David Cropper

Looks in good order for 14, Doug!

Sorry Mr Johnson. To show the authenticity of my Marmite, I've added them to the abomination that is the French version of baked beans. No baked beans, no Marmite, what ever next I hear you cry? Bleeding Brexit, it's enough to make a man eat healthy, French stuff.

Heard the first hoopoe today, seems a bit earlier than usual. Haven't heard the cuckoo yet.

Brilliant news Gary!

Where's this sudden sense of humour come from? Very disturbing.

See them over here quite a lot, Stubby. Lovely looking bird.

Or maybe a very good idea!

Because the MOD is the UK's biggest conservationist body, collars are sometimes placed on deer to monitor their movements. Are you the git who stopped Santa delivering this year by shooting Rudolph? Hang your head in shame!

When I was an Army deer manager, we held a symposium every year at Bovinton Camp in Dorset for the Services Branch of the British Deer Society. This entailed a three day intensive study, lectures, deer viewing and most importantly, a range day. We had to put 3 rounds into a target at 100 metres, prone, 3 rounds from a high seat, then a simulated stalk where deer targets were placed in various natural settings. One trick was to have a roe target with a collar around it's neck. Shoot that and questions were asked about your competence. If you failed the shooting tests, in theory, you couldn't stalk on MOD land until you did pass the test. A pity that more organised testing isn't in place for both the deers' benefit and general safety. The shooting lobby, to coin a bad pun, come under a lot of fire for some of their failings. As to shot placement, it was stipulated that under 30 metres, with the beast side on, take a neck shot, at the base of the neck, otherwise take a heart shot with the beast side on and still. If it moves, don't shoot, wait till he is stopped again. There will always be another chance. Don't bugger it up because you haven't the patience. If you've seen deer that some git has taken a bad shot at or let fly at what he thinks is a safe shot, then having to find and dispatch it, you would think twice.

Chaos is quite right! The batteu is when they drive the beasts forward to the waiting guns, usually waiting in rides or in high seats. You've then got the stalking type of shooting, a lot safer in my opinion. The worst ones, safety wise, are the local village lads, frightened the crap out of me.

I took a young Houshold Cavalry officer out stalking once on Lulworth ranges. He told me he'd been out on his father's sheep station in Australia for a year and went out looking for pig. He found one by a wallow, shot it with his 243, the mud had dried forming almost armour plating. He saw the round explode, the pig charged him, he climbed a tree and stayed there for almost 24 hours as the pig, not best pleased obviously, stayed at the foot of the tree waiting for him. Nice lad but a bit of a Pillock. We had pigs in Dorset, released from a farm by Animal rights mob, they cut the wire fence, pigs wandered off although most returned "home" but quite a few went native. Still living rough after 30 years. This was between Dorchester and Bridport. Fittingly, near Toller Porcorum, the Valley of the swine. I would echo Paul, 270 or 308. The French as Roughhewn says use 12 bore, brenneke slugs or bb, not gauge, we ain't Yanks, Saul, and some of the bigger rifle calibres, usually 9mm, over and under. They go with a wallop.

This was in my old village for the chasse meal. €12 which included boar, venison and a total of 9 courses, with wines and cognac to finish. Never really remember much the next morning.

Nothing like pork. Stronger, more gamey and darker. We did hunting holidays our second year here and had one day a week on pig. A few times nearly a change of underwear job, big nasty buggers. First time I was out with a pack of harriers we hunted the woods. I smelt what I thought was Charlie but extremely strong. I came into a clearing to find a shell hole sized wallow, stunk to high heaven. I wandered off quickly. They are very courageous animals with a high level of intelligence. The last day of our first hunting holiday season, one pig killed four foxhounds when they bayed him. Not a beast to be underestimated.

It used to be .240 and above for deer in England and Wales but any .22 centre fire round in Scotland. The .22 Hornet was very well liked and it was shown to be effective on roe. I used 270 then changed to 243 which I thought was just as good on sika. A well placed, careful shot means a world of difference.