While we’re on the subjects of stress, depression etc I’d like to get just one thing off my chest…
It’s the ‘S’ word – Suicide, not a nice word, not a nice subject. There is one thing that makes my blood boil is when people say ‘Oh, suicide – that’s the easy way out’. In my opinion its absolute rubbish.
In the past I’ve been close, I’ve been missing my children, mourning the loss of my marriage and grieving for what might have been. I absolutely and totally empathise with how people reach the decision to take their own lives. Its not selfish, the poor souls are depressed, they have an illness and are going through and experiencing so much pain that, in their eyes – there is only one solution.
In my case the pain got so bad I just wanted it to stop. I remember times when I had to concentrate hard, not to drive the Discovery into a tree. Another time I had planned to break into the marital home, pinch my daughter’s pillow and climb up to the top of Bredon Hill (my favourite spot in Worcester) snuggle down and ‘fall asleep’ (the pillow was a way of feeling close to her). I went to the doctor who prescribed anti-depressants – these were useless as they just made me drowsy (I fell asleep at work and still get the pi55 taken out of me 3 years on) – too proud to tell colleagues the reasons why.
I managed to get through my ‘dark spell’ – I just love life too much I guess.
The reason for writing this – If you know someone who is depressed, talk to them, try and understand how they are feeling and try and talk them into getting help. Please don’t say ‘Suicide? That’s the selfish way out’, it isn’t and that’s the last thing someone in that state of mind needs to hear.
Thanks for listening.