Thanks as always for all your support and kind words, they really do mean so much and always keep me spurred on when things get a bit tough.
So I have been out of hospital for a couple of weeks now. It's been a bit of a whirlwind with what seems like one appointment after another. Community Support teams, OT's, Doctors, Representatives from various funding agencies. It really has been non stop and I have lost count of the number of forms and application forms I have filled out since my discharge.
It's so nice to be out of the unit, of course it is. It's now that I am facing new obstacles on a day to day basis. The spinal unit is one big safety bubble, everything designed and geared towards wheel chairs. A different story on the outside. Every pavement is a challenge in a conventional wheel chair. The small casters at the front constantly getting stuck in large cracks or pot holes, stopping dead and nearly throwing straight out the front of the chair. Luckily for me due to the generosity of many around me including the Arbtalkers I have been able to order my new chair which will be a godsend and enable me to have so much freedom. This freedom will not only be enjoyed in the urban environment but also in woodlands and the countryside. I have test driven and now ordered the Mountaintrike. Its such a fantastic bit of kit. All mountain bike technology with full suspension and disc brakes it really is a joy to ride. Up grassy slopes, over tree routes, wet sand, and makes mincemeat of pavements and potholes. Made to order it will be 8 tom10 weeks and it cannot come soon enough. It will enable to get some normality back, I can take my little boy to football with no danger of sinking on a soggy muddy football pitch. I never ever thought I would get excited about a wheelchair!! Oh how things change.
Although I have been discharged from hospital I know what a long way there is still to go. I'm still in a lot of pain and my legs are still on fire 24/7 although I have no feeling or moment. It's much the same as phantom limb syndrome. There is medication fro this but I have cut down on the recommended doses as I am exploring through various types of alternative medicines and healing techniques a more natural way of combating it. Wake some mornings still gobsmacked that this has happened to me, telling myself that I just want my legs back. These thoughts are fleeting and as soon as I start to feeling a little morose I drag myself back quick as I know if allowed to sink too far it is a very difficult place to get back from. I still know how lucky I am. Lucky that I wasn't killed or becoming a quadriplegic. Lucky that I have so many amazing family, friends, colleagues etc. lucky that the system in this country does kinda work ( although starting to realise how much improvement there could be). I watched a program about disability in Ghana. It was horrendous with lots of kids who were paralysed living in the streets, turfed out of home by parents, just seen as another mouth to feed unable to contribute. Using skateboards as wheelchairs they spent there days begging. I cannot begin to imagine what it must be like for them having to do their bowel and bladder management in those conditions. It was heart wrenching stuff and I thanked my lucky stars. However I am a believer that pain is relative and we can only deal with what we are confronted with.
On the whole though I remain pretty positive and I just want the pain to go, for me to regain my agility which I work on everyday through various exercises and bits of yoga and for me to get on with life.
Cheers guys. Will update again soon.
