Job description/What they mean (Just for fun)

[Khriss]

....an it's problys a pre 97 DAF bag of shit also ! K

[Conor Wright]

More from the classified ads section... but might fit here...

 

owner emigrating... been caught for nicking sumfink and the judge will deffo put me away this time

low hours... useless,so never used it

Good condition for age... just rust really

or nearest offer... please, somebody, anybody... please, take it away from me!

will swop... anything is better than this thing

cheap bike... deathtrap.

free to good home... it bites.

Edited December 26, 2018 by Conor Wright
clarification

[aspenarb]

Business for sale= Fuck this game ,I’m better off stacking shelves.

Opportunity for lead climber= Need someone to control the other idiots onboard.

Vacancy for ground staff= We have killed off the ones we had.

Recent  respray ( blue ?)= A turd rolled in glitter.

Recent overhaul.= Reserected from the dead.

Low hours= New clock fitted recently.

Ex utilities = Beaten harder than a Paki’s mule by guys that don’t give a toss.

 

Bob

 

 

 

[josharb87]

“No known faults” = there are, but I’m hoping you’re Stevie wonder and won’t see them

 

“Mechanically sound” = looks like shite 

 

“reluctant sale” = I’m strangely attached to this peice of shit

 

”easy fix”  if it’s easy, fix it yourself ya chuffin idiot! 

[Dan Maynard]

"not much use" always makes me laugh, if it's not much use then I'll buy something else more useful.

[joshuatree]

Haha what a great thread.

 

Continued development and training = We'll wait until the arb re-appraisal and then you might get a chipper ticket. 

 

Room to move up in the company = theres a high turnover of staff because the boss is an angry knob. 

[Khriss]

Am so tempted to reply to some of these vacancies using this pot of gold thread k

[Steve Bullman]

Starting wage between £18-23k dependant on experience = starting wage £18k to £18.5k tops

[Joe Newton]

7 minutes ago, Steve Bullman said:

Starting wage between £18-23k dependant on experience = starting wage £18k to £18.5k tops

This one really annoys me. 

[Conor Wright]

No experience necessary... you will drag brash and be screamed at by all those who hold saws.

Must have ability to work on own initiative... yer on yer own mate, call me when your finished thinning this Sitka plantation, here's your McCullough

Must have own transport... We want to turn your nice clean family car into a pickup truck. Tow bar essential.

Attractive package... the boss is a pervert and you will be asked on a regular basis to tell him his package looks attractive.