Job description/What they mean (Just for fun)

[difflock]

First to see will buy

no time wasters

honest old thing

[Mick Dempsey]

Yeah, no time wasters thing pisses me off. 

[djbobbins]

Got to agree with the comment about the clutch and trip to church... where I grew up there was an old Doris who couldn’t do a hill start at the junction up the road from the church. I kid you not, every week she used to get to the junction, park the car, wait for someone else to come up behind her and get them to drive her car out of the junction onto the larger road! People used to deliberately make sure they left before she did to avoid this dubious pleasure!!

Anyway, back on topic:

“dealing with stakeholders” = being the poor sod who gets it in the neck from joe public for everything that goes wrong / has to go to the neighbour and explain how sorry you are that you just put a chunk of timber through their garage roof

“looking for a self-starter” = pretty soon, if not on day 1, you will be lobbed in at the deep end with no-one to give you instructions

[eggsarascal]

This machine has earned me a fortune...... can't find any work for it.

[Shaff]

Ready for work.....

Yeh after a day in the workshop and a few hundred quid thrown at it. 

[eggsarascal]

What it should read is....... 2016 (insert favourite brand) wood chipper, low hours, and ready to go....... I tried setting up on my own and fell on my arse.

[WesD]

1,000,000 motorway miles - like there like dog years compared to town miles!!

[WesD]

Ex hire car - it’s been ragged by everyone who’s rented it!

[oldwoodcutter]

Need gone tonight . . . before the police come round here and give it back to its rightful owner

[Khriss]

"...pre 97 license" *= '  I can't be bothered to put my younger brash monkeys thru a proper trailer license an yr driving that lorry everywhere' k

 

*( which ain't even legal anyway)