peds

Instead of geotextile and gravel, mulch it with a layer of brown cardboard topped with rotting seaweed (if you live near the beach).

If the neighbour's dogs have survived so far, they are unlikely to start chewing on it any time soon.

Hi Kingfisher, Just a wee bit of advice, you'll get a bit more in the way of responses to your thread if you edit in the following sentence: "I've had a local tree surgeon look at the trees who said they are all dangerous, and he'd take them out for £2000." That should help give it some legs. Best of luck!

Depending on what it's used for, I like to cross my cord over itself once before tying the fisherman's, giving an adjustable loop either side of the knot. One half is then cinched up tight against the biner, leaving the big loop to throw around the rope. This probably has a name, I'm sure someone with a bigger brain than mine can identify it. That's the end of this story.

Kind of detracts from the shtick to be honest with you. I'd get a wee bank of solar panels if I could afford it...

Yo, What's the deal with asking clients nicely if you can plug your charger into one of their sockets... have people done it? Has anyone objected? Has anyone ever expected a few shekels knocked off the bill to compensate for the fistful of volts you stole? Obviously if a tradesman was working away indoors there wouldn't even be a question about it, but people can be funny. Any opinions or anecdotes gratefully received.

The idea that you've been disposing of such a considerable quantity of compostable material at the tip instead of leaving it tucked away quietly in the corner for a while is bringing me out in a massive sulk. The shape of holly clippings gives it such a volume of air that you wouldn't even need to turn it, it'd breathe on its own just fine. You genuinely could just leave it in a heap for about two years, ignoring the hell out of it, and you'd end up with a usable product. You could speed up the process by tossing a load of seaweed or grass cuttings through it and giving it a big thick lid of cardboard or old carpet, but honestly, just leave it alone, walk away, and just before you start building a third pile next to it, scoop it up and scatter it across your flower beds, or tuck it back in under the hedge from whence it came to return the precious nutrients.

Not for long!

Goats on stilts.

That S isn't plural, it's possessive. You could, theoretically, say "my mothers-in-laws' handbag" if you had more than one wife whose mothers all shared a single handbag.

Just a quick note on grammar. I believe the correct plural of "c•ck up" should in fact be "c•cks up", and not "c•ck ups", as the standard in English is to pluralise only the noun part of the phrase, in the same manner as "courts martial", "mothers-in-law", or "passers-by ". That is all.

You can't tell me what to do, you're not even my real dad.

Hang on, hang on... I'm having difficulty keeping up. Now you want us smelly hippies to want to cancel... a socialist utopia of our own creation? Damn, being a socialist is confusing. I must have skipped this section of the indoctrination course.

Let me get this straight... you're asking me, a card carrying yoghurt-knitting hippy, to cancel... India? Give me a second, I just need to grab this latest batch of Brazil nut and goji berry granola bars out of the oven and I'll get right on it.

You could squeeze another few square meters of lawn in instead of that tree. Knock them both down to really finish the look. Feck it, try and nail a bit of lawn onto that wall too.