TheTreeWiseMen

A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet's surgery. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said 'I'm so sorry, your Duck, 'Cuddles' has passed away' The distressed owner wailed 'Are you sure ?' 'Yes, I am sure. The duck is dead' he replied. 'How can you be so sure,' she protested. ' I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything! He might just be in a coma or something' The Vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a black Labrador retriever. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, Put his paws on the table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then Looked at the Vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the dog, and took it out, and returned a few minutes later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, 'I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck'. The vet turned to his PC, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the distraught woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill '£150!', she cried, £150 just to tell me my duck is dead!' The vet just shrugged, and said 'I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab report and the Cat scan, it's now £150...

I have people over here who would buy your work in heartbeat.

You NUTTER!!!!

Rats? Squirrels? Try this..... http://www.killsometime.com/video/video.asp?ID=870

WTF???

Take a look at 'Arborsoftworx'.

The Beat- Mirror in the bathroom. [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTNpaaPHENE[/ame]

Rush 'The Trees' [ame] [/ame]

Was a climber/tree surgeon......now I'm an arborist.

They're only small but crab season is here. My little girl gets a real kick out of catching Atlantic blue crabs off our back dock.....Hopefully they'll get larger as we get further into the Autumn, they do taste good!

.....and failing that, lying face down on a bar floor somewhere.

Hopefully sold The Tree Wise Men and be retired somewhere in the Pacific North West.......with lots of guns, dogs and other cool things to pass the time with.

I've taken down London Planes in London that were full of German shrapnel......and when I was working in Munich I took down London Planes that were full of British/American shrapnel. Pain in the balls to re-sharpen your saw after almost every cut.

Yeah Ed, get him over here......he's a funny geezer!

I'm quite partial to this..... 15" feed, 140hp CAT engine, live hydraulics and built like a tank (and when I get my thumb outta my arse a winch coming for it soon too). Truly a great chipper, and I've used quite a few over the years....both Yank and European.

Unreal isn't it?

Merrit Parkway and/or Interstate 95, where New York crosses over into Connecticut.......beautiful stretch of road. Just watch out for the humourless State Troopers! I had real trouble with the girly speed limit when I first moved over here, 3 speeding tickets in just over a year! When you get further up I95 it splits into I91 as you get up into the New England states...........some beautiful scenery/roads up there too, especially during the Fall, sorry, Autumn.

Lucky you weren't smoking at the time!

$1250. My crew would have it on the floor by lunchtime. Chip the brush and most of the cord wood........then my mate with his prentice loader would lift out the stick in probably 2 pieces. Sorted! But you can bet your ass someone else 'round here would do it for less than $900.

...when you can never get your hands totally clean.

"I have a tree growing in my rear passage."

"My bush needs fertilizing."

Yep, Mohawk iron workers from the Kahnawake reservation up near Montreal.

England.

And my personal favourite, "If I get in bed with you, will you give me a better price?"