David Cropper

This is what I do. I had a landscaper,who I was working with the other week, swore by using brake fluid, works everytime and is fast acting.

I have Stuart. An eccentric Yorkshireman who spent all his time and vast amounts of money on setting up a complex watering system to keep his,very big lawned areas ,in pristine condition. Bearing in mind that down here we have temperatures in summer knocking on 40 degrees on a regular basis. It was, I have to say very impressive. He was a fanatical cricketer and umpire, had practice nets up,the lot. Luckily I had to grind out some big bays, not near the lawns!

Half a day's pay for one small stump, yes, ,mind you, I'm saying it now, sitting at home, maybe another story when I get to the job! I asked him to email me his details, address etc so I can send him the quote, as yet nothing. If he doesn't reply, that's okay by me. My mate has weighed up the job, including my part in it so I'm not totally in the dark as to what it entails. I'll combine it with another small job the same day. Ironically the date my mate is going to drop the tree is 1st of April!

Imagine the stink from old, wet mattresses lying around? I know, after looking at some of the property for sale over here!

Will do. Did 4 very big chestnuts last Friday near Limoges, bloke was ok about the tracks making a bit of mess round the work area as he was having some changes made to the garden, ground was quite dry, no mud about which made it easy but still track marks where I had to change position. Most folk are fairly happy to accept a bit of marking as the lawns here are not to the same standard as in the UK. Still try to limit the damage using boards.

Don't worry, that's the first thing I said to him. Give it another few weeks hereand the ground will be hard. We've had it here when we've had a dry spell in April that the ground is rock hard.

Sorry Gary, I forgot to say that I asked him to get his gardener to have the ground prepared before I arrive. I pity that poor sod.

I agree with that the customer is always (sometimes) right, mostly they are very pleasant and accept that you know what you are doing and let you crack on. I'm beginning to wonder if he may have mental health problems, he insists on referring to people by using their full name and title in the conversation, all the time. It's usual that they address you as David or Mr Cropper, not Mr David Cropper at every turn. My mate told me to deal with his wife if it's possible. Bit late to back out now as we have agreed the price.

To put him off and save all the aggro I quoted him a half day's work, in reality it's going to be an hours work with all the buggering about taken into consideration, he jumped straight in and agreed. I ain't the most patient bloke in the world but I may have to bite my tongue on this one for this price.

I had a call yesterday from a potential customer who wanted a chestnut ground out after my mate took it down. He wanted my promise that after the tree surgeon had finished that there wouldn't be any mark on his turf at all. I waffled away saying what an expert he was, very diligent blah blah. He then requested that my mate bring some old mattresses to place around the tree to soften the impact of the dropped branches! After me explaining the method that would be used, lowering etc to the groundy he managed to get his head around this. I had suspected it was a wind up from Darren Shepherd from VTS, same Nottinghamshire accent, thought it was one of his greasy pals ringing up. I'm ready to start effing and jeffing when this bloke throws a couple of French words into the conversation. Obviously nothing to do with Shepherd and his gang, English is difficult enough for them, so it must be a real client. He then needs wants my promise that my grinder won't leave a mark on the grass , to which I say that I'll do my best using planks. He's now suggesting that I roll up all the turf around the stump to 3 metres and also on the route from the drive to the job which is 30 metres. All this for a 2 foot wide stump.

Brilliant bit of work! I've just shown it to my French neighbour who didn't believe it was carved with a chainsaw. What a talent you have.

Very succinctly put Mr Johnson.

Mine is from Campbeltown, so Christ knows what she is talking about. Not a clue.

You said it, mate, three houses down the road there's a tribe of Viet Taff. When they all start jabbering away it's bleeding murder. I feel like I'm a survivor of the Alamo half the time.

Five minutes into the game, knock at the door. French neighbours thought it a good time to visit. My wife, who's a tame Jock, said turn off the telly. Yes dear says I, throwing another Guinness down my neck and completely ignoring her. The French bird says to me, are you going to support France tomorrow, does she think my life would be worth living if I did. The snarling Jock waited for my reply.

I thought more like Gary Barlow after a night on the sauce.

Thanks for that, I'll have a wander over there.

Hi Mick. Where did you buy the wheel, over here or off the Internet? I saw the one on Ebay for that sort of price with quite a bit for carriage.

What has come across on this thread is, firstly, the lad has bravely admitted there is a problem but he has both the guts and the sense to ask advice. Secondly, there hasn't been one negative response from the climbers on here, only support and sound, experienced advice. I suppose that most people go through this at some time in their career, if it was me climbing, I would have to invest in several pairs of stout, stain proof underwear. I think I'll stick to stump grinding.

Well done Shep! I think I'll give your missus a bell this morning and ask where you took her, what you bought her and were you your usual romantic self. That's you in the crap matey!

So far going brilliantly. I booked a weekend away as a surprise for my wife,for Valentine's, drove 107 kms, did a quote 15 minutes away from the hotel,arrived,booked in and now sitting with a couple of pints in me watching the French stuffing the Irish. Life can't get any better than this. Brownie points in the bank unless I get p...ssed.

Excellent post, there's nothing wrong with your eloquence, very well put. I'm sure it will ring a bell with most on here. I really have to think about what I am doing and what the next stage is. My problem is lack of concentration, always thinking of something else. It took me to fall into a disused septic tank, breaking three bones in my foot, to make me really think about what's going on around me. Best of it was that I had looked at the site before, did my assessment, actually warned the tree surgeon, Darren Shepherd of VTS to be aware of the tank before he followed on from me the next week! I now try to get through the day relatively unscathed. I think that we all think we are bulletproof until something happens. A post like this just concentrates the mind a bit more.

Nice bit of kit Mick. Is there much difference between that engine and the 25hp in terms of work rate? Looks a bit quick!

I bought a Pajero 1993 2.5lt in 2001. It was a grey import which came in from Cyprus. Cracking bit of kit. Only had it for a year as we moved to France to live but in the time we had it we never had a problem. I used it to follow hounds, drove to the Highlands from Dorset, then over to central France whilst looking for a house. It never put a foot wrong. On motorway driving when you drove over 60mph it did get a bit thirsty but if driven sensibly, it was remarkably good on fuel consumption. Cross country, excellent, the locking diff was brilliant. All in all I enjoyed driving it.never towed with it but knew someone who did and said it was okay. I have just bought a Renault Koleos which has the running gear of the Nissan Xtrail, only had it a week but impressed already. Got it for my wife after she wrote off the second car in 18 months, hope that this lasts a bit longer.

The best that I have driven was the light weight petrol version,went extremely well,.I liked the forward control one a which I drove a couple of times, I think it had a V8 under the bonnet if I remember correctly.