stress

[difflock]

At 53 years of age I am now in a happy content place.

Despite working for a small Local Authority , commencing in 1990, I became seriously stressed, purely due to unreasonable work demands.

Coming from a small farm background, with a "no work, no eat" ethic drilled in from an early age, and being anti Union minded having grown up through the lunitic Scargill 1970's.

MY attendance recored at work was impeccable btw.

We had no financial worries.

Family life was sound.

I decided I could tough it out.

But I could not..

I could list all the classic symptoms, unable to sleep at night, lying in a puddle of stinking acrid sweat, brain "buzzing", then after getting up in the morning DESPERATLY needing to crawl back into bed.

Constipation, total short trem memory loss or inablity to remember.

Loss of libedo:blushing:

and irrational irritibility.

But never suicidal, that simply was not an option, perhaps because deep down I did not see my problems as being of my own making?

I became totally dysfunctional, fnally taking a total of 18 months off on the sick, most of which I spent staring at a blank wall in the kitchen, or individually sorting out buckets of salvaged nails, screws and bolts in the shed=meaninless theraputic activity.

Or up the moss alternately cutting bad trees and hugging good trees.

Anyway, the key was that it crept up on me.

The best anology I came across was the Frog in the pot.

It is apparently fact that if one places a Frog in a container of cold water, on a very low heat, the Frog will not realize the temperature is rising until it is too late/ Frog soup time.

Most peoples reaction to unacceptable stress is the same.

But a very very sound Psychartic nurse turned trainer hit upon the key.

Nobody "hasta" do anything, there is always a choice.

The alternative may well be unpalatable but there is always an alternative.

So go tell the Boss to go **** himself.

One will require to find another job

But one will feel better.

Cheers

Marcus

[the hedge man]

its the memory loss thing that happened for me very quickly also. Now a customer can tell me their name and address over the phone I have to write it down because I will forget it, whereas I was fine before. strange how stress has very real symptoms that cannot be avoided.

[Andy Collins]

The memory loss part is very interesting to me. During my illness, I can only guess at the high level of stress my brain went through, as result, I have a real difficulty recalling events just prior to my admission, ie any of the jobs I had done, or jobs I hadn't done. I suppose it's a coping mechanism, a sort of safety cut out. Luckily, my clients found out PDQ I was ill and all was well, except for one who was a bit of a fool, but he has since been shown the error of his ways in the politest way possible.

[White Noise]

Good stuff Stevie, we went out for a meal tonight and there was a Mark Twain quote on one of the beams

 

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching"

 

I thought it was very good.

 

Like it a lot especially the dancing bit

[Stephen Blair]

I am here.

[Jonny Burch]

I hate to say it but I'm really suffering at the moment. 2012 was a horrible year for me. An 8 year relationship with the mother of my child (2yr old daughter) ended a week before moving to a new house, having all my tools and chipper stolen( only to find out insurance companies won't pay out.) and then a member of staff cutting open one side of the truck on a bolt sticking out of a field gate finally broke the camels back! Works ok but could be better but what I'm struggling to get to grips with is I don't feel I have the energy to build a business up again( took a long time to earn the money to buy everything and I still owe some to finish paying for the tools I now don't have). I'm also struggling to deal with the fact that the relationship I was in ended. It's knocked me for six! I'm going to phone the Dr and ask for some advice.

[skyhuck]

I hate to say it but I'm really suffering at the moment. 2012 was a horrible year for me. An 8 year relationship with the mother of my child (2yr old daughter) ended a week before moving to a new house, having all my tools and chipper stolen( only to find out insurance companies won't pay out.) and then a member of staff cutting open one side of the truck on a bolt sticking out of a field gate finally broke the camels back! Works ok but could be better but what I'm struggling to get to grips with is I don't feel I have the energy to build a business up again( took a long time to earn the money to buy everything and I still owe some to finish paying for the tools I now don't have). I'm also struggling to deal with the fact that the relationship I was in ended. It's knocked me for six! I'm going to phone the Dr and ask for some advice.

 

That sounds like a very tough year, getting help from the Dr sounds like a very good start.

 

Hope things start improving for you real fast

[Tony Croft aka hamadryad]

I hate to say it but I'm really suffering at the moment. 2012 was a horrible year for me. An 8 year relationship with the mother of my child (2yr old daughter) ended a week before moving to a new house, having all my tools and chipper stolen( only to find out insurance companies won't pay out.) and then a member of staff cutting open one side of the truck on a bolt sticking out of a field gate finally broke the camels back! Works ok but could be better but what I'm struggling to get to grips with is I don't feel I have the energy to build a business up again( took a long time to earn the money to buy everything and I still owe some to finish paying for the tools I now don't have). I'm also struggling to deal with the fact that the relationship I was in ended. It's knocked me for six! I'm going to phone the Dr and ask for some advice.

 

Ive been in a very similar position and know how rough this gets, one thing added to another to another till you end up breaking down and begging your GP for some serious help, I begged to see a shrink, I was that lost, felt like i was losing the plot and couldnt see a way out of the dark hole I was in.

 

Your not alone, find something to hold onto and drag yourself out, youll need a hand often, youll find a hand if you reach.

 

feeling a bit depressed myself at the moment, seeing this thread bounce up was odd timing, One of those threads that pops up just when you need it.

 

be strong dude:thumbup1:

[Jonny Burch]

What I forgot to add was that since having everything taken a fellow member on Arbtalk ( Al Cormack) has been very kind In letting me use his spare chipper when I needed it. I've also had several phone calls from other members wishing me well. I've always seemed to be able to pick myself up and dust myself off because I could see my business growing. In today's climate however I just can't see me making enough profit to keep paying a bigger mortgage whilst having to restock all my tools! I'm also well aware that there are other people out there who have it a lot tougher than me.

[Stephen Blair]

That's sound terrible Johny!

Go and the Dr, and try and find a happy place for your mind to go in tough times.

It's a hard time of year aswell.

Maybe a huge change in direction will give you new focus and motivation.

Become a yoga instructor !!