am I thankful for?
- what did I enjoy?


Even if some of the things are really trivial, the act of consciously considering these things helps.

[topchippyles]

I have turned to drink in the past and its a way to cope but its a depression in its self. Life can be a real uphill struggle at times for sure.

[Matthew Storrs]

23 hours ago, Rough Hewn said:

Northern Dartmoor is piss wet all year.
Southern Devon, or eastern or western are lovely.
Just avoid Dartmoor and exmoor.
I grew up there.
Still got wet socks....

Haha! I live in Princetown which is just about the pits weather wise. There’s a reason they stuck a prison here- the land wasn’t much good for anything else.

ive coped/put up with it for 10 years, but then I grew up on one of the highest farms on Dartmoor- rain is just part of life up here- much like other upland areas- Wales etc.

 

@Big J I totally understand where your coming from, endlessly trudging out into the gloom fighting mud mud mud. For me the only way I can work with it is to keep my out goings as low as I can and don’t employ anyone so I have a degree of flexibility working around the weather- I used to just go out in it day after day when I started my buisness, but now I’d sooner work the weekend if it means avoiding the wet, not that it helps ground conditions of course as that won’t dry until spring now.

it all takes it’s toll on both body and mind, it’s pretty tiring battling against elements all the time. 
personally though, I would struggle to move to a agriculturally landlocked area like I consider the lowlands to be, I find field after field with nowhere to really walk except designated footpaths pretty depressing tbh- give me the wild Rainswept hills of Dartmoor any day.

[Rough Hewn]

When you grow up on Dartmoor,
Everywhere else has great weather!
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[IronMike]

Hello matey!

 

Ah, the joys of the weather on our little island. Being from the Lakes originally, I’ve grown up in some pretty persistent and crap weather. It’s very frustrating! Not a lot can be done about it unfortunately, aside from having several sets of waterproofs to change into and a good supply of coffee! 
 

Jokes aside, my brother suffered from depression. Well he still does a wee bit, but not as bad as he has done previously. I myself faced some very dark times when I was younger, not sure I’d say I was depressed myself, which likely means I was? Anyway, one bit of advice I was given by a community psychiatric nurse was to adopt a mentality using the circle of concern and The circle of influence. Now the circle of concern is big and wide reaching. It’s ok to be concerned about a whole manner of things.... Covid, brexit, husky or Stihl etc etc. Most things in life you face will be in your circle of concern. The circle of influence is much smaller, and rightly so. You can only influence a certain amount of things, and it here you need to focus your energy and thoughts on. 
 

I literally reprogrammed by brain to quickly assess anything I’m presented with, it then channels that into one of the two circles. It changed my life. I stop dwelling, I don’t catastrophise or ruminate, I simply decide if there is anything I can do about said thing to directly influence it. If I can’t, it goes into my circle of concern.

 

It sounds easy But took some time to master fully. And don’t get me wrong, there are times when my brain wanders but generally speaking it stays focused. My brother said that me explains that to him and helping him was the most valuable thing he did in battling his own depression. I should’ve charged him ?

 

I know everyone is different though, and what works for one may not work for another. My other half has tried all sorts, but is still an anxiety riddled mess who struggles to get through a day intact. I’ve tried to get her to take my advice onboard but is uninterested in trying. She wants help, but won’t take it, what’s a man supposed to do?! 
 

I really hope you can make sense of it all soon. The family move sounds like it has potential. Something to plan towards at least. 
 

I’ll catch up with you soon to discuss processor also! Still extremely keen! 
 

 

Edited October 31, 2020 by IronMike
Spelling

[Gerbutt]

Try this https://youtu.be/EI8YBilXvc0

 

If you do as he says and practice it you’ll see the mind from a different place.

 

Please do try it ?