Jokes???

[SteveA]

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other,

"What kind of music do you like?"

 

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan"

cheers, steve

[TimberCutterDartmoor]

THE GYNAECOLOGIST WHO BECAME A MECHANIC

A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic.

He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill.

When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50% of the mark." ............

After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the exhaust pipe, which I've never seen done in my entire career".

 

:thumbup1:

[Haironyourchest]

Brilliant, passed it on!

 

...

 

A frustrated father was discussing parenting in the pub: "When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son's room - he has his own colour TV, telephone, computer, CD player and Playstation."

 

"So what do you do?" asked his friend.

 

"I send him to MY room!" exclaimed the father.

[Mark J]

A sultana walks into a bank and says 'I'd like to open up a current account please.'

Edited March 22, 2017 by Mark J

[Lowestoft Firewood]

A sultana walks into a bank and says 'I'd like to open up a current account please.'

 

I had a mate drown in a bowl of muesli the other day.

 

He was pulled in by a strong currant.

[Mark J]

Devastated,

A very sad day today. After seven years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

[Stubby]

Devastated,

A very sad day today. After seven years of medical training and hard work, a very good friend of mine has been struck off after one minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can now no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money. A genuinely nice guy and a brilliant vet.

 

As posted by Big J no 1651

[Mark J]

As posted by Big J no 1651

 

Hadn't seen that, did make me laugh though.

[Stubby]

Hadn't seen that, did make me laugh though.

 

It is indeed a cracker . As is Marks joke about the drunk and the £20 in his top pocket .

[Christopher Schroeter]

The boy came home from school...

 

Dad...why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

 

Dunno son why?

 

Cos it was dead!