Your worst ever worker (stories!)

[scbk]

My first "proper" job was a season at the council. There was an old boy there who would crack open the Tennents Super at 10am and be on it for the rest of the day!

[Mick Dempsey]

I had a recent employee who was on the phone A LOT.

 

After numerous gentle hints I lost it a bit and had a go, he snapped back 

 

 Some of us do have a life outside of work you know!

 

That is a true story.

Edited October 20, 2017 by Mick Dempsey

[Mesterh]

9 hours ago, skyhuck said:

I once worked with a lad, I was subby climbing, he was grounding. While doing the final clear up he was shovelling up sawdust into a wheelbarrow, but the barrow was few feet from where he was shovelling, so he kept dropping bits where I had swept.

 

Sarcastically I said "why don't you move the barrow a bit further away".......................................HE DID!!!       I was speechless 

 

Apparently he had previously worked in a pot-noodle factory, he held the pot while two other people put different things in the pot, he was replaced by a table. 

That last bit about being replaced by a table is priceless.

 

[matelot]

I worked with someone that never showed up for work one week and he was never seen again. 6 months later we got a call from Edinburgh Airport saying "could you remove your car and pay for the 6 months of parking". He'd just driven to the airport, got on a plane and left..

 

2 years later I saw him on another site and he just left as well.

 

PS. Before anyone says, no it wasn't because I was working with him.

[Stubby]

Had a regular client for tree work and she had a regular gardener who was a friend of ours .  Got called to a fallen tree at her house that had crashed through next doors shed and the boundary wall .  We duly cleared up . There was a big problem with  the insurance .  We found out later that our friend the gardener told the neighbor " I have been on about that tree for years . I said it would fall down "  Bless him .

Edited October 20, 2017 by Stubby

[richy_B]

Had a regular client for tree work and she had a regular gardener who was a friend of ours .  Got called to a fallen tree at her house that had crashed through next doors shed and the boundary wall .  We duly cleared up . There was a big problem with  the insurance .  We found out later that our friend the gardener told the neighbor " I have been on about that tree for years . I said it would fall down "  Bless him .

Got to love a worker who doesn't know when to keep their mouth shut! We were planting some street trees and a resident came out. 'These don't grow too large do they?' , labourer said told them they ones are huge, 50 metres or so he thought. Queue an onslaught of angry residents. We were planting a row of prunus nigra on a verge on a wide road. I have no idea where the wally got 50 metres. The answer to all questions is - my boss is over there, I'll get him for you.

[kimtree]

i had a chap work for me once who i thought was a decent worker when he was working for someone else however i discovered that he would go into ultra slow mode when he thought he wasn't being seen.turns out he had taken the piss at his previous employment as well

i ended up giving him two goes but he was just effing useless

[kevinjohnsonmbe]

Poor “employees” getting a bashing here, to turn the tables a bit....

 

Thursday & Friday I’d agreed to sub in for climbing to a nearby outfit for some big stuff on a development site.

 

Met the site Arb consultant who assured that all relevant consents & permissions were in place (including urgent felling)

 

Quick online check - you guessed it! Complete [emoji243][emoji90]

 

Had an “I’m really annoyed” phone call today asking why no work on site....

 

Replied with “You’re annoyed? Do you recall telling me yesterday that you had all necessary consents??”

 

“I’ve submitted the 5 day notice this morning, can you please get on with it?”

 

“No, you lied and your 5 day notice is invalid because you’re quoting a limb failure that happened over a month ago as an immediate justification for felling a tree when (a) you said you already had permission (b) crown reduction not felling is sufficient to ameliorate the hazard and [emoji767] it’s hardly immediate if the limb failure occurred over a month ago and you’re only worried now the winds picking up!

 

 https://youtu.be/11ZkH2pWwK4

 

 

PS. Banging Friday toon!

 

[eggsarascal]

Had similar last week Mr Johnson, not lied to, just a feck up. Company I do some work for rang me on Monday to ask me if I could fit a job in later in the week, me, 'yep, when do you want it doing?', 'Not sure yet Egg, but pencil in Thursday, I'll speak to the client then get back to you'.

 

No contact until Thursday afternoon, Them, 'are you doing that job today?', me, 'you never got back to me to confirm the job'. So, the answer was 'no I'm not doing it today'. As it happened I was free on Friday to travel 60 miles to do the job.

 

It works both ways.....

 

 

[Bustergasket]

i had a new lad start and we needed some nice straight grained ash logs splitting, gave him the axe told him to be careful and sent him off to the log store for the house, went to check on him about 30 mins later found him sweating, red faced, knackerd and sat down, i said where have you put the logs ? he said what logs ? the split logs... then i saw what remotely looked like an un split round which was hacked to death looked like he was about half way chopping through, i put the log on end and split it with one handed axe swing, he was chopping the the wrong way, he still is with me and i remind him every now and then !