stress

[David oakman]

That looks like slaughden martello tower to me or is it orfordness lee:001_smile:

[Graham]

Read thru most of these posts and decided I'll throw in my life story fwiw!

 

I lost my sister when I was 17 and a year later my dad and was left at home with my mom. That was the start of a very introverted and also rebellious period.

 

Married at 21 as a sort of 'rebound' I think but didn't want to be! Sort of led my own life with shooting, spaniels and fishing....v selfish.

 

Cut to '87...divorced and own tree business. I couldn't let go of work and found it difficult to holiday etc even though I had four decent men who worked for me. I'd wake up at 3am worrying about money etc and lose lots of sleep which made things worse. At the same time I met the love of my life

 

I endured numerous break ins and stolen equipment until the final straw when I returned from a wedding to find out there'd been another break in and they'd set fire to one of the buildings so all tools apart from the ones they'd stolen were reduced to ash. To make matters worse the police virtually accused me of a set up job and the insurance cover was £5k when tools added up to £10k. I set up again and sold the business as I was so stressed I just wanted to escape.

 

After a break of two years, during which time I married my true love and had the first of my kids, I missed the trees so much I was back into it.

 

Anyway.....two kids, loving work and loving wife I was hit by a bombshell. She didn't want me there. No reason just out of the blue. I think I went thru every emotion possible inc dark thoughts!

 

That was eight years ago. I still miss her and always will but have moved on and now enjoy myself again.

 

Sorry to bore you. Not sure how I coped with stress but came thru it in a fashion but I do know it helps a lot to be able to talk whilst you're going thru it.

 

Still have stress but it's trying to get paid!!

[John Hancock]

 

Anyway.....two kids, loving work and loving wife I was hit by a bombshell. She didn't want me there. No reason just out of the blue. I think I went thru every emotion possible inc dark thoughts!

 

Jesus mate, my heart dropped when I read that paragraph, after all that you’d been through before too!

 

It’s a sad fact that people in general these days are more selfish than in previous generations. Our grandparents probably went through bad patches but they stuck with marriage – and I think they were better for it!

 

Just hope this tread doesn’t open up old wounds for you mate. When I first read this thread (before my post) I was very, very low – I even had the old thought of ‘trying to push an Oak over with the Discovery’ come back for a while. That’s when I decided to post and yes, it helped.

 

Glad it’s looking good again for you buddy, keep smiling

[Graham]

Jesus mate, my heart dropped when I read that paragraph, after all that you’d been through before too!

 

It’s a sad fact that people in general these days are more selfish than in previous generations. Our grandparents probably went through bad patches but they stuck with marriage – and I think they were better for it!

 

Just hope this tread doesn’t open up old wounds for you mate. When I first read this thread (before my post) I was very, very low – I even had the old thought of ‘trying to push an Oak over with the Discovery’ come back for a while. That’s when I decided to post and yes, it helped.

 

Glad it’s looking good again for you buddy, keep smiling

 

No old wounds opened up. Scars fade over time.

 

The way I see it now is a new beginning. Still love climbing trees, having kids around and taking them fishing.

 

Like you I had thoughts whilst driving....pick-up v tree. Since that time I've made new friends, rekindled old friendships and generally had a good time. There are still occasions when I think of times past and start to feel sorry for myself but they become rarer.

 

Good luck mate.

[Simon Rotheram]

It must be tuff for you guys that have split from your wives and kids, my wife is pregnant with our first baby due in 3 weeks and already cant imagine life without them.

 

I admire your strength men!

[penfold]

I feel that i can now add my ha'penny's worth after reading this thread and i have realised that i am in pretty much the same boat as a few people are/ have been. If it hadn't been for the fact that i saw a psychologist whilst i was at school for what turned out to be very deep seated emotional problems regarding the death of my dad when i was only very small and being bullied a lot, i would probably have been trying out how strong my knot tying was and i wouldn't be here today and enjoying the company of arbtalk and the many friends i have made on here and have yet to make. A few years ago i went through a very very lean patch and i hit the beer big time, 7/8 pints a night and probably more on a weekend and i suddenly realised that it wasn't doing me any good and then i had a patch of good luck, i sorted my act out and got a girlfriend and the business is now running smoothly again but it's still making a bit of a loss but i know that that is surmountable through my own efforts but i know not to bottle it all up inside me now and i'll talk to my friends down the local and on here if i need advice. thanks for this thread stevie, i'll try and buy you a cider at the aa.

[yorkshire pudding]

HAHA,just spent the last half hour pouring out my problems to a set of complete strangers, funnily enough i did feel a lot better for putting it down on page as it were,i relate to a hell of a lot of what has been said on here.

But as i came to the end, and i was ready to post my questions and share, it told me i'd been timed out.

Another time i suppose,but i'm impressed a bunch of hairy arsed arborists can stop and share, that helps a bit,Typing it all out helped.

Still don't know wether i should quit my job or not though.

I'll probably try again tommorow, time to spend some quality time with the Mrs.

Cheers Fella's.

[John Hancock]

It must be tuff for you guys that have split from your wives and kids, my wife is pregnant with our first baby due in 3 weeks and already cant imagine life without them.

 

I admire your strength men!

 

Just come back from my ‘Saturday afternoon, seeing the children’ and guess what? Life sucks! All I have to look forward to is my ‘Sunday afternoon, seeing the children’ and then after that I’m looking forward to the next Saturday and so-on and so-forth.

 

If any of you guys ever feel tempted to stray – DON’T! It really isn’t worth it. I’ve been living this life for over three years now and it never gets easier, in fact it gets worse! Guilt is one of the strongest of emotions – it eats into your very soul, consumes everything you once were and takes no prisoners.

 

I’m not looking for sympathy, far from it – just want to get the message across – when that temptation comes – go climb a tree, go for a run, take a cold shower, do anything but don’t give in to it. I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone at the moment, especially any fellow Arbs.

 

Keep safe brothers.

[tommer9]

John, you're a diamond mate- keep your chin up, and there's a load of us rooting for ya out here.

[nepia]

It must be tuff for you guys that have split from your wives and kids... cant imagine life without them.

 

I admire your strength men!

 

 

Likewise; led a bloody easy life myself I have to say compared to some of you. How lucky I've been and now humbled by many of you. :congrats: