My accident

[sean]

13th May

 

Its been a pretty uneventful week in the hospital. Uneventful for me at least i guess. Oh yes there was one incident where I took a bit of a stumble in the gym.You lot will not want to hear about that though will you? Why would you want to hear about me making a fool of myself? Thought so. Oh alright then i'll tell you, but only because i need to get it out there, into the ether, let it go so i can move on from what was quite frankly bloody embarrassing!

I was doing my daily 20 minute stand in the standing frame when my Physiotherapist said that she would have to go and would i be alright getting myself out of the frame and back in the chair? Of course I will, I know what i'm doing plus Ive got Susi here to help me. It will all be fine, you run along and leave me to it. A brief explanation about the standing frame. Without drawing diagrams or showing pictures, the standing frame is essentially like a lectern with a few additional supports, bars etc. It has 3 leather straps two of which go behind your ankles and backside and one goes in front just below the knees.Thats it really, not much to it. The straps obviously prevent you falling backwards and your knees from buckling. "Right tell me what I need to do" said Susi. It was at this point that i had my doubts whether I could remember any particular sequence with regards the unstrapping or indeed whether all of them should be undone to enable me to sit back in my chair safely. Not being one to admit that perhaps i may have been wrong in saying I knew what I was doing with an air of confidence I told her to "take them all off". She may or may not have questioned this decision, that I cannot remember but off they all came. As a result as soon as I went to sit back my knees buckled with nothing to support them and I was left clinging on to the edge of the frame. I was stuck. Couldn't go up, couldn't go down. Just clinging on to the cliff face like a suicidal kitten that had changed its mind. It took Susi and another Physiotherapist to get me lifted back to a standing position and the front knee strap put back into place. It was this strap that I had my doubts about but was too arrogant to admit to and I paid the price. Luckily there was know damage except to my pride and my ego as there was a number of other people in the gym who all witnessed this catastrophic event. The Physiotherapist then told me that she would have to inform my Doctor just in case. "It's ok i told her, its all fine, no damage, nothing to report".

"Procedure" she said. She then asked me my name. "Graham" said I with a sheepish smile. Graham is an old boy on the ward. Well I couldnt have the doc thinking that i stumbled like an idiot could I?

 

So as i said, an eventful week. Same old same old really apart from that. General Physio, workshops, education programmes. Getting used to the catheter which to be honest isn't as difficult as i thought it might be. The only time that it is difficult is the early morning when I am woken at 5 or 6am. Still half asleep, squinting through half closed eyes it is like trying to insert a pencil through the eye of a needle. As i've said before its times like this I am glad I have no feeling there.

 

And so we come to Monday. The big day. Escape day!! Months of careful planning. The studying of plans, diagrams and maps had finally reached fruition. The day had come. There could be no turning back. It was to be today or never. In reality it was one text message and a phone call and we could have done it on any other day but come on, there's not much excitement here so give me a little creative license.

 

So, the big day. Final checks. Wheelchair to car transfer board. Check. Spare catheter and other medical supplies. Check. Cider. Check. Whisky. Check. And so off we went, the three amigos (Well two and an Amiga). Myself, Susi and Morgan were heading for 'The Great Yews'. A collection of Ancient Yew trees on the Earl of Longford's country estate,not too far from the hospital it turns out so happy days! As soon as we turned out of the hospital the senery changed. In front of me was a tree and hedgerow lined road, flushes of green against a bright blue sky, the sun filtering through the canopies of trees. Already i was beginning to feel energised. I knew this trip would be part of my healing, therefore it was medicinal, therefore bollox if i got told off. It would be worth it and after all at the end of the day I'm a grown man and I can do what I like. So there.

 

After a lovely drive around part part of the estate due to not knowing where we were going we arrived at the Yews. The energy of the place hit you as soon as soon as you stepped out of the car. Or in my case as soon as you scrabbled from car to chair, trousers falling down with my bare arse out for all to see which in my case luckily comprised only of Morgan and Susi who have seen it on a regular basis lately.

