Pay back for the work clowns

[TimberCutterDartmoor]

Gobsmacked. Absolutely shocked that a good few of you on here think physical / violence is ok!?

 

Unbelievable.

 

Someone headbutted me once years ago in a crowded nightclub, off his head, random. If I was small minded enough I'd have smashed his head thru the dance floor.

 

And you lot are on about revenge on jokes with food, utilising your fists?

 

Grow up. Handle your frustration. Walk away. Payback cleverly, not like a meat head.

[Matthew Storrs]

In the words of Sting, It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile! Actually a stern word has far deeper effect than violence, even if it is met with mocking at the time, the words always linger in their mind. Tampering with my flask or lunchbox though is punishable with death:sneaky2:

[Haironyourchest]

Take the chain off your biggest saw, wave it overhead, Leatherface style (refer to my avatar) rev the bejeezes out of it and chase them around the worksite. Video the chaos with your phone propped against a tree and post on youtube with circus music soundtrack.

[eggsarascal]

Gobsmacked. Absolutely shocked that a good few of you on here think physical / violence is ok!?

 

Unbelievable.

 

Someone headbutted me once years ago in a crowded nightclub, off his head, random. If I was small minded enough I'd have smashed his head thru the dance floor.

 

And you lot are on about revenge on jokes with food, utilising your fists?

 

Grow up. Handle your frustration. Walk away. Payback cleverly, not like a meat head.

 

If someone randomly head butted me they would be getting the most I could give. I'm not a violent person but I won't stand people fecking me and mine about. Infact I haven't thrown a punch in the last 10 years, and that fight was organised.

 

Sometimes you have to fight to be a man, do you know a song about that?

 

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[Thesnarlingbadger]

No smoking at work, do it in your own time and get another ride home if I smell it on you too.

 

So ignoring me, a lad on a 'social integration' work experience with us did just that at every opportunity, lit up.

 

I stole his fag packet and emptied them out, hiding them in the truck.

 

Then as he was feeding the chipper, I stuck the fag packet on the end of a branch and stuck it in the chipper before his eyes.

 

OH my...

 

Such a tantrum.

 

On the way home, his wife called and asked him to buy baby milk.

 

He replies, I need the money for fags.

 

Only then did I give him his fags back to spare his child an empty belly.

 

As I understand it, he remains unemployed some 3 years later.

 

Ty

 

 

If I heard someone say they were going to buy cigarets over baby milk I would have kicked him out of the van gone to the shop and brought some baby milk and dropped it off. No wonder that worthless git is still unemployed.

Jokes are fine as long as they are done in the right place, without having a laugh your just a bunch of miserable buggers getting through each day. Once worked with a company and one of the groudies tied a dead crow the the climbers rope, so when he palled her rope through he shat himself, job still got done on time no one was hurt and we all had a laugh. I'll point out we found the bird dead in the woods.

I'm not one for violence so if someone has gone to far with a joke on one of my jobs they are walking home unless there is a sincere apology. Fair is fair.

[treequip]

If I heard someone say they were going to buy cigarets over baby milk I would have kicked him out of the van gone to the shop and brought some baby milk and dropped it off.

 

Of course it might just be the case that he was saying that to make a point, which simply reinforces the point that practical jokes are inappropriate in the workplace.

[MattyF]

I think one of my favourites for a groundy to equalise any pish taking or tricks is if you find a pigeon nest throw an egg and shout catch and watch the disappointment as they get egg on there face as it disintegrates in there hands.. make sure your not getting down for a while to sit with them in the cab if it's a ripe rotten one.

[Billhook]

"When I were a lad" working my year's practical on a beef unit, my first day was to assist the team of vets and farm workers castrating a bunch of calves.

Harry the old stockman had a dirty old brown coat and had a habit of snivelling a lot and automatically putting his hand in his coat pocket to reach for his handkerchief with which he would quickly wipe his nose and return the handkerchief to the pocket. The operation seemed to only take a couple of seconds.

One of the old vets slipped a couple of testicles in his pocket when he was distracted and of course he wiped them all over his nose before he realised what had been done.

I laughed with everyone else, Harry seemed to mumble something but took it well and I thought nothing more about it.

 

At the time i was living at home and sharing an old Moskvitch car with my mother.

About a week later mother complained about a strange smell in the car which became so intense that one day we searched everywhere for the source.

Lifting up the back seat mother found the source and picked up a disgusting festering lump and said "What's this"

 

"Bulls Balls Mum!" She dropped them as though they were red hot!

[Billhook]

I do not recommend doing this prank to the truck belonging to the boss!

 

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[stihlmadasever]

Gobsmacked. Absolutely shocked that a good few of you on here think physical / violence is ok!?

 

Unbelievable.

 

Someone headbutted me once years ago in a crowded nightclub, off his head, random. If I was small minded enough I'd have smashed his head thru the dance floor.

 

And you lot are on about revenge on jokes with food, utilising your fists?

 

Grow up. Handle your frustration. Walk away. Payback cleverly, not like a meat head.

 

Rubbish,in Scotland a kick in the balls cures many many things...practical joking being one