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Will C

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Everything posted by Will C

  1. I would like to see them do well, not because I agree with all they say but they seem to be less shit than any viable alternative. The main parties need a rocket inserting to make them realise they need to work in the interests of us lot more.
  2. Indeed, I herd a kid asking there mum if Tesco milk tasted different to Sainsbury’s milk the other week 🤦‍♂️
  3. We have a set of them, brilliant bit of kit until you try to move a aluminium clad welfare unit 🤦‍♂️
  4. Wow that’s a work of art. Good effort I doff my cap to you Sir
  5. That’s a rare very good quality old saw.
  6. Will C

    Jokes???

    A little boy and a little girl were peering down each other's pants. The little boy mocked the little girl for not having anything to see. She fled indoors in floods of tears, leaving one very smug boy. Two minutes later the little girl came back out, grinning broadly. "Why're you so pleased?" said the little boy. " 'Cos my mum says when I grow up, I can have as many of those as I want!"
  7. Will C

    Jokes???

    Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again. The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to the principal's office. He laughed, and told me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most. I told her, "Colonel Sanders." Guess where I am now...
  8. Will C

    Jokes???

    Have you heard of the girl who, when asked what she wanted to be when she finished school said "I want to be a table in a restaurant." When asked why, she replied "cos I'll get laid three times a day.".
  9. What van you got @eggsarascal I like classic commercials
  10. Labrador, there sole aim in life is to please (after food), there easy to train from a young age but may not fit your size rule.
  11. Can you add “replaces Oregon ….” In such a way it gets picked up by Google
  12. Just please don’t lose the white basic sugi bars, they are excellent value for money 👍 good luck, that sounds like my kind of hell!
  13. Will C

    Jokes???

    A dwarf was drinking in a bar when a sexy blonde walked up to him and said "I’ve always wanted to have sex with a little person" The dwarf replied, "I’m sorry, but I’ve had women say that before then I go home with them and the husband or boyfriend finds out and I get beaten up" "It's ok" said the woman, "my husband is working away until next week" So, against his better judgement he goes back with the woman. They start having amazing sex when suddenly the front door opens. "it’s my husband!!" she said. "Quick, hang out of the bedroom window and when he goes for a shower, you can climb in and get away" So the dwarf climbs out of the window and hangs on the ledge by his fingertips. The husband comes into the bedroom and says "It’s cold in here" slams the window shut and the dwarf plummets to the ground. The woman is distraught and calls an ambulance. A couple of days later she goes to visit the dwarf in the hospital. "How are you," she asked. "Well, my fingers are broken, I’ve got two broken ankles, a dislocated hip and severe concussion," he said. "Oh dear," she said. "Still, it could have been much worse", "Much worse!?" said the dwarf. "How do you figure that out?". "Well," she said, "you’re lucky that I live in a bungalow".
  14. Will C

    Jokes???

    I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call centre in Afghanistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.
  15. Will C

    Jokes???

    A Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, 'I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us.' So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, 'Come on in.' When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the pieces of window glass. A man reclining on the couch asked, 'Are you the people that broke my window?' 'Uh...yeah! , sir. We're sure sorry about that,' the husband replied. 'Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for my self.' Wow, that's great!' the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, 'I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life.' 'No problem,' said the genie 'You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!' 'And now you, young lady, what do you want?' the genie asked. 'I'd like to own a gorgeous home in every country in the world complete with servants,' she said. 'Consider it done,' the genie said. 'And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters 'And now,' the couple asked in unison, 'what's your wish, genie?' 'Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife.' The husband looked at his wife and said, 'Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?' She mulled it over for a few moments and said, 'You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?' You know I love you sweetheart,' said the husband. I'd do the same for you!' So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, How old are you and your husband?' 'Why, we're both 35,' she responded breathlessly. 'No Kidding,' he said. 'Thirty-five years old and you both still believe in genies?'
  16. With the correct management detailed above it could survive for many years however in my opinion the ongoing cost needs to assessed on an effort/cost vrs reward basis at that is your decision. A picture showing the whole tree and it’s location could help.
  17. The tang on my hook has been peened over but I can’t comment on if that is correct
  18. Because they want to spend some £ and we want to earn some £!
  19. Will C

    Jokes???

  20. I’ve no idea what your all on about! wockcombles
  21. Will C

    Jokes???

    That messes with my brain
  22. It will be higher in the search results than midget porn
  23. I think magnolia is Asian origin. Hence why it may not be in your book. They should not be pruned until after they flower in an ideal world.
  24. Will C

    Head lice

    Hydraulic oil kills the eggs and the lice! You can tell I was dragged up in the farm workshop, it never did me any harm - IMG_8579.avif

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