Jokes???

[Logdaft]

[s o c]

3 minutes ago, Logdaft said:

So true!

[Tippin Alaybye]

i literally saw a bloke today, in skin tight cycling yellows...must have been 20 stone. i wouldnt have batted an eye if he was in normal clobber

[Mick Dempsey]

[Stubby]

3 minutes ago, Mick Dempsey said:

Outstanding Mick 😁

[Tippin Alaybye]

[gary112]

8 minutes ago, Tippin Alaybye said:

Wishful thinking🤣

[Logdaft]

[topchippyles]

Feeling your age Stubby ☺️

 

Edited June 8, 2021 by topchippyles

[topchippyles]

The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.
“Hallo, Mr. Macron !” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!”
“Well, Paddy,” Macron replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”
“Right now,” says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, “there is meself, me cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!”
Macron paused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.”
“Begoora!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. “Mr. Macron, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!”
“And what equipment would that be Paddy?” Macron asks.
“Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor.”
Macron sighs amused. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.”

“Saints preserve us!” says Paddy. “I’ll have to get back to you.”
Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. “Mr. Macron, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!”
Macron was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. “I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!”
“Jeekers says Paddy, “I will have to ring you back.”
Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. “Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Macron, I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.”
“Really? I am sorry to hear that,” says Macron. “Why the sudden change of heart?”
“Well,” says Paddy, “we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and we decided there is no fookin’ way we can feed 200,000 prisoners.