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About Shane

  • Rank
    Senior Member, Raffle Sponsor 2012, 2013
  • Birthday 10/07/1957

Personal Information

  • Location:
    Worthing Sussex
  • Interests
    Skiing, fixing Land Rover, Watching Portsmouth FC (well, somebody has to)
  • Occupation
    Tree surgeon
  • Post code
    BN11 5LT
  • City

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  1. Maybe the sort of people who are put off by such terms and conditions are the ones best avoided.
  2. Shane

    Pole saws

    couple of threaded eyes to the roof about 5 ft apart then use prussics and old carabiners through the eyes. If its an Echo pruner you have the added security of being able to thread your prussic through the 'loop' handle. For a time I had a length of soil pipe attached to the roof and a clip mechanism to hold the pruner in place, the engine had to hang out the back end but it was OK till the pipe clips broke. Keep it simple and as light as possible.
  3. Round our way in West Sussex it does seem like elms get to a certain diameter (around 20cm DBH) without any harm, then within a couple of years they have got DED. I've never seen a small elm die and never seen a large one survive round this way. My understanding has always been that the Brighton elms are allegedly protected from DED by the South downs to the N, E and W sides and the sea to the S. Whether or not they get pollarded may be due to other factors such as safety issues. Anybody know the TO for B&H council? Maybe get some info.
  4. Shane

    Firewood jokers

    I can't get worked up about these ads. They are just people with no idea of reality. The sort of 'gumby' who might be tempted is never going to be a long-term (or even short-term) threat to professional tree surgeons. How many of these chancers ever get a result? I'm concentrating on sensible customers enquiries.
  5. That's better than most CVs I receive from Groundsman applicants.
  6. She can move in with John Venables and lead private and protected existence for ever more. Maybe MI6 should keep an eye on the applicants for the 'Use of explosives to blow the shit out of tree stumps' course.
  7. Today I finally achieved my true standing. I received a letter from the Rt Hon The Lord Pickles. He wants me to write a 1000 word review (to be published in the Parliamentary Review) about the challenges my company has faced, how I have responded to them and my hopes for the future. It goes on to say that he and his co-chairman (Lord Blunkett) will invite me to their annual gala (held in Westminster) where guest speakers and attendees have included Nick Clegg, George Osborne and Tony Blair as well as Frank Lampard and Jonny Wilkinson. The idea is to share knowledge and best practice in an attempt to raise standards! So I thought 'bollocks to all you losers on Arbtalk - now's my chance to tell the world how WE do it rather than all the waffle from the HSE, Arb Association, etc.' But then I thought... 'Hang on, is this an evil trick by Mr Bolam? Can it be true, why pick me, I'm just one of kazillions of low lifes running a 3.499 ton transit and scratching a living that includes frequent ablutive deeds in the back of my truck and hiding from my bank manager. It turns out, according to the interweb, that The Parliamentary Review is NOT anything to do with our esteemed Government but is run privately. AND it transpires that there is a small fee (£3,500) to appear in the publication and attend the gala din dins. Well fick me, that's my delusions up in flames again. How many of my potential customers are regular readers of The Parliamentary Review? Who would pay £3.5k to listen to Frank Lampard or play hide and seek with Lord Blunkett? I was wondering if anyone else has been specially selected. Apparently a few schools have paid for the privilege of appearing in the Education part of all this. Shame they aren't helping sort out Brexit rather than trying to scam us.
  8. Another one for 'Enemy at the gates' The intensity just burns your brain all the way through. Very sad but 'Short Circuit' has to be in there along with 'Fist Full of Dollars' - I thought I was having trouble with my adding, but it's OK now.
  9. Shane

    New groundie

    Look who started working for us today!
  10. Why would a manufacturer want to create such a reputation?
  11. Car ads which say 'Excellent pre-accident condition'.
  12. I once saw a stump grinder on ebay and part of the heading was 'Not Stolen'. By the time I stopped laughing the ad was pulled so never found out what they meant.
  13. Where was that piccie taken? The guy on the end of the rope looks a lot like me???? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAgh
  14. You don't believe anything beyond your own opinions, can't you see you come across as a dim-witted arrogant racist C.NT of the highest order, then you try to make light of it. You even take the time to tell us how you can beat up most of the kids in the playground. I hope your mummy doesn't catch you using her computer - she will be very angry. Till then we all have to put up with your twatisms. Bugger, thats two minutes of my life I won't get back again.
  15. And then the beast emerged from its lair................


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