Rough Hewn

Cleanest smut I've read in ages. [emoji12][emoji106]

A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend. They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal. Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time. Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers. Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter. Dear Maggie, I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which are easier to remove). These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly noticed any marks. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed to wash it since she began wearing them. I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because they will be naturally a little damp from wearing. Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on our next date. All my love, Chris P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing. [emoji12][emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]

Yeah the 7.5ton Fuso's are great arb trucks. [emoji106]

I've used the stihl petrol extending pole saw and the electric one. The petrol one has more power and the electric one is more unbalanced due to the motor on the cutting head. However I'd choose the electric version in future as no exhaust,petrol, or burns to my crotch. [emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]

The scanner guy and I had discussed the dubious disappearance on Thursday, especially the bull about the cctv. Then on Friday when he gave it back, the look on the scanner guys face... [emoji51][emoji51][emoji51]

Sorry to hear that James. We had an odd one this week. Working clearing trees on a site in central Manchester, All fenced off and inside gated car park for flats. The guy who scans for cables pipes etc had his stuff nicked on Wednesday morning on site. Which is odd, as our team are really twitchy and keep a good eye out. We saw no one. The detector guy asks the caretaker to see the cctv footage. Caretaker says they aren't cameras but sensors for the lights. Bullshot. On Friday morning, the caretaker turns up with all this guys kit. "I found these in my office, don't know who put them there" he says. Lying ****er. It isn't always junkie, pitey types. [emoji51]

I don't get ill, except for flu. Wipes me out for 5-7 days, can't eat or sleep. Then just messed up for another 5-10 days. The worse part is when someone says "oh you have a cold". I thought I had a cold in Indonesia once. Turned out it was dengue fever. [emoji51]

For big or gnarly wood I use a felling axe in left hand and a huge mallet with my right. Just don't use a metal sledgehammer! [emoji106]

Had a job to lift a tree of heaven, loads of branches overhanging clients new garden office. CA, no tpo. Spoke with the owner who said. "Yes that's fine, but the last tree surgeon who pruned the tree caused root die back which collapsed the Victorian sewer underneath. Which you will be liable for". Branches are still growing... [emoji51]

TWO HUNTERS Paddy and Mick, got a pilot to fly them to northern Canada where they could hunt Moose. They managed to bag six Moose. But as they were loading the plane, the pilot said he could carry only four Moose. The two lads objected strongly, “Last year we got six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours.” Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six Moose were loaded. However, on take-off, the little plane couldn’t handle the load and went down, crashing into the wilderness. Somehow, Paddy and Mick survived the crash, and climbed out of the wreckage. Paddy asked Mick, “Any idea where we are?” “I think we are pretty close to where we crashed last year.”

Only two problems 1 no on/off button 2 needs a "low oil" light

Stihl msa200 No exhaust Less noise No pull cord No petrol Cuts faster than you'd imagine it should. Love mine Electrickery... Tis the future [emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]

My local dealers has one of the top stihl registered mechanics in the country. He'd never seen a 661 or 880 until I bought one. When I had a collection, and I couldn't figure out how to fix it, I'd phone@wonky. He has two sheds! [emoji106][emoji106][emoji106]

What ported saws do you use? Ever had any HSE issues with ported saws on site? [emoji106]

The ms500i in the video was a little bit disappointing. Although it revved to about 13/14k, it dropped to 10k in the wood. On the plus side it was surprisingly light weight. [emoji106]