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Jokes???


brownie1964

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An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After a few minutes he lets off a loud fart and says "one - nil"
His wife turns and says "what was that" and he replies
" a goal, I'm ahead one - nil"
A minute later she lets one rip and says " Goal , one all!"
The old boy farts again " Goal! I'm ahead 2 to 1"
Starting to get the hang of it the wife lets another one go and says " Goal, 2 all!"
The old guy trys to farts again but can't, he doesn't want to be outdone so strains to get another one out and ends up shitting in the bed.
The wife said " What in the world was that?" The old man replies
" Half time, switch sides 

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On 27/05/2021 at 06:46, Big J said:

Haha 😄

 

Nonsense - there are midges aplenty everywhere in Bonnie Scotland. I've been mauled sat in my friends garden in the middle of Queensferry. 

 

I see them very, very occasionally down here, but it needs to be a damp, still day in a woodland, and even then it's only a few.

I got bitten this year in April in Forfar. Had one land on me in Penicuik in March, was the last thing he ever did. Deeply satisfying to splat that early in the year considering the rathe they reproduce at. Wee bastards.

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