One liners from customers

[Dan Maynard]

Could be!
 
Try translating “you can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear” to French and watch the look of utter bewilderment in the eyes.
 
You can imagine their thought processes “I thought we were talking about trees, now this lunatic has started on about pigs ears and whatnot,  the man is deranged!”
 
 

Can't polish a turd?

Don't know if that might make more sense in French?

[trigger_andy]

Just now, Dan Maynard said:

Can't polish a turd?

But you can roll it in glitter.  

[David Cropper]

Another "charming" example. This is explaining that someone swings either way, "il navigue sous vapeur et voile". Basically saying he cruises under steam and sail. How quaint.

Also to admire a bird with large lungs. "Toute la monde est sur le balcon". Everybody is on the balcony. A bit more class than "Look at the tits on that!"

[Rough Hewn]

Nearly got thrown out of a tourist info office in Rouen,
I only asked the girl behind the counter directions to the river?
Ou est la sein?
[emoji51][emoji6][emoji106]

[Baldbloke]

Another "charming" example. This is explaining that someone swings either way, "il navigue sous vapeur et voile". Basically saying he cruises under steam and sail. How quaint.
Also to admire a bird with large lungs. "Toute la monde est sur le balcon". Everybody is on the balcony. A bit more class than "Look at the tits on that!"

Not wood related, but...
Forty years ago I travelled around France on a motorbike doing odd jobs, and met up with a rather gullible Irishman also travelling around on a motorbike. He was down to his last bit of cash and was keen to cash in some traveller cheques. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t speak /understand French and was a bit concerned about how to go about it. I got him just about word perfect in asking for a shag in French,- which sounded very like what he thought reasonable in exchanging a few cheques for some Euros. Of we go to the local Credit Agricole where he waits in the queue. I’m meanwhile out of the firing line inspecting the currency rates and more customers have backed up behind Chris. He reaches the counter and stammers out his lines absolutely perfectly to this old crone. There was a stunned silence at which point I legged it out of the bank.

[eggsarascal]

19 minutes ago, Baldbloke said:

Not wood related, but...
Forty years ago I travelled around France on a motorbike doing odd jobs, and met up with a rather gullible Irishman also travelling around on a motorbike. He was down to his last bit of cash and was keen to cash in some traveller cheques. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t speak /understand French and was a bit concerned about how to go about it. I got him just about word perfect in asking for a shag in French,- which sounded very like what he thought reasonable in exchanging a few cheques for some Euros. Of we go to the local Credit Agricole where he waits in the queue. I’m meanwhile out of the firing line inspecting the currency rates and more customers have backed up behind Chris. He reaches the counter and stammers out his lines absolutely perfectly to this old crone. There was a stunned silence at which point I legged it out of the bank.

Forty years ago he was changing traveller cheques for Euros?

 

 

 

[Baldbloke]

Forty years ago he was changing traveller cheques for Euros?
 
 
 

It may we’ll have been Francs. I’m getting a bit senile at my age[emoji12]

[eggsarascal]

12 minutes ago, Baldbloke said:

 I’m getting a bit senile at my age

I'd noticed this before this thread.

[trigger_andy]

2 hours ago, eggsarascal said:

Forty years ago he was changing traveller cheques for Euros?

 

 

 

Feels like we've been stuck in the EU for that bloody long.  

[spudulike]

No, the Irishman was a time traveller stuck in the time continuum and his motorbike was his Tardis!