stress

[Stephen Blair]

It's one of the main reasons I went self employed.

No boss to tell me I can't just drop stuff and go.

 

[deezyboy]

Just starting to come to terms with this. 

Its quite unsettling as I am only 25 and been running my business  since I was a school leaver. 

The stress and worry to grow the business and succeed, earn a profit, pay the rent etc all off my own back in an industry where people are undercutting and haggling for scraps of work is unsettling.

ive been battling anxiety and depression for about 2 years, pains in my stomach for weeks on end, loss of appetite (no doubt related) constant being wound up, stressed, unmotivated and tired. I used to love work and climbing and now it is for most days a chore, I no longer climb as too busy sending emails and dealing with clients on the ground.

my business has grown and for that I am proud of myself, no hand outs or anything, just pumping every penny I earn back into, hopefully what is to be my future. But this has come at the cost of my social life, family relationship, romantic relationships, overall health and well-being. 

When you do everything that you can to provide for your other half, when they are the reason you get up and pull those 12hr days followed by an hour in front of a laptop at night, and then those relationships fall down due to the stresses that your mild depression over 2 years has caused... it all starts to get a bit much!

i am only 25 and consider myself lucky compared to some of the stories shared by the posters on here, but as much as I enjoy running my own ship and the flexibility it brings, I can’t help thinking if it is worth it. 

I am in talks to starts some counselling sessions, so fingers crossed this is the beginning of the end ?? 

[Steve Bullman]

Its good you've recognised the need to do something proactive.  hang in there mate

[Stubby]

Good luck with everything . Not helpful I know , just best wishes bud .

[westphalian]

Mate. Try an antidepressant. It will either help or not so nothing to lose. They’re not happy pills but can make it easier to cope with all the shit that comes. If counselling, time and drugs don’t help get out. Life is too short

I was in same position. Thought I’d jack it in and no fucking way do drugs or counselling. Before I jacked it in did the counselling , no joy ( still try it though mate) then reluctantly tried drugs and worked a treat.

Happy to take a PM, am twice your age and know a bit about what you’re going through

 

[eggsarascal]

Stick with it deezy, I've been down the stress, depression route more than once,  refused to take drugs or go and see anyone because I'm hard like that, (read dickhead).

 

I've got it out of my system, for the time being at least. When you seem to be doing well, have a nice home, and work coming in you tend to kick yourself even harder. It might take a while but it will pass with a bit off luck. Chin up lad.

[westphalian]

Agree with you eggs but 2 years isn’t a passing phase. Get help

[eggsarascal]

4 minutes ago, westphalian said:

Agree with you eggs but 2 years isn’t a passing phase. Get help

That's what I was trying to say with my dickhead comment. In the end I went to the doctors to get some help, he prescribed one tablet a day, the name of which as totally escaped me at the moment. The new drugs aren't anything like they were a few years I took them for a few months, no weening off when I stopped taking them, I felt ok enough to leave them alone and haven't taken any since.

[Stephen Blair]

Deezyboy, firstly please don’t take anti depressant. I understand counciling didn’t work for Westphalian , my answer to that it, get a better councillor.

Firstly reading your post, you are not depressed. Real depressed folk can’t leave the house. You have successfully ran your business for 2 years, you simply are not loving your life the way you want to live your life.
I believe you will know WHO stresses you and WHAT stresses you.
My first business move was to dead wood the energy vampires, firstly work related then in my personal life.
Go through your phone, delete any contact that you know did not treat you like the awesome guy you are, if there is any resentment to that person, delete!
Any family member, so called friend that uses you, manipulates you and doesn’t support you like mate should as you are crossing the line of a marathon, then delete, ignore and put them out your life.
These people won’t go without a struggle, like putting a young puppy on a lead, it will wrestle and choke itself trying to get free, just hold the lead tight, ignore the little shit and guess what,mit will behave before it chokes out.
Anything you are doing that you know you shouldn’t, stop it! Anything that’s not what you would want your parents or kids to know about, just stop it. Be it doing 31mph in a 30 mph or robbing banks, stop!
You need to get the balance. If anyone owes you money, either go and get it or forget it. Being in a rage about it will eat you up, hating someone is like drinking poison and hoping the other guy dies!
Do something that you are scared to do and just see if the world falls apart like you think it will.
Sit down and write down some business rules and follow them.
Stop talking negatively, teach yourself how to get better at what you are trying to achieve. If your partner is suffering, then tell her you are sorry and ask her what she thinks you need to do.
This guy puts into 90 minutes what I’ve searched for myself in the last 10 years.
Well worth a watch.
Enjoy!

[jfc]

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time. I was a psych nurse for a long time before I did tree work. My advice is that there is no magic solution that works for everyone, you will need to find what works for you. Anti depressants, counselling, CBT, etc or complimentary /alternative medicine all works for some people, don't write any of them off till you have properly tried them. You will find something that works for you. I also wouldn't recommend isolating yourself more by deleting loads of contacts, when you are feeling better you may see those friendships/acquaintances differently. Lastly you can have low mood/depression and still get out the house and function quite well, just inside you know you're not right. All the best. Jan.