 

To be amongst old trees again felt so good. Prior to my accident it was where i spent a lot of my time. To be amongst this amount of old Yew trees was something else. These were probably about 500 years old and there were a lot of them. They were all lapsed pollards, possibly planted for the production of long bows? I will have to do some historical research to find out. Yews are a powerful tree. As a lone standing tree they have been revered and used for thousands of years and they remain one of our most sacred and long lived tree species.

The thing is i knew prior to coming here how difficult this trip would be for me. Like everything I encounter at the moment it would present its own obstacles and difficulties juxtaposed with all that is positive about it. Before my accident i would be scrabbling around the undergrowth to take a look at a particular fungi or to examine a piece of deadwood that may have caught my eye. Obviously this was not possible for me, not today at least. A lot of the Yews limbs had 'layered'. That is they had grown away from their trunk and then bent down until contact with the ground was made where they would then take root. The branches formed arches which i was unable to get under due to being sat in a wheelchair and they were too low for me to get under. I watched Susi and Morgan walking in places that obviously could not. It would have been very easy for me to get frustrated which in turn would have darkened my mood and in turn the others whom i was with. I made a decision that I stay positive. I was in such a magical place with so much natural healing energy around me that it would have been futile to not take advantage of it and harness it for the benefit of my mental and physical being. Not only that but Morgan had put his reputation as a fine, honest and upstanding member of the community at stake to get me there. (Those who know Morgan i hope you haven't all spat your coffee out on reading that!)

 

And so I put all negative feelings and thoughts to one side. I explored the woodlands as best i could, taking the wheelchair to places it wasn't designed to go. This gave me some hope for the future. I struggled, it was bloody hard work getting the chair to move, getting caught on brambles and pieces of deadwood but i managed to a degree to get about. If i could achieve this in this particular chair, designed for flat surfaces, who knows what i will achieve in a rough terrain wheel chair? It certainly wasn't how it used to be however. I'm a woodsmen, a tree man. I like to get amongst it, to scramble around the undergrowth looking at mosses and fungi, traipsing through hedges to check out a tree i had spied from afar. I would spot a tree from the bottom of a ravine or woodland slope and i would be up there in no time to look at it. Its a harsh reality that for all the advances in wheel chairs there is so much that i will not be able to do. It saddens me that a great part of my life has been wrenched from me. I had so many plans and projects in mind for the future based around walks and trees that i will not be able to do now. I know that i will still dedicate my life to trees however. Through my photography, my work with The Ancient Tree Hunt, campaigning for the protection of our nations treasures, education of children etc, I will still be involved. It will just be different. Right now i'm thinking if I cannot walk I will have to find other means of transport in my arboreal quest. I'm thinking a Kayak. You do not need legs to use one of those and our waterways are home to many species of old trees. It could be the answer.

We stayed for an hour or so, drank a toast to health and the future and before too long it was time to return to the hospital. It was a wrench as i'm sure you can imagine. I dreaded going back but felt a new vitality plus added impetus to get fit and healthy and to get home as soon as possible. To enter the hospital once again was to enter a world a million miles away from where we had just come from, which in fact was only a couple. Two opposite ends of the spectrum. It seemed that one minute i was surrounded by beauty, immersed in the natural world, the next I was dropped back into this clinical sterile environment. I know where i want to be.

 

Yesterday I had my first trip to on on the bus. That sounds like a statement a 5 year old would make. Anyway I will tell you about that another time. Peace x x

[mendiplogs]

13th May

 

Its been a pretty uneventful week in the hospital. Uneventful for me at least i guess. Oh yes there was one incident where I took a bit of a stumble in the gym.You lot will not want to hear about that though will you? Why would you want to hear about me making a fool of myself? Thought so. Oh alright then i'll tell you, but only because i need to get it out there, into the ether, let it go so i can move on from what was quite frankly bloody embarrassing!

