Dave Martin

and that would be me... sometimes they carry it to the bottom of the next field ... littls b@ggers ... but they are very entertaining

Paddy was passing by Mick's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he saw Mick doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson. Buttocks clenched he performed a slow pirouette and gently slid off first the right welly, followed by the left. He then hunched his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move let his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers . Grabbing both sides of his check shirt he ripped it apart to reveal his tea stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurled his flat cap on to a pile of hay. What on earth are you doing Mick? said Paddy Jeez Paddy ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me said an obviously embarrassed Mick Me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and I went to a Therapist He suggested I do something sexy to a tractor "

Which is why I keep saying over and over again that the minimum price for a cube of hardwood needs to be £100.

On your leaflet drop did you just advertise your servce or include prices Baz?

As I have always said .. for the work involved it has to be a minimum of £100 a cube.

I notice that poplar has been upgraded to a class 2 firewood in the AIE guide with a far more positive description of its qualities. Poplar Populus Poplar burns well and slowly when properly seasoned. Grade: 2

Your lucky to have the luxury of twelve months to sort that Dean. I need to get the barn extended, land leveled and stoned and logs moved onto my designated `log venture` patch before the mud sets in.

This one is probably better

As I was chopping logs today I had these two giving me a none to subtle hint

Ditto ... who is that from?

WRONG ... she was obviously having a bad day and in my humble opinion she is in the right. If she offers you more work grab at it and you no doubt will be a very big man in her eyes and more than likely will be highly recommended by her.

Well thats answered a question for me. I had been intending to do a thread asking if log splitters are prone to theft with the obstacle of their weight and size. Sorry to hear of your misfortune its going to make me lock mine up each night now.

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays. The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.' Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change. This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress. 'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.. ' Same for me,' says the emu. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.' Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table. The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?' 'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.' 'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!' 'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man. Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?' The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.

Ditto ... I have two and they are excelant.

I may get myself one of those climby boy tree swingers to bag mine

Kos 2 nights ago and its such a downer to be back to rain and wet wood.

I rarely use the cone splitter on the Hakki Pilke Eagle. I bought it as a saw bench and just see the cone as a bit of a bonus when the log is just the right size to use it.

its a donkey

But what about World Superbikes where they actually overtake and the Brits are doing well.

They do take forever to fill though.

I know its not the DIY your after but it may be useful Firewood Information

BEWARE .. they will be back for such rich pickings.

Thieving low life parasitic scum ... they should have thier fingers cut off

Nice style to you to Sir ... black and white eh, makes my denim shirt look thoroughly modern