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David Cropper

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Everything posted by David Cropper

  1. I could have said missive rather than blurb. Don't be precious Eggs! You ain't George Bernard Shaw.
  2. It's that bloody Kevin Johnson trying to recoup his hard earned tax payments! (See Eggs's other blurb ref Thomas Cook if this doesn't make sense to you.)
  3. I hate it when you sit on the fence, Mr Johnson.
  4. Crap Eggs. If you saw some scrote fiddling a kid, or battering a woman etc, would you not consider "grassing" them up? I certainly would after kicking the shit out of them. I got grassed up to the Police when I was Emergency Response Supervisor at BP Wytch Farm oilfield, on duty, absolutely rat arsed, blow 121 first go with the bag, 119 second go. Drove 25 miles from Poole Docks to where I lived, got pulled by 3 waiting police cars by my house, lost my job, nearly my house, marriage, you name it. Worst was my self esteem. I was bubbled by one of my team. I deserved it. What if someone hadn't got me stopped, I could have killed some poor innocent person. I haven't driven with even a half of beer in my system since then and that was 1992 when that happened. Did I feel hatred to the grass? Not at all. You're talking like a character from Porridge, I'm afraid.
  5. I wouldn't say that, Khriss, about getting behind me, on Hampstead Heath.
  6. Best solution, ever Khriss. I used to soak them, pack them with balled up newspaper, soak them again and go for off to work with them soaking wet. Need a thick pair of socks though to stop the feet suffering too much. Another old way was to leave them in the horse muck pile in the stables for a month or so to soften up. Stank like buggery for a while, though!
  7. Two birthdays a year? Bloody Hell Stubby, how old do you want to be?
  8. I intend going on to 70 if it's possible. I'm 68 in November, I try to do 3 days a week but am finding it harder as time goes on. My wife and I get a joint pension of £1300 per month that includes her tiny Tesco pension and my tiny Army pension. I could manage in UK but here we are paying €1400 per year for private health insurance, which is the norm. She had to wait till 62 for hers, I just got in at 65. I will get a French pension, not a lot as I've only so far paid in 15 years so far. It seems as though the age is going to constantly rise in UK to draw your State pension. How is a bloke digging roads supposed to keep going when his body is buggered up compared to someone in an office at that age? I worry about the next generation who will have to work maybe without the back up of a State pension, I feel it will be phased out in favour of totally private pensions. What grips my crap is the work shy scrotes who get a pension for doing sod all.
  9. Bloody Hell Eggs! You ain't setting up a pre nup already are you, youve not had a first date yet?
  10. Our gunnery instructor told us that the Chinese armoured regiments were advised if they heard the three ranging rounds hitting their tank, you had 8 seconds before the big bugger arrived.
  11. First time I heard a 50 Browning go off was at Warcop ranges in Cumbria. Waiting to have our first go at firing 76mm cannon on a Saladin, when next to us was a Chieftain firing the 50 ranging gun, firing a burst of three spaced rounds. A sound I'll never forget, bop, bop, bop, then again, followed by the biggest noise in the World, so I thought, the 120mm main armament on the Chieftain going off. My trousers were very nearly filled with the brown stuff. My face seemed to melt and grow backwards. Just shows how old I am, talking about ranging guns, not lasers!
  12. Wrong name Mr Johnson. Mr Faisal tried to help and witnessed the attack. The bloke who attacked is called Mohammed Rodwan.
  13. A few surprises in today's work. Half way through this stump, when the client suddenly spotted a baby hedgehog hiding behind the stump up against the wall. Moved him to safety by a woodchip pile, went back to the stump to see mum moving about. Moved her to the baby who was very young, eyes still closed, went back to the stump and uncovered two more. How the Hell the mother managed to dig in is beyond me. Rocks, building stones and flints in the stump and underneath. Photo showing how much I had to dig out with a pick, plus careful grinding.
  14. My old Corporal used to say, "You're a bigger bum than ten arseholes."
  15. Here endeth the lesson. Thank you to the Rt Reverend Stubbs. Excellent sermon as usual.
  16. Christ! I bet Stalin's Nanny was a handful!
  17. Erudite? I thought that was an adhesive.

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