David Cropper

I paid €1.48 per litre for diesel this morning, here in France, which is about £1.32 . It's gone down from €1.52 last weekend. President Macron wants to increase the price of diesel so it's dearer than petrol. When we moved here 16 years ago, it was 68cents per litre.

I ask the client's to send me the measurements, width at the base and height, ask for photos and get them to put a bucket or something similar in size to get a sense of perspective. That's only if they are too far away to justify going for a look, always the best option. I go as far as 200 kms so that's not feasible to drive all that way unless it's a big job. The tree surgeons I work with usually have an idea what it's worth or if not they will take photos for me. It's obviously easier when you get to know your machine's capabilities to price the job. That said, I'm pretty crap at times at pricing. Ask Mick Dempsey!

The expat British aren't allowed to donate blood over here in France due to the Mad cow disease outbreak several years ago. At least that was the case a couple of years ago when I enquired of my doctor. Now another farm in Aberdeenshire has found it's resurfaced. It used to be that if Brits had returned to the UK within five years they were automatically barred from donating. It's a shame as I've quite a rare blood group, B Postive.

Good response Wes, a lot more reasonable than I can make at the moment.

Ignorant twat! You know sod all though think you're some sort of intellectual. I suspect my education was a bit better than yours, I may be wrong, but doubt it. I was a grammar school boy, couldn't wait to join the Army, as soon as I reached 17, joined my Regiment in Ireland at 17 and a half. Stop giving out your stupid opinions of which you have no knowledge to comment on. I realise that you have got the reaction you crave, a bit of attention, I should know better at my age than biting. You really are beneath contempt.

"Going through growing pains" ? What sort of clown are you? Kids, because that's what they are, are seeing things they never should see, mates blown to bits, children killed, all sorts of things you could never imagine in your worst nightmares. Why don't you stop trying to be controversial to get attention, because that's what you're doing. Final word, why don't you give them, in your words "A kick up the arse" and see where that leaves you. Hopefully in A&E. Stop talking shite, you're not doing yourself any favours.

This is spot on, mate. Well written, and from the heart.

I was beginning to warm to you recently as I found you amusing. You are talking the biggest load of crap ever. You know sod all what ex forces go through. To say, in your own opinionated, totally ignorant way, that most young men won't fit into civilian life and are left with the option of going into the Forces because they can't do anything else, shows what a complete arse you are. Lots of employers take on ex forces because they will do most things required of them. I can't carry on this rant because I'm getting so wound up. You really are a complete tosser.

Don't you sometimes yearn for the simplistic days of Jon Plogs, Steve?

It was a big deal for me and my wife, Mick. Daughter's finished her radiation treatment and is doing well, thanks. Things are going ok, apart from the fact it looks like I wrote my van off on Thursday, clipped an artic near Chalus. Waiting for the Assessor to see if it can be repaired or scrapped.

Mick Demsey came good for me a couple of months ago. We'd found out that our daughter had been diagnosed with breast cancer, so we had been running backwards and forwards to her place, 90 minutes away. My stump grinder had gone down, I had a long standing job for which I'd given a stupidly cheap quote, rang Mick up, explained what was going on in our lives, told him my quoted price, without any moaning he agreed to do the job for me. Bearing in mind I'd never met Mick in person, never spoke on the phone, but he came through for me. Forum whore he may be, Mull, but when I needed a helping hand, he was there. Thank you again Mick.

I can't think offhand of any nation in the UK who actually likes the English. Look back at history, because the rest of the other countries of Britain do, and they don't forget. The average Jock makes an elephant look forgetful. My first wife was Irish Catholic, that was exciting as I was a squaddy who'd just come back from Ulster, second one Scots Protestant, so I can speak with some authority on the subject. It annoys the present Mrs Cropper when meeting the French for the first time and they ask if we are English. I always reply that we are British, myself English and the wife Scottish. Stilhmadasever is correct when he says that the Scots are welcomed with a smile, especially over here, the Auld Alliance. My French friends always include my wife in any joking anti English banter. When we did the National Census 15 years ago over here, my neighbour's daughter was collating the info. When she wrote English for our nationality, we explained the difference, she replied that "Don't worry, it's all the same thing". That went down well with Jolly Jock. As has been said, there's good and bad in every nationality, people are just people, but we are all different. Thank goodness for that.

One theory according to the book was that partisans blew a local bridge and the SS Tank Regiment decided enough was enough and took action to punish the village. They rounded everyone up including waiting for the commuters to arrive home, then the massacre started. Horrible place. I was working in the village, about 500 metres from the site, last month. It's a very sobering place to visit.

What about using a farm jack, Utube it. Bit of chain attached to the post after drilling a hole for a long bolt, build an A frame of 4x2 timber for leverage.

I remember about 30 odd years ago seeing something very similar for Landrovers. I thought about getting one as I was always getting bogged in on Lulworth Ranges when I did the deer management.

How do you get on with thorns deflating the tyres, or do you use runflats? I used to use an old Turner flail mower for bramble, it went through tyres for a past time, I was forever having to change them.

I think a visit to my doctor is in order. I'm finding Vespasian entertaining in a bizarre, unsettling way, I now look forward to his rants. Am I mentally incompetent and need treatment, or has my wife been slipping me mind altering drugs again?

Sorry for the late reply but I've just got out of A and E. I always assumed my wife being a Jock, had a sense of humour. Wrong yet again. I'm hoping she may well come around to my suggestion.

I didn't think of that. Mind you, my wife's got some cracking sisters, I may put your theory to her now.

Two wives equals two mother in laws. Are you insane?

Got to be easier doing Greenteeth as they're round as opposed to yellow jacket which are oblong and double edged. As Stumpygrinder says, look at U tube, the bloke uses a pillar drill for accuracy but I saw one video where someone puts the tooth into a battery drill then lowers it onto the wheel.

Always wear a mask Mike with anything giving off dust. Great piece of gear, paid for itself already.

Bought one of these set ups a fortnight ago, brilliant bit of kit. I've got the knack of it now, even sharpening ones in the scrap bucket I thought were too rounded. It really does get the edge on the teeth, you get a bit of dust but nothing like off the green wheels. Wish I'd bought one years ago, so easy, even for me, a bloke who has difficulty sharpening a pencil!

My discreet incontinence garments are the height of fashion in some quarters I'll have you know. Advanced age also comes in to it to be fair.

Oldham