Jokes???

[Rich2484]

Checked in at the honeymooners hotel were 3 couples,and towards the end of the evening Tom Dick and Harry happened to all be at the bar,away from their ladies for a moment.

They got chatting,and of course ended up talking about the impending activities,and with this in mind decided that the 3 couples would sit together over breakfast.

Next morning old Tom started off and dropped just 1 sugar cube in his tea and stirred it up,middle aged Dick meanwhile reached for the sugar bowl and dropped 3 lumps in his cuppa.

Young Harry then picked up the sugar spoon and glumly threw it straight in the pot of raspberry jam.

 

:lol::lol:

 

I had to read that twice before it hit me.

[MATTMOSS]

I am quite proud of what Lance Armstrong has done!!..................................Last time I was on drugs i couldnt even find my bike.

[PeteB]

My wife suggested I get on of those penis enlargers, so I did..

 

Her names is Kathy and she is 21 years younger than me!

[hazzygawa]

Paddy, Niall and Liam are riding home from the pub on Paddy's motorbike when they're stopped by a traffic cop."This motorcycle is only licenced to carry two people," says the cop. "There's three of you, so someone'll have to get off and walk.""Three of us?" says Paddy, turning to Liam. "What the feck happened to Mick and Rory?"

[normandylumberjack]

What's the difference between a Giraffe and a JCB?

 

One has hydraulics, and the other has high b**ocks!

[Martyn Amos]

with all the bad weather we have had in the past few weeks,police are warning about 2 guys acting as workman clearing snow near schools,they go by the names jimmy shovel and gary gritter...

[Graham S]

Some **** wrote retard in the snow on my window , it took me ages to lick it off .

[PeteB]

* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his classgive him a hand-job. I said, "Son, that's 3 schools this year!You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether!

[PeteB]

A man called 999 and said "I think my wife is dead". The operator says,

"How do you know?"

The man says "The sex is the same, but the ironing is piling up."

[PeteB]

OLD AGE -

WHERE I HAVE AND HAVE

NOT BEEN

 

 

 

I have been

in many places, but

I've never been in

Cahoots. Apparently,

you can't go alone.

You have to be in

Cahoots with someone.

I've also

never been in Cognito.

I hear no one

recognizes you there.

I have, however, been

in Sane. They don't

have an airport; you

have to be driven

there. I have made

several trips there,

thanks to my friends,

family and work.

I would like

to go to Conclusions,

but you have to jump,

and I'm not too much

on physical activity

anymore.

I have also

been in Doubt. That is

a sad place to go, and

I try not to visit

there too often.

I've been in

Flexible, but only

when it was very

important to stand

firm.

Sometimes

I'm in Capable, and I

go there more often as

I'm getting older.

One of my

favorite places to be

is in Suspense! It

really gets the

adrenalin flowing and

pumps up the old

heart! At my age I

need all the stimuli I

can get!

But one

place I don’t ever

want to be is in

Continent.