David Cropper

10? I've got 12 on him! And I'm still an idiot.

Philistine, Mr Stubbs!

You're obviously a very disturbed young man, Mr Dempsey.

I can talk shite on line, off line, face to face, I've made it my life's work. It's an art form with me now.

This Forum is getting stranger by the day. You have Mick Demsey battering one off over, firstly Jimmy Krankie Sturgeon, then Dame Vera, now Eggs walloping one off thinking of his family. It's like living in Deepest Tennessee. Or the Forest of Dean.

I started back to work yesterday. Only 20 metres opposite my house for my neighbour, the French gang were there working, only 2 of them in the house. I shouted as I came through the gate that I was going to grind some stumps. I'm miles away in my head working, next minute, one of them tapped me on the shoulder to say they were going! I nearly had a heart attack, never saw him, my wife was on the lane with her camera to video my work, she shouted to him to step back. He looked at her like she was insane. He soon changed his tune when I told him that she'd had the virus a few weeks ago and been hospitalised, and I'd had a touch as well.

The only whisky I can manage is Laphroigh, only because it doesn't taste of normal whisky! If you look, there's an 18 year old Laphroigh that my wife bought me for my sixtieth birthday, still not opened! It's not in production now. I'm more of a Cognac drinker, we're only 45 minutes away from Cognac. When I was hunting here with a pack of harriers, one of the French lads used to sell me Martell Cognac for €7 per litre. It was "liberated" from the distillery via the back door. I usually bought 20 litres at a time. They arrived in 2 litre plastic water bottles!

I picked up a new sideboard yesterday as the one we inherited from the previous owners of our new house, was riddled with woodworm. This is just the whiskies I brought out. I had a customer who wad a Tesco Director and every Christmas he bought me a bottle of single malt. I hadn't the heart to tell him I don't drink whisky! One of them is a Glendronach Parliament 21 year old. Value is around £100. Not touched.

If you get flu Stubby, you know about it. I got it last year as there was an epidemic over here. I even know how I got it. Just finished a grinding job for a French bloke on the Saturday, went to get paid by his wife, she said don't come too near as I'm getting over the flu. Monday I'm out working , feeling like death, finished the job after lunch, went home, bedded down for a couple of days. Took around 8 days to recover but still felt like crap. I got a touch of the Corvid a few weeks ago when my wife was very bad with it. A couple of hours feeling slightly ropey one day then the same the following day. That was it. It seems to have several different effects for different people.

This is for the scholars amongst you.

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In the words of the great George Bernard Shaw " Stop talking bollocks". Do you actually like anything about the countryside? I seem to remember you moaning about the Devon roads when you moved there, too narrow etc. You've just said you find the mounted hunts to be arrogant. I find that deliciously ironic coming from you! It seems to be your way or the high way. I don't like Socialists, Liberals or any other of the Great Unwashed, but I draw the line at banning them. Learn to get along with everybody and not try to give your biased opinions to any poor bugger who will listen, or doesn't have a choice.

You have a horse to ride it, not to keep it in a field and admire it. I am now on the piss and have been for sometime so there will be no more transmissions from this station. I shall bid you a good evening.

No French celebrations, lockdown. I would rather Mr Dempsey concentrated his sordid fantasies on Dame Vera than on his previous squeeze, Wee Krankie at Holyrood.