Jump to content

Log in or register to remove this advert

Jokes???

brownie1964

By brownie1964
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

Log in or register to remove this advert

  • Replies 12.2k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

David Cropper
David Cropper
s o c
s o c

Now I’m Irish and not much of a royalist but I think there are thousands of things we can share jokes about besides making light of the passing of Prince Philip r.I.p.

Mark Bolam
Mark Bolam

Jurgen Klopp flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi boy play football. Kloppy is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over. Two weeks later Liverpool are 4-0 down to Chelsea with only

Posted Images

  • 1 month later...
shavey Grand Master

shavey

Posted
Posted

Anyone who says marriage is an equal partnership is talking utter rubbish

I gave up my mates , motorbikes , drinking , smoking and gambling

All she gave up was sex

eggsarascal Grand Master

eggsarascal

Posted
Posted

Young lady goes to the fortune teller, and says "two men are in love with me".

She asks the fortune teller "who will be the lucky one?"

The fortune teller replied "Fred will marry you, Peter will be the lucky one".

  • 3 weeks later...
Rich Rule Grand Master

Rich Rule

Posted
Posted

An airplane was about to crash. There were 4 passengers on board, but only 3 parachutes. The 1st passenger said "I am Stephen Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die." So he took the 1st pack and left the plane. The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump, said, "I am the newly-elected US President, and I am the smartest President in American history, so my people don't want me to die." He took the 2nd pack and jumped out of the plane. The 3rd passenger, the Pope, said to the 4th passenger, a 10 year old schoolboy, "My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute." The little boy said, "That's okay, Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest President took my schoolbag."

Andyhope1977 Contributor

Andyhope1977

Posted
Posted

3 men captured by female savagers, are told their dicks would be removed, in a manner appropriate to their jobs. 1st was a lumberjack so his would be chopped off, 2nd was a butcher, so his would be sliced off. 3rd man started laughing. The females asked what was so funny. He replied 'I work for dyson!"

 

Sent from my A0001 using Arbtalk mobile app

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing

  •  

About

Arbtalk.co.uk is a hub for the arboriculture industry in the UK.  
If you're just starting out and you need business, equipment, tech or training support you're in the right place.  If you've done it, made it, got a van load of oily t-shirts and have decided to give something back by sharing your knowledge or wisdom,  then you're welcome too.
If you would like to contribute to making this industry more effective and safe then welcome.
Just like a living tree, it'll always be a work in progress.
Please have a look around, sign up, share and contribute the best you have.

See you inside.

The Arbtalk Team

Follow us

Articles

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.