Sum up a thread in two sentences.

[Joe Newton]

3 hours ago, Mick Dempsey said:

Hi guys, new poster here, hope you can help.

We have a tree in our garden that our neighbour (who is a bastard that feeds kittens to his python) has issues with, it’s a 6ft diameter poplar right next to his house.

It was planted by our grandma and our recently departed sainted mother used to cry underneath it and say how much she loved it

Anyway, our neighbour (who has sex with chickens in his garden whilst shouting out our children’s names) has asked us to cut it down as part of his house has apparently collapsed and the so called experts say it is due to the tree.

We had a qualified tree surgeon round who said we should cut it down, but we love nature and stuff as long as it annoys our neighbour (who livestreams satanic rituals every second Tuesday)

 

Can anyone help?

I had the exact same complaints from a neighbour once. I just cut the tree down. No argument, they had me dead to rights. 

[JSN]

59 minutes ago, Doug Tait said:

Do any of the professional tree people (sorry I don't know what you call yourselves) on here agree that Ivy has recently become the most widespread and threatening invasive plant ever identified in the history of botany

 

You beat me to this one. 

[difflock]

On 04/01/2017 at 12:23, Mick Dempsey said:

Bit of fun, although I'm sure it'll turn to death threats.

 

Take one of the most popular threads on here and précis it in two sentences.

 

Some are actual, some are generic ones repeated under different guises.

 

 

1. I've had enough of furriners.

Go and pick your own lettuce then you racist.

 

 

2. I'm skint in London.

I've got a job up north!

 

 

3. I want to start in the industry!

Your dreams will crumble into dust you idiot.

 

 

4. What do you all think of this chainsaw?

You're a fool who will die alone and screaming.

 

 

5. Everybody must use alkalte fuels!

Shut up you nutter, it costs a bloody fortune.

 

 

6. I want to buy this 4wd.

Buy one of those and I'll kill you for your own good.

The grammar Nazi in me is tempted to identify that you ignored your own proscribed rule by precising these generic OP examples in 1 sentance, not 2.

just saying like.

[Mick Dempsey]

18 minutes ago, difflock said:

The grammar Nazi in me is tempted to identify that you ignored your own proscribed rule by precising these generic OP examples in 1 sentance, not 2.

just saying like.

I don’t understand what you mean, can you be clearer?

[petercb]

15 hours ago, difflock said:

The grammar Nazi in me is tempted to identify that you ignored your own proscribed rule by precising these generic OP examples in 1 sentance, not 2.

just saying like.

The grammar nazi in me would suggest you may have a little spelling issue.😃

No points for the correct spelling or edit.

[difflock]

This grammar nazi bes wile dyslexic like, Sur!

[Tommy_B]

1. A valid point is made and a thread started about it.

 

2. Pointless name calling, playground insults and general nonsense commence and point gets lost. Repeat ad infinitum 

[Tommy_B]

Sorry, just seen it said Thread. I thought it said Forum

[Rich Rule]

Most threads on here recently, start  mild mannered.  

After a few comments it is like monkey’s sticking their fingers up their own bums and flicking poo at each other.

 

Each proclaiming that their poo is the best and that they know best.

[Will C]

37 minutes ago, Rich Rule said:

Most threads on here recently start of mild mannered.  

After a few comments it is like monkey’s sticking their fingers up their own bums and flicking poo at each other.

 

Each proclaiming that their poo is the best and that they know best.

Unfortunately I think you have hit the nail squarely on the head.