westphalian

Had it for the first time last year. In 30 years only had one day off work sick (bar planned sick leave for surgery). Needed to take 3 days off with the influenza.

ok, I know I'm in trouble when I shout "timber" I hear the reply "Allahu Akbar" when felling

ok mr pedant. as Rick from the young ones would say, "most metaphors don't stand up to close scrutiny" Since 2000, there have been seven deaths per year in the UK due to terrorism - which, according to research from BuzzFeed, means you're more likely to be killed by dogs (18 deaths per year), hot water (100 deaths per year) or using your phone while driving (2,920 deaths per year).

More chance of a widow maker falling on you. Carry on as normal I say

Yes but not absolutely. We went without cats for a few months about 10 years ago and the rats just started taking the piss

I stopped using poison when I started to see grease marks on the false ceiling where the rats/mice pegged it and rotted away and also when I couldn't see where the funky smell from under the floorboards was coming from

Getting out of the sky??? Gravity would sort that

Go on then. What are the other two

they are all heavy. if you have two rifles you could have one for night set up permanently otherwise a Nitesite? I had an old model but found it too cumbersome

how long before you become proficient? I've been doing it most weekends for 2 years now and still not confident, still learning each time with the Logosol M8

I shoot em mate. Great sport. I have chickens cats and dogs so don’t like poison or traps

Usually do something to keep them happy. This was last year

Shame it is too short notice for you lot to help out but there are only 4 blokes for the 30 women who work for us at tonight’s party

you solo's should use arbtalk to arrange a xmas night out for your local area

Buachille etive mor. we actually passed a mountain instructor on way up, we knew each other as I had done an avalanche awareness course a year before. he was also mountain rescue. we were only walking and were not roped thank goodness, I topped but before my brother and his son got up the slab went. They got helicoptered off with a #ankle and axe thru thigh and I walked back down a different route. was interviewed on the telly. that weekend several climbers died

That’s good then. You can pick and choose. My brothers was last night and it was shit apparently

My works one tonight. Always great fun. What do all the lonely self employed subbies do this time of year?

quest que c'est? psycho

Zombie Killers? is that the new party Farage is forming?

You an anarchist? I’m stockpiling food and water, pellets for my air rife and sharpening my machetes. Can’t find my Ray Mears book on how to live off the land though

it must be news, it was in the Daily Mash

If they don’t control immigration I’ll move to a different country, says Brexiter A BREXITER has vowed to leave the country for some unspecified destination of his own free choosing if the government do not do something about immigration. Norman Steele, 59, says that if Britain insists on maintaining its crazy open borders scheme allowing foreigners to come over and settle on a whim, then he and his wife, Mrs Steele, will sell up and move to the South of France, or wherever else he fancies. Steele said: “This mad experiment in trying to make us all multicultural has got to stop. If they think they can make my wife wear a veil and speak Polish, they’ve another think coming. “Europe’s convenient. I reckon France, or Spain. Actually, Poland doesn’t look half bad. That’s the great thing about being free and British – you can go wherever you want. Mr Steele says that wherever he goes, he intends to ‘sit around on his arse all day’, eating egg and chips and reading the Daily Express so that he and his fellow expats can complain about immigrants.

Mr will do, I lied about having a PhD in sarcasm

ok, I might live up North but all this PC crap has passed me by. does anyone have any actual experience to "triggering an SJW" or is it all in the same league as white blue collar workers being discriminated against, Christians being persecuted and crime being thru the roof? if a bloke/woman got upset with my well intentioned use of a pronoun I would just laugh and tell em to grow up. mind, is is difficult to watch "love thy neighbour" again but "confessions of a window cleaner" is timeless