Jokes???

[Christopher Schroeter]

[timbernut]

.

[Mark J]

I enjoy a good swim, but if someone asked me what my favourite stroke was, I'd have to say "Margaret Thatcher's".

Edited December 18, 2018 by Mark J

[Stubby]

22 hours ago, timbernut said:

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Brings a whole new meaning to the term " front bottom " ?

[eggsarascal]

[Big J]

Got in trouble first day in my new job as a roofer when I was caught masturbating. It's OK though. The Boss said I can wipe the slate clean.

[eggsarascal]

Jenny, a blonde girl, came skipping home from school one day.


"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other
kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"


"Very good," said her mother.


"Is it because I'm blonde?" Jenny asked.


"Yes, it's because you're blonde," said the mummy.


... The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "We were saying the alphabet today, and
all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A,
B, C, D, E, F, G!"


"Very good, Jenny," said her mother.


"Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?"


"Yes, it's because you're blonde."


The next day Jenny came skipping home from school.
"Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we
showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.


"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.


"Is it because I'm blonde, mummy?"


"No sweetie, it's because you're 24."
 

[doobin]

There were three blondes walking through the woods, when they came across some tracks.\

 

"Aw look!" said the first blonde. "Wabbit tracks!!"

"No" says the second. I think you'll find they're deer tracks.

The third blonde is looking agitated. "They look like bear tracks! We'd best get out of here!" she says.

"Don't be silly", responds the first blonde. "It's only a fluffy bunny wabbit!"

"No, they're deer tracks! I've seen them in a book!" interjects the second blonde.

"I'm telling you, we need to go now, or the bear will eat us!!" whimpers the third.

"Rabbit tracks!"

"No, deer tracks!!"

"Bear tracks! Come on, LET'S GO!! "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And they were still arguing when the train hit them.

[nepia]

How do you milk sheep?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Invent an iPhone and sell it for $1000.

[Ratman]