Jokes???

[Mark J]

9 minutes ago, Ratman said:

I dunno,
There's never really been a shortage up here in Northumberlandashire, it is now close to £1.50/l now, which is costly

 

Edited October 30, 2021 by Mark J

[eggsarascal]

2 hours ago, Mark J said:

If he needs to polish anymore there are plenty being pumped into the waterways.

[Logdaft]

[htb]

2 hours ago, Logdaft said:

Too soon I expect to be showing pregnant as well.

[Treerover]

Many versions but none with a bass line like this one.
 

Or the key board …..oof

[Treerover]

Niche……but very funny Sir [emoji23]🤣[emoji23]

[Treerover]

Bloody genius [emoji23]🤣🤣🤣[emoji23]

[Mrblue5000]

A man has a dentist appointment. Before he goes his wife wants to 69. “No, I dont want to go to the dentist with you all over my breath” he says. But she won’t give up so gives in. When they finished, he goes into the bathroom and brushes for an hour, flosses for an hour and gargles with lysterine for an hour then goes to the dentist. He’s sitting in the chair and the dentist walks up and says “Ok, open up”. He opens his mouth and the dentist says “Oh my God!!” and quickly turns his head. The guy says “ Oh doctor I’m sorry about my breath!!” The dentist says “ No, your breaths fine. But your forehead smells like shit!!”

[youngsbury]

[oldwoodcutter]

Friend of mine rents a booth on Hunstanton sea front funfair.

He’s been a ventriloquist for 50 years and that’s all he knows really .

When I saw him he said business was very bad, he was lucky to get 1 customer a day in to hear his little act.

I said to him that a ventriloquist is a bit old hat, everyone nowadays is into spooks and the afterlife, ghosts and spirits that sort of thing.

So for once he took my advice as the next time I saw him he was doing seances, and getting into contact with those that had passed over.

He hadn’t got a price list on the door but I heard him answer customers price enquiries,

He could talk to the dead for £20

He’d get the dead to talk to him for £30

Or for £50 , all of the above whilst drinking a glass of water.