West ham's new player!
The West Ham manager Sam Allardyce flies to Kabul to watch a young
Afghani play football. He is suitably impressed and arranges for the
player to come over.
Two weeks later West Ham are 2-0 down to
Manchester United with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the
young Afghani striker the nod, and on he goes.
The lad is a
sensation. He scores 3 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for the
Hammers. The fans are delighted, the players and the coach are
delighted and the media love the new star.
When the player comes
off the pitch he phones his Mum to tell her about his first day in
English football.
'Hello Mum, guess what?' he says 'I played for 20
minutes today, we were 2-0 down, but I scored 3. They call it a hat
trick, and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the Press, they all
love me.'
'Just wonderful' says his Mum, 'Let me tell you about
my day. Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were
ambushed and assaulted, she would have been raped except for a passing
police
vehicle.
Your brother has joined a local gang of looters
and set fire to some buildings and all while you tell me that you were
having a great time!'
The young lad is very upset. 'What can I say
Mum, but I'm really sorry'
'Sorry !!! Sorry !!!' says his Mum.
'It's your bloody fault that we came to West Ham in the first place'.