Mark Bolam

@RobD

Lister Wilder in Ashford do them if you don't mind a bit of a trek.

Anyone who works should be able to buy a house if they want. The problem I see is entitlement. My first statement doesn’t mean everyone can immediately buy a house exactly where they want.

It’s probably the most positive outcome we could have expected. Thanks for keeping us informed Paul. It still grates on me though that the HSE are approaching it from the wrong direction, trying to make the industry safer by picking on the guys who are at least trying to do it right. If they targeted the caravan dwellers and unticketed uninsured cowboys and wiped them off the arb map the whole industry would benefit. Revenue would improve, training and standards would improve, so safety would improve. We’re all sick of accident statistics lumping every fuckwit who cuts his arm off with his eBay saw after his ladder slips as a ‘tree surgeon’. Sort it out HSE, there’s a whole world of oven ready prosecutions, and revenue from fines, out there for the taking. IF you grow some balls.

If only mate! Could be a lot worse, mind. It's only a day of your life that will be GONE FOREVER!

You still have to do the 1-day ROLO course.

Woodland management this, eco-system that. What is the best generator to power a few big speakers, and where is the best place to put the hot-tub?

I’ve pollarded birches Stu, needs must when the devil drives and the customer is a total fuckwit. Arb morals and £3 will get you a cup of coffee these days. I like to think I try more than most though.

Stu, nearly 100% of whatever ‘reductions’ we do are for the benefit of people, not trees. I’m a big fan of leaving them be where possible. Or killing them. I always try and educate the client, and walking away is always an option.

It will be an interesting project mate. Keep us updated please.

That’s where it’s gone wrong Matty. We would have been beaten for dropping litter, it’s just not something you even thought about doing.

Funny how the winning bid is pretty much exactly half Ben. Maybe they will climb on one rope....

They were just future-proofing their jobs Ben.

Haha, funnily enough I picked it out the drawer last week mate, then thought ‘Na, not cold enough!’.

Jurgen Klopp flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi boy play football. Kloppy is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only 20 minutes left, Klopp gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Liverpool. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the lad comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in English football. 'Hello mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.' 'Wonderful,' says his mum, 'Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten up and now your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time.' The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say mum, but I'm really sorry..' 'Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!' screams his mum, 'it's your fucking fault we came to Liverpool in the first place!'

Etesias always seem to get great reviews and have Kawasaki engines as well.

I never get it when someone specs pollarding a manky lombardy. It's like wiping half your arse.

Looks like it’s covering all the bases for you mate, nice one!

Another point. I have never had an anchor point failure. I have cut/injured myself and self-rescued with one hand. I suspect most working climbers with years of experience might be the same. I was pretty glad I could do it with one hand. Any comment HSE? I’m sure you are aware of this thread by now. There’s been enough time to grow a spine. I won’t be climbing on two ropes unless the situation deems it necessary, it will be the exception rather than the default.

Sometimes a more delicate touch is required, however. I’m pretty sure it was Spike Hunter who was Arbogrunt on here who was working in a Conservation Area with full permission. Mrs. Lady of the Manor pulls up and plays merry hell and asks what they think they’re doing? Spike was cool and professional as ever. She’s Head of the Roundtable this, Chair of the Parish Council that, yada yada yada etc. ’Well I haven’t been informed’. She then asked Spike the fatal question - ‘Do you know who I am?’. Spike being ex-para couldn’t resist answering - ‘Yes I do. Someone who obviously isn’t as important as they think they are’. Politely, of course.

Superb Simon. Finger pointing to chest, ‘Pollski’, muffs down, crack on.

Which it was!

Nice one mate. How is the new set up working out for you?

I thought it was trickier to fit in the charger as well Steve, and I'm pretty sure I didn't get the Makita bleep either! Small price to pay for a 2/3 saving though!