Bolt

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf and dumb, and for good reason - It was assumed that if Guido would hear nothing, he would never be called to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!" The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, Where's the money? Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about." The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head, and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!" The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him." Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house." The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?" The lawyer replies, "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger!"

I slightly regret not going down the Stihl route…. The MSA300 is probably the first really ‘grown-up’ looking battery saw.

Decent battery saws are a revelation. When I first got a T540i I spent nearly two weeks re-coppicing overgrown sweet chestnut with it. In the end I got the rear handled version before I got myself busted.

You shouldn’t be getting ‘painful’ levels of vibration on modern-ish tools. Swinny’s suggested of bent drive shafts seems the most likely culprit. The outer shaft may look fine, it’s the drive ‘rod’ running down the middle of the shafts that can be the problem. Can you tell if the vibration seems worse if the thing is under load?

My careers advisor got me an interview to be a bug sorter after I left school. I though it went well, and was surprised to not be offered the job. I was led to believe that the interviewer was happy I had boxed all the right ticks.

What do I think? I think anyone in the industry who suffers ongoing recruiting issues needs to get shacked up with a Careers Advisor! Clearly a source of untapped potential there.

TBH, Elder is a pretty underrated tree. Produce includes: • Firewood • red wine • unbeatable wands • white wine.

Burnt tons of it…. Never noticed any problems with Witches. Store it properly (dry and breezy location off the ground ) as it quickly degrades if in the damp.

… take Nearly-headless-Nick. I have always regarded him as a really badly executed character.

One of Leslies most recent rolls was as ‘the sorting hat’ in the Harry Potter film franchise. Probably some of his largest audiences for one of his least challenging performances. Mind you, he may only have been a hat, but there are worse parts to portray…

…No one ever could say “Ding dong” better!

…. Bows out aged 98.

Very much. But then a large proportion of Devon is moor.

Devonshire roads are intensionally steep, narrow, winding and often below the level of surrounding land. This is to channel all the water into a suitably impressive raging torrent.

If he’s a native, he’ll be plenty experienced to cope with it. Apparently in-comers have been known to struggle a bit with the concept though. 😄

Yet another day of mild and slightly grey…… interspersed with frequent torrential downpours of near biblical proportions.

Put the punchline first. How do you make a joke confusing?

Good result on getting them down. Working in someone else’s tangled mangled mess is never easy. Personally, if the now deceased cherrys are anything to go by, I’m not certain that anything else you do to the beeches will make much difference. Beech are not renowned for their ability to respond well to pollarding, or chucking out much regrowth. If there is plenty of growth low down they may make a hedge of it. If so, angling the final cuts will certainly do no harm to their chances though. If you’re lucky, they will turn out to be hornbeams! 😊

True story [bit of a departure for me]. My sisters cat caught and released a mouse in her kitchen a few years back, which promptly took refuse in a gap between the thick Devonshire cob wall and the waste pipe that passed through from the kitchen sink. My brothe-in-law, was well annoyed, as he didn’t wan the rodent burrowing into the house walls / chewing through the wiring or causing fires (thatched roof, etc). Having exhausted everything they could think of to get the terrified little sod out, he resorted to the .22 rimfire. Unbeknownst to him, the gap also carried the main electric cable feed, and he shot right through it, resulting in massive arc, and loss of all power. Bloody funny at the time (but maybe not for him).

Seth took his seat on the train, content that he would soon be putting the city behind him and returning to the sticks. An attractive but clearly business savvy young lady took the seat opposite, rummaged through her briefcase and promptly became engaged in a well thumbed book she’d extracted. As the train left the station Seth thought he’d have a little stab at making small-talk. “Interesting book?” He enquired, only to suffer instant regret as she lifted it to reveal the title: Sexual Statistics. Noticing him colouring up, she rather savagely responded, “Yes, it’s absolutely fascinating. For instance, I bet you didn’t know that the Native Americans have penises with the thickest girth,or that Serbians have penises that are much longer than the average?" Feeling slightly guilty that she had put the lad in an uncomfortable position, she relented and said “Sorry, that was rude of me… I’m Angela by the way”. “Oh, …it’s ok… its fine” stammered Seth “My name?… It’s Tonto Knezevic”.

I feel partially responsible. We both should probably have been more aware of the potential for this to happen.

I remember once my dad gave me money to pay for the electricity, but instead I bought 142 tickets to win a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I had done and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside our house was a brand new car. Everyone cried. ….But no one cried more than me, because the car was from the electricity company and they’d arrived to cut off the power. Dad beat the crap out of me again.

Another hint to keep my trap shut.

Even if it doesn’t kill them, it will ampere their progress.

The salesperson tried selling me a sofa by claiming it could seat 5 people without any problems. Nice try. I don’t know 5 people without any problems.