Funny things customers say ?

[mistahbenn]

Free rates as its a good bit of sport for the gun.

 

I sure hope you aren't serious, for if you were said smoking gun would be turned onto you.

[Rich2484]

I sure hope you aren't serious, for if you were said smoking gun would be turned onto you.

 

I get it there are cat lovers around. But I'm afraid I'm not one of them. A neighbour rescues stray cats. There are loads of them on my road. And they spray over everything. Poo on everything. I once got into my car and started to drive when I smelt spray. A cat had crawled under my car and sprayed into engine area, turn on the heating and it stank.

 

I hate cats and I have no problem saying it. If anyone loves cats that's there choice same as mine is to hate them.

[sloth]

Feel free to hate them, not a good reason to shoot them out of a tree though.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What if you damage the cambium!? :sly:

[felixthelogchopper]

I get it there are cat lovers around. But I'm afraid I'm not one of them. A neighbour rescues stray cats. There are loads of them on my road. And they spray over everything. Poo on everything. I once got into my car and started to drive when I smelt spray. A cat had crawled under my car and sprayed into engine area, turn on the heating and it stank.

 

I hate cats and I have no problem saying it. If anyone loves cats that's there choice same as mine is to hate them.

 

It's not only cats that cause problems. I had a similar problem with a neighbour whose dog used to pee on my front wheel, causing a smell when the brakes were applied. It did stop when I told said neighbour that next time I saw it happen, I would do the same through his letterbox after a good portion of Asparagus.

[Robert_S]

.....whilst your here can you just?.......

 

That always cracks me up

[likeitorlumpit]

I had a customer last week who specifically wanted 'crap' turf so his new lawn blended in with the rest of the garden. Also he wanted it all bumpy. Now where do I get crap turf.

On Friday we had a blokes wifes ashes buried near the base of a 4 stem Ash covered in Ivy.

They were under a standard rose which he didn't want damaging.

No pressure then

[TimberCutterDartmoor]

Fairly new firewood customer - "I only want ash". I said the load will have some ash, but not all. "Ok, I'll have some of that". Next order; "have you got any ash - I want ash". Here we go again Last order - "I only want ash; I know you brought beech and hornbeam last time aswell but I don't want any of that rubbish; just ash?" I can't do that; the loads are mixed. "Surely you've got ash? You must have loads of it with this ash disease..." :001_rolleyes:

[TREE-SURGEON-ESSEX]

Makes me laugh when a customers calls with the hump that I have not rang them back, and i kindly point out that telepathy is not best skill so a phone number would help lol.

[jose]

finish up the job and get the classic ' sopose you want paying?'. Drives us nuts. Brother turned around to a highly annoying woman as said dead faced' do u want your tree back?'. was having a bad day.

 

turn up to job hi we are the tree surgeons. 'but theres only 2 of you'.

 

old boss pulled up to a job, old boy walking along went straight into a rant (no idea why). boss just repeated merry Christmas over and over till eventually he responded (was almos xmas). then they talked. i was wetting myself:lol:

 

Dogs. Turned up to this job and it was very much pykie like area. Guy had a dog that was pure muscle, thing was the body builder champ of the dog world.

Was desperately trying to get to the neighbors dog through a solid iron gate. Damn bars were nearly bending. We get inside and i ask him to put the dog away so we can work. Oh hes a softy and wouldnt hurt a fly.

Yeah right i have had dogs all my life and this thing was pure aggression and was giving me the eye too.

has to use the line i didnt want him getting hurt. I think i could dropa sawon him and not hurt him!

[DN22 Gardening]

Just done two days conny trimming in a large school.

The Head came to inspect the work when we'd finished

"Very nice job thanks, but seeing as its only 3 o'clock and you've got an hour of light left, could you JUST take out those two horrible 30' conifers.(2 or 3 hrs work) i'll get one of the girls to make you a cup of tea while you do it"

Me "Err sorry, we haven't got time today, but i can give you a price and do it next time the schools closed"

Head "won't you do it for free ????"