Work for wood

[maybelateron]

4 hours ago, Mark Bolam said:

I quoted a multi-millionaire landowner £400 to clear a windblown oak once. Spec was to chip the brash and leave the timber in moveable bits. A short day for 2 of us about 10 years ago. He was a proper knob as soon as I turned up.

He came straight out with 'Why should I pay £400 for unskilled work?'

I asked if he could do it himself, and he said he couldn't.

I said that that must make him even less than unskilled?

 

He literally turned purple.

 

Didn't get the job, obviously, but that was worth far more than £400.

 

 

A couple of years ago I was collecting payment from a regular customer. He is one of those who always wants to pay cash to avoid the VAT. I let him pay cash, but he doesn't realise I have factored the VAT in - how else can I pay the wages and all the other running costs if it isn't going through the books.

Anyway, he asks me to quote for the next phase of work, and this was £480. He had just put £500 cash into my hand for the work just completed. He tried haggling about the price saying it was a simple job, not worth as much as £480. So I told him I would gladly give him the £500 in cash back if he would climb the tree and do the work.

Not worked for him since, tree still not been pruned by him or anyone else.

Vintage Mercedes in his garage of course.

[Mark Bolam]

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got some outstanding relationships with rich clients, and they’re good as gold.

I love working for them.

Some I don’t even quote, just do the work, invoice them and they pay.

 

Some people I just can’t work for.

That oaf in my last post started barking on about ‘knowing the value of tree work’ and ‘I never pay full price for anything’ before I’d even got out of the truck.

 

The problem is some rich people have surrounded themselves with sycophants and yes men, and can’t bear to hear the truth.

My old boss had a client who wanted a mature chestnut reduced (halved), but didn’t want it to grow back, ever, but still remain healthy.

The bloke didn’t like it when a scruffy little northerner (me) told him it wasn’t happening, at any price.

 

The trick is spotting them at quote stage, then leaving.

[Mark Bolam]

4 hours ago, Mark2 said:

I quoted a good size take down for fair price. With the right kit, my skill and a few nifty tricks we were cleaning up by dinner time. Same thing rich chap turned up, looking all indignant and hard done by,

he said ‘’but that only took you 4 hours!’’ 

I said no sir that’s taken me 30 years! Long long pause, hurph stomped off. Long wait for payment.

That’s a great answer Mark, and I will nick it if you don’t mind.

I’ll have to adapt it a bit, like.

I’m only 20.

[peds]

18 minutes ago, Mark Bolam said:

That’s a great answer Mark, and I will nick it if you don’t mind.

I’ll have to adapt it a bit, like.

I’m only 20.

No sir, that took me a four week crash course at a local arb school and a few all-night Youtube sessions.

[Mark2]

33 minutes ago, Mark Bolam said:

That’s a great answer Mark, and I will nick it if you don’t mind.

I’ll have to adapt it a bit, like.

I’m only 20.

Thanks Mark ! It’s a good’n, no copyright. It’s yours. It can be adapted to use when quoting a job, and our instinct tells us ‘he’s one of those types’ they question the price, and ask how long it will take. with good humour slip the joke in right ther, gets a good laugh an makes the point. As you will know Mark, quoting for work is all about good good communication! My advice to people starting out is. Get it all sown up so there is no room for deliberate Miss-understanding. On paper even better. 

Totaly agree with you, some rich people are really nice. If I were to generalise I like ‘old money’ but watch out for the ‘new money’ rich people !

Edited February 8, 2019 by Mark2

[htb]

10 minutes ago, Mark2 said:

Thanks Mark ! It’s a good’n, no copyright. It’s yours. It can be adapted to use when quoting a job, and our instinct tells us ‘he’s one of those types’ they question the price, and ask how long it will take. with good humour slip the joke in right ther, gets a good laugh an makes the point. As you will know Mark, quoting for work is all about good good communication! My advice to people starting out is. Get it all sown up so there is no room for deliberate Miss-understanding. On paper even better. 

Totaly agree with you, some rich people are really nice. If I were to generalise I like ‘old money’ but watch out for the ‘new money’ rich people !

Plenty of the new money types in Aberdeen, too much oil money to not very bright people.

[Mark Bolam]

Spot on mate.

The quote is the only chance you get to make money.

Take whatever time it takes to get it right.

Timber staying? - what size, where?

Lawn? - Do you want it immaculate afterwards?

Stump? What height? Just below ground level? Fine, stump grinding is extra.

Etc. etc.

Discuss the variables.

State your payment terms.

Domestic, mine are bank transfer on receipt of invoice, which will be on completion. 14 days? Bollocks. That’s just giving chancers 14 days before they start messing. Don’t like it? Get someone else.

As Mark says, communicate, communicate, communicate!

[Mark2]

And to add to Mark Bolams comment and tying directly to the original topic here !! After 50 years on trees, looking back, sometimes I was well off , sometimes not. So - - -

>> It’s the jobs we walk away from that will make us rich<<

And the same applies to staying alive ha ha ! Me ? 65, 3 day’s ago against all odds.

[Ratman]

That’s a great answer Mark, and I will nick it if you don’t mind.
I’ll have to adapt it a bit, like.
I’m only 20.

You been on juice again [emoji6]?

[eggsarascal]

5 minutes ago, Ratman said:

You been on juice again ?

He doesn't need a drink in him to start talking rubbish believe me, I've known him long enough.