Funny lines that customers come out with!

[Goaty]

Oh it's ok, I've already spoken to the Council and they're fine with it....

 

 

 

Definitely no TPO's in this garden and besides I planted that tree myself (pointing to a 150+ year old Oak)

 

 

 

Nahhh, the CA boundary's a bit further down the road

 

 

 

 

 

One I can't claim but was on here a while ago - Isn't the disabled boy with the calipers on his legs doing well up there

 

 

It was 18 stoner in the disabled arbs thread.

[Hodge]

I did a job for a solicitor, it wa a small birch removal, £150 it only took 45 mins, guess what he said? " you guys certainly know how to charge" 😂😂

[lakeyboy]

Can you just.....

[nepia]

I did a job for a solicitor, it wa a small birch removal, £150 it only took 45 mins, guess what he said? " you guys certainly know how to charge" 😂😂

 

 

Beaut! And I'll bet he never saw the irony...

 

Delivering firewood a couple of weeks back; rang the doorbell, waited and Madam - late 30s - opened it slightly with a bath towel around her. I apologised for the disturbance of course and the rejoinder was 'it seems that if I ever want someone to come to the house I just have to get in the shower'.

 

Er - yep, that would work.

[ArthurBottlesworth]

When I was insurance assessor went to see tree that had fallen out of churchyard and crushed mohammeds nissan ( now 18 inches high )

 

Sent report off -- total loss etc etc

 

Then got phone call from insurance company " please advise mr mohammed not covered ACT OF GOD "

 

Knew it wouldn't go well

 

Rang mr mohammed,

5 minutes later phone call from vicar

Repeated story

10 minutes later call from " rural dean "

This went on all morning with me repeating story to everyone

 

Finall call from "bishop of m******" explained situation to which he replied

 

" I'm telling you young man I'm having NO ACTS OF GOD IN MY PARISH "

Mr mohammed got paid

[AHPP]

When I was insurance assessor went to see tree that had fallen out of churchyard and crushed mohammeds nissan ( now 18 inches high )

 

Sent report off -- total loss etc etc

 

Then got phone call from insurance company " please advise mr mohammed not covered ACT OF GOD "

 

Knew it wouldn't go well

 

Rang mr mohammed,

5 minutes later phone call from vicar

Repeated story

10 minutes later call from " rural dean "

This went on all morning with me repeating story to everyone

 

Finall call from "bishop of m******" explained situation to which he replied

 

" I'm telling you young man I'm having NO ACTS OF GOD IN MY PARISH "

Mr mohammed got paid

 

Outstanding!

[Mick Stockbridge]

Took down a pear tree laden with fruit for an Indian lady once. We agreed a price but when it came to paying she said....no no, you take fruit instead.

[ArthurBottlesworth]

Quote from insurance claim form

100% true and tells you all you need in one sentence

 

" I was lying in bed when mr jones rammed me up the rear "

 

Made my week

[Mikyb]

Me: Our charges are (for example) £1 per hour, it may take a few hours it could take more depending how much you want of etc...

Customer: No!! I want a price for the job!

Me: OK £4.

Customer: Accepted.

Me: Finished, that'll be £4 please.

Customer: But it only took you 2 hours, it should be £2!

 

[fagus]

Him, That tree is dead. Me, but it has pink flowers on it right now. Him, Oh don't ask me I am not a gardener.

 

Another guy building removal case for perfectly healthy tree -And it drops leaves in the Autumn, plus the birds sit in it and sh*t all over.

 

Tree never used to be that big.