Favourite saying or one liner’s.

[Tommy_B]

I lol'd when a co-worker cheerily piped up that the Boss would be "happy as a p**f with 2 a-holes" because we had just done an extra £500 ...

 

Ha ha!!! Thats brilliant!!! Theres a few on here I'm definatley going to have to use!!!

[arbaholic]

On spotting a dodgy haircut

 

"Hair like that only grows on a c**t"

 

I can remember asking my Duty Warden at college "How do you get dandruff off a c**t?" then calmly walking over and brushing his shoulder. It went down about as well as you can imagine....

 

That is quality. will have to use that!

[arbaholic]

Two lads i was working with one said to the other you need x-ray mate, see if youve got a days work in ya!

[Tommy_B]

A fella at college overheard us talking about another guy who'd decided that as he was going bald, a sensible and un-noticable hairstyle would be to grow a ponytail.

 

My standard phase was "Do you know what can be found under every ponytail?----An a**hole"

 

Our mate, Who is slightly slow would then repeat said comment but slightly f#*k it up and believe the punch line was "a pony's arse". It used to piss me off no end as he'd swear that his version "made more sense":mad1:

[Sambo]

''bull dog chewing on a wasp''

 

"Bulldog licking piss off a thistle" is one of the many I heard working in pubs as a kid!!

[MasterBlaster]

How about "Don't punch any beans up your nose!"

[PeteB]

Ay Up love, can you sow a button on that and make it tighter?

[Tommy_B]

"Thats never going to work as long as you've got a hole in your ar5e"

[Ian C]

Done this a few times to customers with a sence of humor.....

 

knock on door and ask for a bucket of hot water, give them a sec and as there walking away tell em to put a tea bag and 1 sugar in it!

[josharb87]

along those lines:

 

i havent cut your eletric lines have i???

no dear

phew, the kettle still works then!

 

customer-'howd you take your tea?'

with a slice of cake and a bacon sarnie:D