I'm a bit baffled (only a bit mind) by those writing off medication?
I know it may "feel wrong" to "eat pills to sort out thoughts" but that's just misinformed reactionism.
The brain works in many mysterious ways, and chemicals play a very import role in it's functioning, readdressing a serious imbalance with chemicals taken in pills can really help sort you out.
I've suffered depression for many years, first saw a psychiatrist over 30 years ago (consider I've just turned 37...) and not too long ago I fell into the deepest trough I've known. Wanted to kill myself as my life was such a burden on myself and others, would have done so more than once, but coincidence saved me several times (I'd be dead now if it wasn't for my Dog!)
I was literally lying on the floor, crying for help but unable to actually go find some for a long time. Managed to drag myself to the GP, got happy pills, ate them, felt shite, numb, no more anxiety attacks but no joy either.
It was rough as, but by eating them I was able to explore other avenues of help, and then slowly wean myself off them again.
I'm now on top again, feeling better than ever. And though I really hated eating them I'd have not lived without their help.
Asking for help and advice, here, from friends/family, from your GP etc is an excellent begin to getting sorted. But nobody but you knows the actual solution.
Diet can play a massive role.
All the chemicals that regulate your brain have to be metabolised from the food you eat, so changes in food can make a big difference.
People's bodies absorb nutrients differently, therefore different diets can effect people in very different ways. And just like people get allergies where the body reacts to certain foods, some bodies are much more or less able to metabolise the nutrients taken in into the right balanced mix of chemicals needed for "normal" brain function.
To get this sorted solely through diet can work, but to find out exactly what your individual body needs is not easy. It is a vastly under-researched field of sience. Big pharma makes meds, Big Farma makes food and never the twain shall meet...
I can put you in touch with some people that can try to help you, psychologically or physically, pm me if you like.