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the village idiot

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Everything posted by the village idiot

  1. the village idiot
    Thanks Stubby:001_smile: There's been some pretty heavy posts running of late, thought it would be nice to lighten the mood with some ridiculousness:crazy:
  2. the village idiot
    :lol: Nice one John! Can you give us all a first line to get us started?
  3. the village idiot
    Thanks Stubby, have had a good clear out.
  4. the village idiot
    There once was a Bohemion monk Who thought "I'm a bit of a hunk" He met a nice girly But peaked far too early And ended up covered in sp***
  5. the village idiot
    Ode to Jon:thumbup: In Somerset there lives a Jon:thumbup: Who discovered his logs had all gone. He searched here and there, But the log store was bare. Thought Jon "This really ain't on":thumbdown: To Jon the loss was a shame He guessed "It's that Eggs who's to blame" With his temprement cloudy He jumped in the Audi And headed to Suffolk aflame! Now Jon he was feeling quite sporty And pushed up the speedo to 40! His nostrils were flaring As The Wurzels were blaring He'd teach Eggs for being so naughty. In Suffolk our Jon was quite gutted To find that the roads were all rutted. He thought "It's a joke- All the womanly folk Like my logs are all hugely Big Butted" Jon stopped at an Inn, as you do To guzzle a cizzer or two. With vision all blury And speech a tad slury He stumbled to 14 Egg View. Jon threatened the rascally sneak "I'll squeeze you right hard till you squeek!" Said Eggs "Jon you clot- You've gone and forgot, You sold them to 5 Shires last week!"
  6. the village idiot
    Looks like a lovely bit of woodland, and your certainly not mad taking it on. Generally speaking any well considered management is better than no management at all. I would definitely recommend widening the rides as one of your first jobs. Great for the wildlife and will help keep your tracks dry for access and extraction etc. Keep us updated on how you get on:thumbup:
  7. the village idiot
    :lol: Nice one Silky:thumbup:
  8. the village idiot
    Hi Stuart, Got a wood full of the stuff if you wanted to come and have a look? Send me a PM if you'd like.
  9. the village idiot
    Excellent! A man who knows what he's talking about. Thanks Woody
  10. the village idiot
  11. the village idiot
    :lol: Well it beats many weeks of planting to more than double the size of your woodland! You won't need to worry about the hazel in terms of felling licences. It would certainly be worth asking your local Forestry Commission officer about the Leylandii. There may be some loophole allowing you to fell them not under licence, not being a typical woodland specimen?
  12. the village idiot
    By my reckoning, and please note who you are dealing with here!, each tree would have an approximate volume of between 0.25 and 0.5 cubic mtrs. This means you could legally fell 10 or so per quarter, so long as you weren't felling any other +15cm diameter stuff in the same time period. Please feel free to ridicule me senseless if this turns out to be total codswallop:thumbup:
  13. the village idiot
    I think thinnings need to be less than 10cm diameter to be felling licence exempt.
  14. the village idiot
    So you have dear boy! I shall reply without delay this evening.😊
  15. the village idiot
    Hi Bombus. There are still plenty of thatchers, hurdle makers and hedge layers that are keen to source good quality UK hazel. I would love to supply them myself but most of the hazel I have access to is seriously out of rotation. Nearly all my hazel goes into the charcoal kiln for which it is excellent. Another option is to convert the tops into river faggots. Huge demand for these and easy to make. Nice quiet job too with just a block and a billhook. If you have plenty of brash you can churn out about 20 a day, they sell for around £7 each collected. Not saying don't convert some areas from hazel, but it may be more valuable than you think! If nothing else hazel can be cut on a relatively short rotation and it is great for supporting wildlife. TVI (chair-idiot of the hazel appreciation society)
  16. the village idiot
    Thanks for the heads up Andy. I've been after a quality new saw and those chaps sound like just the ticket.😊 Think you might have missed a trick there!
  17. the village idiot
    Good post that! My advice would be don't rush into planting too many different things. I fully appreciate that the temptation is strong, and we do need to diversify our woodlands to a certain extent. Woods however are very good at regenerating themselves given plenty of light, and you end up with species that grow well in your particular environment. Planting is definitely a positive idea but I would question the need to clear out many of the resident trees in order to establish untested ones. All species of woodland tree will produce you firewood, they are also all marketable in some way or other. It can be a fun challenge to uncover the markets over time and tap into them😊
  18. the village idiot
    Hi Bombus and Gnome. I am curious to know how old your woodlands are, and Gnome- what is the intended use of yours?
  19. the village idiot
    Damnation! There he is again!!
  20. the village idiot
    Be there a Wizard in our midst:sneaky2:
  21. the village idiot
    All good advice. Try not to lose sight of what you enjoy doing:001_smile:
  22. the village idiot
    :lol::lol: apology well and truly accepted
  23. the village idiot
    You leave me out of this!
  24. the village idiot
    Perhaps I was being a bit harsh, I do apologise. With a bit of a pluck and a dusting of blusher you probably scrub up pretty darn sexy:thumbup:
  25. the village idiot
    I'd strongly recommend you seek a second opinion on that MM.

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