I was doing my daily 20 minute stand in the standing frame when my Physiotherapist said that she would have to go and would i be alright getting myself out of the frame and back in the chair? Of course I will, I know what i'm doing plus Ive got Susi here to help me. It will all be fine, you run along and leave me to it. A brief explanation about the standing frame. Without drawing diagrams or showing pictures, the standing frame is essentially like a lectern with a few additional supports, bars etc. It has 3 leather straps two of which go behind your ankles and backside and one goes in front just below the knees.Thats it really, not much to it. The straps obviously prevent you falling backwards and your knees from buckling. "Right tell me what I need to do" said Susi. It was at this point that i had my doubts whether I could remember any particular sequence with regards the unstrapping or indeed whether all of them should be undone to enable me to sit back in my chair safely. Not being one to admit that perhaps i may have been wrong in saying I knew what I was doing with an air of confidence I told her to "take them all off". She may or may not have questioned this decision, that I cannot remember but off they all came. As a result as soon as I went to sit back my knees buckled with nothing to support them and I was left clinging on to the edge of the frame. I was stuck. Couldn't go up, couldn't go down. Just clinging on to the cliff face like a suicidal kitten that had changed its mind. It took Susi and another Physiotherapist to get me lifted back to a standing position and the front knee strap put back into place. It was this strap that I had my doubts about but was too arrogant to admit to and I paid the price. Luckily there was know damage except to my pride and my ego as there was a number of other people in the gym who all witnessed this catastrophic event. The Physiotherapist then told me that she would have to inform my Doctor just in case. "It's ok i told her, its all fine, no damage, nothing to report".

"Procedure" she said. She then asked me my name. "Graham" said I with a sheepish smile. Graham is an old boy on the ward. Well I couldnt have the doc thinking that i stumbled like an idiot could I?

 

So as i said, an eventful week. Same old same old really apart from that. General Physio, workshops, education programmes. Getting used to the catheter which to be honest isn't as difficult as i thought it might be. The only time that it is difficult is the early morning when I am woken at 5 or 6am. Still half asleep, squinting through half closed eyes it is like trying to insert a pencil through the eye of a needle. As i've said before its times like this I am glad I have no feeling there.

 

And so we come to Monday. The big day. Escape day!! Months of careful planning. The studying of plans, diagrams and maps had finally reached fruition. The day had come. There could be no turning back. It was to be today or never. In reality it was one text message and a phone call and we could have done it on any other day but come on, there's not much excitement here so give me a little creative license.

 

So, the big day. Final checks. Wheelchair to car transfer board. Check. Spare catheter and other medical supplies. Check. Cider. Check. Whisky. Check. And so off we went, the three amigos (Well two and an Amiga). Myself, Susi and Morgan were heading for 'The Great Yews'. A collection of Ancient Yew trees on the Earl of Longford's country estate,not too far from the hospital it turns out so happy days! As soon as we turned out of the hospital the senery changed. In front of me was a tree and hedgerow lined road, flushes of green against a bright blue sky, the sun filtering through the canopies of trees. Already i was beginning to feel energised. I knew this trip would be part of my healing, therefore it was medicinal, therefore bollox if i got told off. It would be worth it and after all at the end of the day I'm a grown man and I can do what I like. So there.

 

After a lovely drive around part part of the estate due to not knowing where we were going we arrived at the Yews. The energy of the place hit you as soon as soon as you stepped out of the car. Or in my case as soon as you scrabbled from car to chair, trousers falling down with my bare arse out for all to see which in my case luckily comprised only of Morgan and Susi who have seen it on a regular basis lately.

 

To be amongst old trees again felt so good. Prior to my accident it was where i spent a lot of my time. To be amongst this amount of old Yew trees was something else. These were probably about 500 years old and there were a lot of them. They were all lapsed pollards, possibly planted for the production of long bows? I will have to do some historical research to find out. Yews are a powerful tree. As a lone standing tree they have been revered and used for thousands of years and they remain one of our most sacred and long lived tree species.

The thing is i knew prior to coming here how difficult this trip would be for me. Like everything I encounter at the moment it would present its own obstacles and difficulties juxtaposed with all that is positive about it. Before my accident i would be scrabbling around the undergrowth to take a look at a particular fungi or to examine a piece of deadwood that may have caught my eye. Obviously this was not possible for me, not today at least. A lot of the Yews limbs had 'layered'. That is they had grown away from their trunk and then bent down until contact with the ground was made where they would then take root. The branches formed arches which i was unable to get under due to being sat in a wheelchair and they were too low for me to get under. I watched Susi and Morgan walking in places that obviously could not. It would have been very easy for me to get frustrated which in turn would have darkened my mood and in turn the others whom i was with. I made a decision that I stay positive. I was in such a magical place with so much natural healing energy around me that it would have been futile to not take advantage of it and harness it for the benefit of my mental and physical being. Not only that but Morgan had put his reputation as a fine, honest and upstanding member of the community at stake to get me there. (Those who know Morgan i hope you haven't all spat your coffee out on reading that!)

