David Cropper

Bad English? Otto, if you read some of the rubbish written on these pages, you write like a university professor as do most of the Dutch I know!

Yes, they are, but only where when the male sex is involved. You're now treading in uncharted waters, to put it into context. Leave well alone, women ain't for anyone with maritime connections, just look at Mr Johnson. Stick to what you know, best bit of advice I can give.

Mr Cropper knows most variety of fat birds, web feet and all. Thank you for your misplaced faith, very touching.

Excellent, well thought out and delivered piece, Mark. Totally agree on all points. Good luck to Big J.

I will need photos of any and all big birds you trap, please.

Ah, Eggs dear boy, I'd forgotten about you and your unwillingness to try the larger sized ladies. I'm afraid, in my professional opinion as a connoisseur of flesh, that you are a lost cause. Or maybe you have sampled the delights of Mr Johnson's barrel too many times. I think my next wife will be a big un, had two small ones, time to expand my marital horizons.

Fat birds, yes, pizza yes, Bo Selecta shite, no. But thank you for the kind thought.

Yes, you are correct Moose, that's why I don't watch shite like that. Normally I'm "Down with the kids", in this instance I ain't.

Thanks Doug. Never seen it or heard of it!

Sorry boys, I must be slow today, not a clue!

Mick, for the Love of Christ, don't mention the bleeding chipper to him !

I actually heard one the same day you posted this! First time since I mentioned hearing one in April, before hearing a cuckoo. Still never seen one which jars me off. My grandson sees them quite frequently on their lake near Limoges. It's very heavily forested, ideal for them to hide out by the waterside.

My ex Captain was a monster of a man, typical Cavalry Officer. Whilst serving in Germany he was nearly killed when a Dutch APC, armoured personnel carrier, came out of a wood, crushed his car, which luckily was a Mercedes because that saved his life. Titanium plate in his skull and one in his leg. He was hospitalised for nearly 12 months, asked and received the metal pin out of his leg and had it made into a riding whip. When his Regiment was on Cyprus waiting for the Turkish invasion, mid 70s I think, he was commanding a troop of Ferret scout cars, all bombed up and ready. He decided Army rations weren't upto his standards, left the rest of the troop in situ, told his driver to drive to a nearby restaurant where he dined and then ordered enough good grub for the rest of the lads. He came to stay with me over here in 2003, first time I'd seen him for 30 odd years. Got me gloriously pissed, finished at 0700 the following morning, I collapsed where I was, slept for a few hours in a coma, was ill for three days, not him, after two hours kip in a chair, he drove into town to replenish my completely emptied bar, he was as fresh as a daisy. I didn't realise he was Diabetic, hence the massive thirst. We went later that year to the French Game fair at Chateau Chambord where he demolished any drink that came into his orbit, we then went into town for a meal, entered a restaurant where he promptly fell through the door onto the floor, shouting in fluent French that he was thirsty and needed a drink. We didn't get served, went to the next restaurant in line, a Moroccan owned one, same scenerio without the grand entrance tumble, argued the toss with the increasingly irate Morocans, asked to leave this one, ended up at our hotel bar. He visited me again 2 years later after we again went to the Game Fair, by this time his reputation had got round my French neighbours who adored him, we had a steady flow of gawking villagers popping in to meet the aristocratic piss head. He asked to return a couple of years later, I made some excuse , my liver wouldn't have survived. When he visited his second home in Brittany where he hunted with a rather grand pack of pig hounds, he presented a bust of Napoleon to each of the joint masters of the pack at a hunt meal. It coincidently was the the anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar, that went down well with the French hosts! Napoleon is one who you don't extract the urine from in France. Lovely bloke, mad as a hatter and quite dangerous! He's still alive and living on Dartmoor.

She looks good, Gary!

Mark, your ex girlfriend's brother may have been there, but you weren't. You, at first hand, know nothing about what went on. Hit squads? I assume the IRA didn't use such methods? They, of course, played like gentleman.

Sorry, this is a 200mm wheel, mine is 150, lot cheaper but it gives you an idea.

Yes, standard, no groove. Go onto their website and have a look by typing in the product code.

This is the invoice. I think I paid around £85 for the wheel. I also bought the bench grinder to go with it. You have to make sure that you ask for the middle inserts of the correct measurement to fit your grinder. On the order form there are options for coarse,.fine or medium but there only ever seems to be the medium in stock. As you can see, I've had the wheel 3 years next month Excellent piece of kit. Rather than order on lines I rang and spoke to Michelle who sorted me out. Nice people to deal with.

I bought a diamond wheel for my bench grinder, saved me thousands, literally. I buy a bucket of x60 Yellow jacket from Vermeer UK, 20% discount when you buy x60, that's your VAT paid if your not registered. I get between 3 to 5 sharpens from my teeth, depending on the amount of stones in or around the stumps. I change the teeth either every outing or every couple depending on how hammered they get. Each tooth takes a couple of minutes, I set them in an old tooth pocket and find it is more precise on the wheel, plus it stops your fingers getting hot. Be aware you will need a mask with the dust. I wear a mask then a face visor to be on the safe side. If you have good, sharp teethyou should be able to tackle biggish stumps.

Excellent! Someone else who likes Big Birds. Good man, I'm not alone.

No, motorways are as bad. Not for nothing are you referred to as "Lucky Moose McAlpine" throughout the Continental road systems.

I learnt to drive on Landrovers, still double declutched and gave a burst of revs when changing down 30 years after. I did a Police driving mini course when I worked at BP, the police instructor asked why I drove like that as no need to in modern cars. Old habits die hard!

It's like deviation signs around small villages etc. Just the one, then sod all, it's like the clowns who put them up expect everyone to know the way around as though you live in the village.