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Depression


eggsarascal
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I find it so hard to moderate myself in terms of swinging between highs and lows. The obsessive compulsive aspect of my personality means I can at times be quite driven and do a lot in a short period of time. And then on the flipside, I'll sometimes struggle to move for days on end, just retreating into myself and wanting to be left entirely alone. 

 

The weather is the focus of my issues because it creates the biggest complications for me. I've determined that I need absolute order in my life, insofar as to say, I'm very, very good at skilled repetitive work. So I was much faster on the sawmill (and it's bank of hydraulic controls for long handling) than either of the guys that bought my business. I'm very good at forwarding, and I was also extremely good at self select handwood thinning. 

 

It's when things go wrong that struggle. So mechanical breakdowns and weather, being let down by other people, that sort of thing. Breakdowns are unavoidable and expected, but when you look at climate data for SW England, historically, it hasn't rained 4 days in 5 from Sept-March. It did last year and it's headed that way this year. 

 

I've met some wonderful people down here in Devon, truly and for many people it's a great place to live. For us though, we struggle (me more than my family, I'll admit). We've decided to move to Sweden in spring 2022 and we're zeroing in on a couple of areas that we really like and want to explore further. You have to do what makes you happy and not living in the full force of the wrath of the Atlantic is something that'll really help. There are obviously a whole bunch of other reasons too (almost too many to list) but the weather is a big one for me. 

(as a point aside, my wife just this moment came back in from 60 seconds outside getting something from the car. She took at umbrella and has still had to change her whole outer layer of clothing ? )

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23 hours ago, Rough Hewn said:

Northern Dartmoor is piss wet all year.
Southern Devon, or eastern or western are lovely.
Just avoid Dartmoor and exmoor.
I grew up there.
Still got wet socks....
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Haha! I live in Princetown which is just about the pits weather wise. There’s a reason they stuck a prison here- the land wasn’t much good for anything else.

ive coped/put up with it for 10 years, but then I grew up on one of the highest farms on Dartmoor- rain is just part of life up here- much like other upland areas- Wales etc.

 

@Big J I totally understand where your coming from, endlessly trudging out into the gloom fighting mud mud mud. For me the only way I can work with it is to keep my out goings as low as I can and don’t employ anyone so I have a degree of flexibility working around the weather- I used to just go out in it day after day when I started my buisness, but now I’d sooner work the weekend if it means avoiding the wet, not that it helps ground conditions of course as that won’t dry until spring now.

it all takes it’s toll on both body and mind, it’s pretty tiring battling against elements all the time. 
personally though, I would struggle to move to a agriculturally landlocked area like I consider the lowlands to be, I find field after field with nowhere to really walk except designated footpaths pretty depressing tbh- give me the wild Rainswept hills of Dartmoor any day.

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2 minutes ago, Matthew Storrs said:

Haha! I live in Princetown which is just about the pits weather wise. There’s a reason they stuck a prison here- the land wasn’t much good for anything else.

ive coped/put up with it for 10 years, but then I grew up on one of the highest farms on Dartmoor- rain is just part of life up here- much like other upland areas- Wales etc.

 

@Big J I totally understand where your coming from, endlessly trudging out into the gloom fighting mud mud mud. For me the only way I can work with it is to keep my out goings as low as I can and don’t employ anyone so I have a degree of flexibility working around the weather- I used to just go out in it day after day when I started my buisness, but now I’d sooner work the weekend if it means avoiding the wet, not that it helps ground conditions of course as that won’t dry until spring now.

it all takes it’s toll on both body and mind, it’s pretty tiring battling against elements all the time. 
personally though, I would struggle to move to a agriculturally landlocked area like I consider the lowlands to be, I find field after field with nowhere to really walk except designated footpaths pretty depressing tbh- give me the wild Rainswept hills of Dartmoor any day.

It's funny you say that because to an extent I agree. I was chatting to Beau about it yesterday and I said I envied him for having immediate access to the moors. Here, there is nowhere to go walking at all. We have a bridleway that intersects our lane, but it doesn't go anywhere and any walk always involves a significant amount of road walking or trespassing. The lanes aren't any fun to walk either as there is plenty of traffic, including tractors which take up every inch of the lane (which is intimidating with young children and a dog). 

 

Give me the wilds of the moors any day.

 

 

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Hello matey!

 

Ah, the joys of the weather on our little island. Being from the Lakes originally, I’ve grown up in some pretty persistent and crap weather. It’s very frustrating! Not a lot can be done about it unfortunately, aside from having several sets of waterproofs to change into and a good supply of coffee! 
 

Jokes aside, my brother suffered from depression. Well he still does a wee bit, but not as bad as he has done previously. I myself faced some very dark times when I was younger, not sure I’d say I was depressed myself, which likely means I was? Anyway, one bit of advice I was given by a community psychiatric nurse was to adopt a mentality using the circle of concern and The circle of influence. Now the circle of concern is big and wide reaching. It’s ok to be concerned about a whole manner of things.... Covid, brexit, husky or Stihl etc etc. Most things in life you face will be in your circle of concern. The circle of influence is much smaller, and rightly so. You can only influence a certain amount of things, and it here you need to focus your energy and thoughts on. 
 

I literally reprogrammed by brain to quickly assess anything I’m presented with, it then channels that into one of the two circles. It changed my life. I stop dwelling, I don’t catastrophise or ruminate, I simply decide if there is anything I can do about said thing to directly influence it. If I can’t, it goes into my circle of concern.

 

It sounds easy But took some time to master fully. And don’t get me wrong, there are times when my brain wanders but generally speaking it stays focused. My brother said that me explains that to him and helping him was the most valuable thing he did in battling his own depression. I should’ve charged him ?

 

I know everyone is different though, and what works for one may not work for another. My other half has tried all sorts, but is still an anxiety riddled mess who struggles to get through a day intact. I’ve tried to get her to take my advice onboard but is uninterested in trying. She wants help, but won’t take it, what’s a man supposed to do?! 
 

I really hope you can make sense of it all soon. The family move sounds like it has potential. Something to plan towards at least. 
 

I’ll catch up with you soon to discuss processor also! Still extremely keen! 
 

 

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2 hours ago, Matthew Storrs said:

I would struggle to move to a agriculturally landlocked area like I consider the lowlands to be, I find field after field with nowhere to really walk except designated footpaths pretty depressing tbh- give me the wild Rainswept hills of Dartmoor any day.

This is much as I saw it in the Tiverton area and why public open space is so important to me, even more so with worries over walkers and livestock meaning many open paths are being fenced in in my area.

 

Funnily enough it is the location in rail commuting distance of london that meant farming fell into decline early in my area, as a result there is a lot publicly accessible openspace for walkers on commons, that were never enclosed, MOD "dry" training areas  and woodlands owned by the National Trust, Woodland Trust and Forestry commission. Plus one notable family in the Surrey hills made their land accessible many years ago, I started work on one of their woodlands open to the public in 1974.

 

Unfortunately in the 80s the FC did sell off substantial areas which previously the public walked but without access rights which was a big mistake in my mind.

 

As to being borderline bipolar @Big J it's just to one side of being "normal", so with the manic phases predominating in youth meaning great feats are achievable as I get older  the depressive state overtakes...

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