Urinating In A Client's Yard?

[leswold]

As the tone is already lowered....Mate of mine told me how when he was in army on exercise in the snow in Germany when they were given a new 2nd Lt. Rupert took his shovel & paper, did his business behind a hedge only for mate John to catch it, unseen, with another shovel. John said his face was a picture when he looked down after, knowing he'd been but nothing there.

[Stubby]

As the tone is already lowered....Mate of mine told me how when he was in army on exercise in the snow in Germany when they were given a new 2nd Lt. Rupert took his shovel & paper, did his business behind a hedge only for mate John to catch it, unseen, with another shovel. John said his face was a picture when he looked down after, knowing he'd been but nothing there.

 

Works for me ! Wish that could happen every time

[Shane]

big screen around the grinder, just pretend i using the remote

 

As demonstrated in your avatar!

 

Good work Stefan:thumbup:

[Billhook]

The most expensive story on this subject was one I heard about a student who was on VSO in Tanganyika (Tanzania) in the 1950s during the Groundnut Scheme debacle which is quite an amusing read for arbtalkers.

 

The Tanganyikan Groundnuts Scheme

 

 

It was a classic how not to try and organize something in the middle of nowhere from government offices in London

They had two and a half million acres to clear and not a clue initially. It went from bad to worse, cost over £50 million (multiply by 100 today)

 

Apart from the serious hospitalisations caused by felling trees full of angry African bees the student told stories of road building projects where those in London decided that to build roads you needed road rollers so about thirty of these were sitting in a compound never used as graders were what were needed.

In an early example of HSE someone decided that Africans should not be driving bulldozers without shoes so that 100 pairs of shoes were sent out, all size 8!

 

Because of the problems, mainly lack of rain, most of the managers time was spent meeting officials at airports to take them out to sites and look at the problems and eventually this student was out in the bush listening people explaining to the Minister of Food, John Strachey, why the scheme was failing because of lack of rain.

 

The student, having heard all this before and bored, decided to go behind a bush and relieve himself.

He came back to the group and to his horror Strachey decided to go on a little walkabout and went round to the back of the aforementioned bush.

 

Kicking the soil around he declared " Look, there is moisture here if you search for it, I have every confidence that everything will turn out all right"

 

I think you might call that "The Billion Dollar Pee!"

[Nick Connell]

We use the term "tree inspection" when going for a pee on sight incase were overheard by the customer.

 

I nearly got caught last week when looking casual having a pee behind a conifer. I felt a tap on my shoulder from the customer who had no idea what I was doing. He pointed over my shoulder at some old prickly branches on the floor and asked if I would mind putting them through the chipper. So I managed to stop peeing and bent down and picked up the pile of pee covered spikey branches covering the fact I was still hanging out. Then had to walk out in to the road and put them in the chipper hopper and rapidly put myself away before being arrested for having it dangling around in the street!

[Gray git]

Nick your a star if you have such self control to stop mid flow so easily :-?

[Nick Connell]

It's amazing what the fear of being caught can do! Lol

[LoadhandlerUK]

'Urinating In A Client's Yard' is ten times worse than 'a crafty pee behind a fence'

 

Reminds me of the team that sit to write the aircraft safety briefing "Should we have the misfortune to land on water...." (think graceful swan) or "Crash in the sea" anyone?

[Haironyourchest]

The Billion Dollar Pee..... well that was a shaggy dog story if I ever heard one!

[Haironyourchest]

Read the whole thing. Interesting though and glad I did...