Whinjuries

[Dan Maynard]

Got a drop of exhaust paste in my eye once, turns out it's quite like bleach so really really hurts and you have to sit in A&E for ages with one eye shut.

[nepia]

1 hour ago, Doug Tait said:

The extension flat roof when I was maybe 10 had a raised lawn close to one side with a distance in height of a couple of meters between them. I remember patiently waiting on the flat roof (completely verboten) for dad to come by before declaring myself the '6 million dollar man' and launching off the roof. Being an experienced stunt coordinator I landed safely of course, but did emerge from the day's events with an extremely sore arse when dad had finished showing the extremes of his displeasure.

 

Learnt from it though, kind of.

Few years on and playing with a mate and his brother at the farm house they lived in, we decided it'd be great to jump from their second floor bedroom window to the garden below, but it seemed quite high. We needed a pile of mattresses which helpfully were readily available in all bedrooms. The plan worked great and much fun was had, when his dad passed by he laughed but suggested enough was enough and his mum best not find out. Just a few more jumps then we thought, but we misjudged it and his mum appeared. She didn't laugh and sore arses prevailed. I was particularly aggrieved as I got one from her and had the indignity of a second round from my mum when I got home.

 

Those were the days.

Spent many hours as a four or five year old seeing how many stairs I could jump from and land on the Victorian tiled hall floor at the bottom.

I could do seven - just - but never eight.

I must have worn a patch in the carpet on that eighth stair trying but the smashed face, knees, legs, elbows never told me 'you can't do eight'.

 

Stupid?  I'm told it can't be fixed

[Doug Tait]

16 minutes ago, nepia said:

Spent many hours as a four or five year old seeing how many stairs I could jump from and land on the Victorian tiled hall floor at the bottom.

I could do seven - just - but never eight.

I must have worn a patch in the carpet on that eighth stair trying but the smashed face, knees, legs, elbows never told me 'you can't do eight'.

 

Stupid?  I'm told it can't be fixed

 

Some may say stupid, I prefer enterprising, courageous and explorative. Bet Sir Ranulph tested himself from a young age too!

[manco]

im not entering this contest because ill win with bad grace

[Will C]

I think my funnest one was a good few year back.

I had cut my leg with a Stanley knife doing something daft. After it still leaking a hour later I decided it needed stitching so boiled a needle and some fine fishing line and set about the job after a reasonable amount of smoke and rum.

My girlfriend at the time walked in halfway through,  fainted and cracked her head open on the cooker. Me not being fit to drive made it an ambulance job for her and a right ear chewing for me from both the ex girlfriend and the nurse gluing her head up. 

Edited April 1 by Will C

[peds]

Outstanding! 

[AHPP]

31 minutes ago, Will C said:

I think my funnest one was a good few year back.

I had cut my leg with a Stanley knife doing something daft. After it still leaking a hour later I decided it needed stitching so boiled a needle and some fine fishing line and set about the job after a reasonable amount of smoke and rum.

My girlfriend at the time walked in halfway through,  fainted and cracked her head open on the cooker. Me not being fit to drive made it an ambulance job for her and a right ear chewing for me from both the ex girlfriend and the nurse gluing her head up. 

 

How was that possibly deserved?

Edited April 1 by AHPP

[Will C]

32 minutes ago, AHPP said:

 

How was that possibly deserved?

Welllll it wasn’t really was it, I mean there was absolutely no concern for my welfare! People! 

[sime42]

Interesting idea for a thread, and nice looking house Peds.

 

I'm not even going to attempt to compete with Will C's offering, I think we may have peaked already with that one. I've a couple that were slightly more than whinjuries, but might fit the bill.

 

Back at school, age about 12 maybe, we were playing cricket in PE. I was wicket keeper and enjoying the chance to stand around most of the time. Next thing i know there's a sharp sting and there's a bit of willow in my face. I reckon the batter swung round too much, he said I was stood too close, who knows. I earnt 7 stitches in A&E for that, 1/2 inch below my left eye. All healing nicely so I went in for a Judo competition the following week. As does happen sometimes I got thrown to the mat, normally all part of the fun but I landed smack bang on the wound. Back to A&E for another lot of stitches, thus ensuring a life long scar.

 

Fast forward a good few years. All grown up and supposedly wiser. I went out scrumping plums. After an excellent picking I was happily cycling home feeling very pleased with my haul. Handlebars loaded with heavy carrier bags full of plums to the point of challenging but manageable. So I thought. A narrow section of path edged by metal railings proved otherwise. Straight off over the handlebars with the heavy bags cramping the chance to style it out!  Off to A&E again but luckily only a sprained wrist that time.

 

[Youngstu]

I discovered today that it's not a good idea to pull a trailer (or log splitter in this case!) with your finger in the towball socket bit! Somehow I managed to flick the latch/spring bit, resulting in something hard /sharp doing a good job of removing half my fingernail. I'm not the best with blood so wrapped it up quick smart🤮

Lesson learned!