 

And so I put all negative feelings and thoughts to one side. I explored the woodlands as best i could, taking the wheelchair to places it wasn't designed to go. This gave me some hope for the future. I struggled, it was bloody hard work getting the chair to move, getting caught on brambles and pieces of deadwood but i managed to a degree to get about. If i could achieve this in this particular chair, designed for flat surfaces, who knows what i will achieve in a rough terrain wheel chair? It certainly wasn't how it used to be however. I'm a woodsmen, a tree man. I like to get amongst it, to scramble around the undergrowth looking at mosses and fungi, traipsing through hedges to check out a tree i had spied from afar. I would spot a tree from the bottom of a ravine or woodland slope and i would be up there in no time to look at it. Its a harsh reality that for all the advances in wheel chairs there is so much that i will not be able to do. It saddens me that a great part of my life has been wrenched from me. I had so many plans and projects in mind for the future based around walks and trees that i will not be able to do now. I know that i will still dedicate my life to trees however. Through my photography, my work with The Ancient Tree Hunt, campaigning for the protection of our nations treasures, education of children etc, I will still be involved. It will just be different. Right now i'm thinking if I cannot walk I will have to find other means of transport in my arboreal quest. I'm thinking a Kayak. You do not need legs to use one of those and our waterways are home to many species of old trees. It could be the answer.

We stayed for an hour or so, drank a toast to health and the future and before too long it was time to return to the hospital. It was a wrench as i'm sure you can imagine. I dreaded going back but felt a new vitality plus added impetus to get fit and healthy and to get home as soon as possible. To enter the hospital once again was to enter a world a million miles away from where we had just come from, which in fact was only a couple. Two opposite ends of the spectrum. It seemed that one minute i was surrounded by beauty, immersed in the natural world, the next I was dropped back into this clinical sterile environment. I know where i want to be.

 

Yesterday I had my first trip to on on the bus. That sounds like a statement a 5 year old would make. Anyway I will tell you about that another time. Peace x x

 

Hi SEAN great pics keep up the good work Sean all the best from Sonia Jon 👍

[Daniël Bos]

Thanks for the update Graham:biggrin:

And some fine pics as well:thumbup1:

[eldon]

Definitely an inspiration Sean, being following this throughout. Loved your positivity with regard to the Kayak comment but you could do things on land with something as simple as adding a quad to your toolbox.

 

All the best and upmost respect to you.

[Countryboy]

Thank you for the update and photos. With your family behind you for support you will soon be back home

[Dave D]

Sean, ive only just seen this thread. I just want to offer by regards. It sounds like youve got an admirable attitude and its that that will get you through this, sure there will be crap days and times you wonder why, but you will carry on through and you will make the best of whatever outcome youre faced with. Keep strong fellar, your bravery will be an example to us all.

 

All the best, Dave.

[Billhook]

Many of us working in the woods and with wood have had near misses and could easily be in your situation but for the Grace of God.

You are inspirational to us all and a constant reminder to just take that little bit more time and care when working in a dangerous environment.

You already have the love and support of your family and the good will of the arbtalk community. Love is a great healer.

 

I have copied some links from youtube which I hope will be in turn an inspiration to you. There are many more out there.

 

 

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All the Best Sean.

[sean]

Thanks for all your support and kind words, links, videos etc. with me all the way and it is much appreciated

[mendiplogs]

Thanks for all your support and kind words, links, videos etc. with me all the way and it is much appreciated

 

Hi SEAN GREAT PICS there mate keep up the good work Sean Sonia Jon

[skyhuck]

Not sure if your a big radio fan Sean, I am and something I heard today made me think of you. On radio 2 Jeramy Vine had a very courageous lady on,BBC Radio 2 - Jeremy Vine, 15/05/2015 if you jump to 1hour 10minuets it starts there.

 

She also has a book out which may interest you